CBWL Offices – Atlanta, Georgia
Monday Night – June 15, 2026 Booking Meeting
The conference room was already half-full when Cowboy Watts walked in. Jim Ross was already seated near the head of the table, going through his notes. Joan Rivers sat on one side with a cigarette in her hand (even though smoking wasn’t allowed), while Tony Soprano leaned back in his chair across from her, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Bill Parcells sat near the end of the table with his arms crossed, already looking impatient. Sarah Palin was making small talk with Arnold Palmer, who looked mildly confused about why he was even there. Conrad Murray and Elena Ceaușescu sat quietly near the middle, observing more than speaking.
Cowboy dropped into the chair at the head of the table and didn’t waste time.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright, let’s get into it. We’ve got a lot to clean up after Friday, and we need to figure out what the hell we’re doing in Charlotte this week. Who wants to start?”
Joan Rivers spoke first, not even waiting for anyone else.
Joan Rivers: “I’ll start. The main event was a fucking disaster. Emma went off the rails, Hilary got hurt, and now we’re sitting here trying to figure out how to clean it up. We should’ve shut that shit down the second she grabbed the mic. Instead, we let it turn into a goddamn street fight.”
Tony Soprano nodded, jumping in right after her.
Tony Soprano: “I agree with Joan. That finish made us look like we don’t have control. If we let talent do whatever they want after the bell, we’re gonna have problems every week. We need to come down on Emma. Hard. Make an example out of her.”
Bill Parcells grunted from the end of the table.
Bill Parcells: “I don’t disagree, but we also can’t ignore what the crowd reacted to. Emma looked mean out there once she stopped playing nice. That’s the first time she’s actually gotten a real reaction in weeks. I’m not saying we let her do whatever she wants, but there might be something worth using.”
Sarah Palin jumped in, trying to split the difference like usual.
Sarah Palin: “I think we need to be careful here. If we punish Emma too publicly, it could make her look like a victim. But if we do nothing, it tells everyone else they can ignore the finish too. Maybe we bring her in, talk to her, and then decide how we want to play it moving forward.”
Arnold Palmer, who had been quiet up until now, finally spoke up.
Arnold Palmer: “I’m still not entirely sure what happened out there. One minute she won the match, and the next she was… doing that thing with the hold on the ice. I don’t know if that was planned or not.”
Joan Rivers rolled her eyes.
Joan Rivers: “It wasn’t planned, Arnold. That’s the problem.”
Cowboy held up a hand before the conversation could spiral.
Cowboy Watts: “Enough. We’re not deciding anything about Emma tonight. JR and I are bringing her in on Wednesday to talk to her. Until then, we’re not making any big calls. What I want to focus on right now is Charlotte. We need a go-home show that actually feels like a go-home show. Not another shitshow like last Friday.”
Jim Ross spoke up for the first time since the meeting started.
Jim Ross: “I agree. We need structure this week. The bathroom match rib shouldn’t have happened without more oversight. The main event shouldn’t have been allowed to turn into what it did. If we want Charlotte to go smoother, we need to be tighter on what gets approved and what doesn’t.”
Tony Soprano leaned forward.
Tony Soprano: “So what are we doing with the main event in Charlotte? We still don’t even know what we’re doing with Emma yet.”
Cowboy looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s why we’re here. I want ideas. And I want them to make sense. We’ve got five days to figure this out. Let’s start talking.”
The room went quiet for a moment as everyone looked around at each other, the tension already starting to build.
Cowboy Watts leaned back in his chair and looked down the table toward Arnold Palmer.
Cowboy Watts: “Arnold. Go over the numbers from Friday. Attendance, merch, gate. Let’s hear it.”
Arnold Palmer adjusted his glasses and flipped open a folder in front of him, taking a second to find the right page.
Arnold Palmer: “Right. So… attendance came in at 5,187. That’s down from what we were hoping for, especially since we were in the Atlanta market. Gate receipts landed around $187,000 before expenses. Merch sales were… not great. We brought in just under $42,000 in merchandise. That’s well below what we usually see when we run this building.”
He glanced up briefly before continuing.
Arnold Palmer: “Overall, it was a soft night financially. The no-ring setup seemed to hurt walk-up business, and the crowd that did show up didn’t spend much at the merch tables. We’re going to need stronger numbers out of Charlotte if we want to stay on track heading into the pay-per-view.”
Cowboy nodded slowly, making a note on the pad in front of him but didn’t say anything yet.
Jim Ross spoke up next, turning his attention toward Elena Ceaușescu.
Jim Ross: “Elena. What was the crowd like? What were people saying about the show and the performers?”
Elena sat up slightly straighter, her voice calm and direct with a faint Eastern European accent.
Elena Ceaușescu: “The crowd was quiet for most of the night. They reacted to a few things — the concession stand brawl got the strongest response, especially the moment with Laura’s pants. The main event got noise at the end, but it was mixed. Some people were into Emma’s aggression. Others were confused or upset about how it ended. There was a lot of talk after the show about whether what happened to Hilary was real or not.”
She paused for a moment before continuing.
Elena Ceaușescu: “Overall, the sentiment was… negative toward the company more than the wrestlers. People felt like the show was disorganized. The bathroom match got some laughs, but a lot of fans were saying it felt too far. They didn’t seem to care much about most of the undercard. Mila was one of the few performers who came out of the night looking better than she went in.”
After Elena finished giving her report on crowd sentiment, Cowboy Watts turned toward the other end of the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Conrad. You’re up. Go over the medical situation from Friday. I want to know exactly what we’re dealing with and how much this shit is gonna cost us.”
Dr. Conrad Murray opened a thin black folder and adjusted his glasses before speaking in his usual calm, clinical tone.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “I’ll go performer by performer. Starting with Hilary Duff.
Hilary sustained second-degree chemical burns across her lower back, buttocks, and the posterior surface of both thighs. The burns cover approximately 18% of her total body surface area. Because the burns were caused by prolonged contact with dry ice during the Boston Crab spot, there is also concern for deeper tissue damage and possible nerve involvement. She is currently experiencing significant pain, swelling, and blistering. She was prescribed strong pain medication and topical burn treatments. Estimated initial medical costs for her treatment, including emergency care, wound management, and follow-up visits, are approximately $47,000. If nerve damage is confirmed and requires additional treatment or physical therapy, that number could rise significantly.”
He turned the page.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Boxxy suffered soft tissue trauma to the neck and upper shoulders from repeated forced contact with the toilet during the bathroom match. There is also evidence of mild whiplash and possible minor cervical strain. She experienced a brief period of oxygen deprivation while her head was held underwater, though she did not lose consciousness. She is reporting neck pain, headaches, and general soreness. Emotionally, she is showing signs of acute stress. Estimated medical costs for Boxxy are around $9,200, including imaging, physical therapy, and follow-up care.”
He continued without looking up.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Laura also sustained first and second-degree burns from hot oil during the concession stand brawl. The oil made contact with her right shoulder, upper back, and the side of her neck. She also has minor irritation and blistering on her face and chest from the nacho cheese that was dumped over her head, though those are mostly superficial. Combined with the contusions from being thrown around the stand, her estimated medical costs are now approximately $14,600.”
He turned the page.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Wendy Williams presented with a significant hematoma on the side of her head, consistent with blunt force trauma. She also showed signs of facial swelling and general fatigue. Estimated treatment costs are around $4,100.”
Before Conrad could continue, Tony Soprano let out a short laugh from across the table.
Tony Soprano: “That bump on her head didn’t happen here. She showed up with that shit already on her face. That ain’t on us.”
He smirked and leaned back in his chair, clearly unbothered.
Tony Soprano: “Speaking of Wendy though… we need to get her cleaned up. I’m talking triple Botox, tummy tuck, brand new massive silicone tits, new teeth, shave her head and slap a surgically installed wig on her, head-to-toe laser hair removal — whatever the fuck else a 61-year-old bimbo needs to stop looking like she’s falling apart on camera. I’ll refer her internally to Dr. Ted Eisenberg for the whole thing. He’ll get her looking right again.”
Cowboy Watts didn’t look particularly surprised by Tony’s comments. He just rubbed his temple and kept writing notes on his pad.
Cowboy Watts: “Add it to the list. We’ll deal with it later.”
Dr. Conrad Murray continued, unfazed by the interruption.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Emma Watson has minor first-degree chemical burns on her left side and lower back. Minor soreness overall. Estimated costs are approximately $2,400. Boxxy is still reporting neck and shoulder pain along with headaches. Estimated costs remain around $9,200.”
He closed the folder.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Total estimated medical costs across all performers from Friday’s show currently sit at approximately $82,000. That number will likely increase once we receive final imaging and specialist reports, particularly for Hilary and Boxxy.”
Cowboy exhaled through his nose and looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Eighty-two grand already, and we haven’t even started talking about what we’re doing in Charlotte yet. Jesus Christ.”
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Speaking of running out of time… Wendy is running out of time. Her dementia has progressed into late-stage. I’m honestly surprised she’s still functioning at the level she is. We signed her two weeks ago thinking she could still handle the role. Clearly, that was a mistake.”
Tony Soprano spoke up quickly, keeping his tone even.
Tony Soprano: “I was just doing what I was told. We saw the pictures, she looked fine. Nobody said she was this far gone.”
Joan Rivers leaned forward, clearly irritated.
Joan Rivers: “That’s the problem. We brought her in because we thought she could still do the job. The pictures looked good. Nobody realized how bad she actually was until she showed up. Now we’ve got a woman with late-stage dementia on camera and we’re acting surprised?”
Sarah Palin: “We knew she was sick. We just didn’t know it was this bad. That’s on us for not doing more due diligence before we signed her.”
Bill Parcells: “She looked rough on Friday. If she’s already this far gone, we shouldn’t have put her on television in the first place. This makes us look careless.”
Elena Ceaușescu: “She’s becoming a liability, both medically and from a presentation standpoint. We need to decide what we’re doing with her before this gets worse.”
Cowboy Watts cut in before the conversation could spiral.
Cowboy Watts: “Enough. It doesn’t matter how we got here. She’s a disposable backstage announcer. We can find another one tomorrow if we need to. She’s a dime a dozen. We’ll deal with her and move on.”
Tony stayed quiet, but his expression shifted slightly as he listened to everyone talk. The idea of replacing her was clearly already forming in his head.
Joan Rivers spoke again, more measured this time.
Joan Rivers: “She still has some name value. That can be useful for now. But she’s becoming more trouble than she’s worth. We should use what’s left of her while we can and then cut her loose.”
Sarah Palin: “On the other hand, having someone with late-stage dementia on camera makes us look bad. We should probably start moving away from her sooner rather than later.”
Bill Parcells: “She’s not adding anything at this point. She looks bad, she sounds checked out, and now we’re finding out how bad her condition actually is. We’re better off replacing her with someone who can actually do the job.”
Elena nodded slightly.
Elena Ceaușescu: “She was a short-term solution at best. We should use her while her name still carries some weight and then move on. There’s no long-term value in keeping her around.”
Tony remained silent, but it was clear he was already thinking about who could take her place.
The room had started to settle after the back-and-forth about Wendy when Jim Ross spoke up. His tone was calm, but there was a grim edge to it.
Jim Ross: “Conrad… I know this is gonna sound cold, and it probably is, but Cowboy and I need to know. What’s her life expectancy looking like?”
The room went quiet. A few people shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Dr. Conrad Murray didn’t flinch. He answered in the same clinical tone he always used.
Dr. Conrad Murray: “Late-stage dementia moves differently from person to person, but based on her current condition and what I’ve seen, we’re likely looking at anywhere from six months to two years. It could be shorter if complications arise. It’s not an exact science, but she’s already quite far along.”
Jim Ross nodded slowly, his expression tight.
Jim Ross: “Alright. Appreciate you being straight with us.”
Cowboy Watts stayed quiet for a moment, staring down at the table before finally speaking.
Cowboy Watts: “Six months to two years… Jesus.”
Tony Soprano didn’t say anything, but the corner of his mouth twitched slightly. He kept his eyes on the table, clearly already running numbers in his head.
Joan Rivers leaned back in her chair and let out a short breath.
Joan Rivers: “Well… that puts things into perspective, doesn’t it?”
Sarah Palin looked uneasy but didn’t speak right away. Bill Parcells just shook his head once and stayed silent.
Jim Ross: “I’ll bring Wendy in on Wednesday after I meet with Emma. I’ve got a few other talent meetings that week anyway, so I’ll just knock them all out while I’m here.”
Tony Soprano sat up a little straighter.
Arnold Palmer looked over at him.
Arnold Palmer: “If you’re gonna go get her, you’d probably have to leave now if you want to make it back in time.”
Tony didn’t hesitate.
Tony Soprano: “I’ll go get her.”
Jim Ross shook his head.
Jim Ross: “I was gonna send Urkel. They live in the same building. It’d be easier.”
Tony’s jaw tightened. He leaned back in his chair and stared across the table at JR for a second before speaking.
Tony Soprano: “Urkel?”
Jim Ross: “Yeah. It makes sense. They’re already in the same place.”
Tony didn’t respond right away. He just slowly nodded once, his expression flat.
Cowboy Watts cut in.
Cowboy Watts: “Fuck it. You can go. But stop dragging Butterbean with you everywhere. We’re not budgeting two tickets every time somebody leaves the building.”
Tony stayed quiet for a moment, then gave a short nod without looking at anyone.
Tony Soprano: “…Fine.”
Arnold Palmer checked his watch.
Arnold Palmer: “You’re already cutting it close if you’re trying to get there and back before Wednesday.”
Cowboy looked at Tony.
Cowboy Watts: “Then what the fuck are you still sitting here for? Go.”
Tony stood up without another word, pushed his chair in, and walked out of the room. The door clicked shut behind him a little harder than necessary.
Cowboy Watts leaned forward and rested his arms on the table, looking around at everyone.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright, real quick before we start talking about Charlotte. Last Friday was a mess. Low attendance, the show looked cheap as hell with no ring, the bathroom match turned into a goddamn disaster with that rib, and the main event went completely off the rails. Emma won clean, then decided to keep going after the bell, cut a promo, and put Hilary through the ice. Hilary’s fucked up with burns and a bad back. That’s where we’re at. Now we need to figure out how we’re following up on this shit in Charlotte.”
He looked down at his notes for a second, then continued.
Cowboy Watts: “Taylor’s opening — it was fine, but it felt like we were covering up the fact that we didn’t have a ring. We need to figure out if we’re addressing that again or just moving past it.
Mariska’s office segment with the unbooked girls — we punished them and threw them in the bathroom match. We probably need to follow up on that, whether it’s Mariska checking in on how that went or the girls reacting to what happened.
Bathroom match — that one’s a problem. Between the rib and how it played out, we’ve got heat in the back and the crowd was mixed. We need to decide if we’re leaning into the aftermath or trying to move past it clean.
Emma and Hilary’s backstage conversation — that was fine, but now that the main event went the way it did, we probably need to address it somehow. Either they talk again or we show some kind of reaction from one of them.
Florence and Wendy — that whole cheese bit was stupid. We need to figure out if we’re continuing that or dropping it. And Wendy… we already know she’s a problem now.
Mila and Laura in the concession stand — that one actually worked. Mila looked strong. Laura got buried. We should probably keep building off that.
JoJo’s video — didn’t do much. We need to decide if we’re doing another update or if we’re moving on from her for now.
Referee lottery — harmless, but Urkel reffing the main event went sideways. We probably need to follow up on that.
And the main event… that’s the biggest thing. Emma went off script, Hilary got hurt, and now we’ve got a mess. We need to figure out how we’re playing this. Do we lean into Emma snapping, do we punish her, or do we try to play both sides? That’s the one we really need to nail down before Friday.”
Jim Ross: “Before we get too deep into Charlotte, I want an update on the Sterling Marlin situation. We used him as the reason there was no ring on Friday. We should probably know where that actually stands before we run another show without one.”
Cowboy nodded and looked over at Elena Ceaușescu.
Cowboy Watts: “She’s right. Elena, go figure that out. Find out what’s actually going on with him and whether we’re ever getting that ring back.”
Elena gave a small nod, stood up without a word, and quietly left the room.
A few seconds later, Arnold Palmer checked his watch and slowly pushed his chair back.
Arnold Palmer: “Well… if I’m going to pick up Emma, I should probably head out now too.”
Cowboy gave him a short nod.
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah, go ahead.”
Arnold stood up, adjusted his jacket, and made his way out of the room without any further comment. The door clicked shut behind him.
Cowboy Watts looked over at Dr. Conrad Murray.
Cowboy Watts: “Conrad, you can head out. It’s booking time.”
Dr. Murray gave a small nod, gathered his folder, and quietly stood up. He didn’t say anything as he made his way out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Once he was gone, Cowboy looked around at the remaining people.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s actually start talking about Charlotte. We need a go-home show that feels like a go-home show. Not another mess like last Friday.”
Jim Ross: “We need to address the main event from last week. Emma going off script and putting Hilary through the ice is the biggest story we have right now. We can’t just ignore it. Either we have them cross paths again, or we show some kind of reaction from one of them. Maybe Emma cuts a promo about what happened. Or we have Hilary show up in some capacity, even if she’s not wrestling.”
Joan Rivers jumped in right after.
Joan Rivers: “Emma needs to be front and center. She looked like a different person once she stopped playing nice. If we’re leaning into her as more of a badass, we should keep pushing that. Maybe she comes out and says she’s done playing by the rules, or that she’s tired of being the good girl. We can have someone come out and try to calm her down, only for her to turn on them too. Keep the momentum going.”
Bill Parcells grunted.
Bill Parcells: “We also need to do something with Mila. She looked like the only real star on the show last week. If we’re trying to build her, we should give her another strong showing. Maybe put her in another brawl or a short, dominant match. Keep her hot.”
Sarah Palin nodded, adding her thoughts.
Sarah Palin: “Laura got completely buried last week. If we’re not planning to do anything with her long-term, we can keep kicking her while she’s down. But if we ever want to do something with her again, we probably shouldn’t destroy her completely in Charlotte. Maybe have her come out and try to get some heat back, even if it backfires.”
Joan Rivers smirked.
Joan Rivers: “Or we just keep feeding her to people. Mila looked good beating her. Maybe we do it again, or we put her in another ugly spot. Let the audience keep hating her.”
Jim Ross steered it back toward the bigger picture.
Jim Ross: “We also need to think about what we’re setting up for the PPV. If we’re doing something big in Atlanta, we should probably start planting seeds this week. Whether that’s Emma, Mila, or someone else, we need at least one or two things that feel like they’re leading somewhere.”
Cowboy nodded, writing a few things down.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. So we need to deal with Emma and Hilary, keep building Mila, and figure out what we’re actually setting up for Atlanta. Anything else we’re missing from last week that we need to follow up on?”
Joan Rivers spoke up again.
Joan Rivers: “The bathroom match. We’ve got heat in the back over that whole thing. We should probably address it somehow, even if it’s just Mariska saying something about it. Otherwise it’s gonna keep hanging over us.”
Bill Parcells shook his head.
Bill Parcells: “I still think we should’ve never done that match in the first place. But if we’re gonna follow it up, we need to be smart about it. Either we lean into the chaos or we try to move past it clean. Half-assing it is just gonna make it worse.”
Bill Parcells looked across the table at Cowboy.
Bill Parcells: “Before we start throwing out a bunch of ideas for Charlotte, what the hell are we even doing at the PPV? We’ve been talking around it, but we still haven’t nailed down what the actual plan is for Atlanta.”
Cowboy exhaled through his nose and leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s what we’re trying to figure out. We’ve got some pieces, but nothing’s locked in yet.”
Jim Ross spoke up, his tone calm and measured.
Jim Ross: “If I can make a suggestion… we should probably do this the old-school way. Figure out the PPV first — what the finishes are, what the big moments are — and then work backwards from there. Book Sunday night first, then build the go-home show around it. That way everything on Friday actually means something instead of just throwing shit against the wall and hoping it sticks.”
Cowboy nodded slowly, thinking it over.
Cowboy Watts: “You’re saying we should lock in Atlanta before we worry too much about Charlotte?”
Jim Ross: “Exactly. If we know what we’re doing at the PPV, the go-home show writes itself a lot easier. We can plant seeds, pay things off, or set up whatever we need without guessing. Right now it feels like we’re booking Friday in a vacuum.”
Joan Rivers tapped her nails on the table.
Joan Rivers: “He’s not wrong. We’ve been spinning our wheels trying to figure out Charlotte without knowing what we’re actually building toward. If we lock in the PPV direction first, the rest of it gets a lot cleaner.”
Bill Parcells grunted in agreement.
Bill Parcells: “Makes sense to me. We’ve been doing this backwards. Figure out what the hell we’re doing in Atlanta, then work back from there.”
Cowboy Watts: “Alright, let’s start locking some shit in. We’re doing the PPV in Atlanta on Sunday. Here’s what I’m hearing so far — tell me if we’re on the same page or if we need to tweak it.”
PPV Card Direction (Atlanta – Sunday)
Main Event: Taylor Swift vs Emma Watson Emma turns full heel. She completely destroys Taylor — makes her look like an innocent, soft babyface who got in way over her head. Emma goes over clean and we officially rebrand her as a nasty, tough-as-nails UK chav. No more of that polite, goody-two-shoes, UN spokesperson bullshit. She’s now the type who’ll knock your lights out and rob you while you’re on the ground.
Co-Main Event: Kristen Bell vs Florence Pugh – “Eat My Shit” Match Florence has been eating cheese non-stop for two weeks and is completely constipated. She physically can’t shit, so she can’t win the match. We make her look completely inept and stupid while Kristen Bell looks dominant and strong. This one’s meant to be embarrassing for Florence and a big win for Kristen.
Tag Match: The iCarlys (Jennette & Miranda) vs Boxxy & Anya Taylor-Joy Anya once again leaves Boxxy for dead like a coward. JoJo Siwa makes the save for Boxxy, fights off the iCarlys, then turns around and beats the shit out of Anya as payback for leaving Boxxy laying.
Segment: Pam Beesly makes her debut. She comes out, mocks the audience, and says she can beat anyone in CBWL before making an open challenge. Mila Kunis’ music hits and she comes out through the crowd. Mila beats Pam decisively, then cuts a nasty promo on her while she’s being stretchered out — calling her an “ugly old bitch” and bragging about fucking Jim.
Opening Segment: Mariska Hargitay opens the show. She thanks the fans for sticking with CBWL despite the stigma, strokes their ego a bit, warns the competition that we’re coming for ratings and bigger contracts, and then announces that in the coming weeks we’ll be running a tournament to crown the first-ever CBWL Champion.
Cowboy looked around the table after laying it out.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s the direction I’m feeling for Sunday. Main event is Taylor vs Emma with Emma turning and going over. Co-main is Kristen vs Florence in that stupid shit match. We’ve got the iCarlys vs Boxxy & Anya with JoJo getting involved, Pam Beesly debuting and getting squashed by Mila, and Mariska kicking the show off with the tournament announcement.”
He looked at Jim Ross.
Cowboy Watts: “Now that we’ve got a clearer picture of what we’re doing in Atlanta… how do we work backwards and build Charlotte around it?”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “Exactly. Now that we know the direction for Sunday, we can start planting seeds on Friday. We don’t have to pay everything off in Charlotte, but we should at least start moving pieces into place.”
Joan Rivers: “I think we should add at least one more match to the card. It’s a pay-per-view. Right now it feels a little light, and we’ve got enough bodies on the roster that we can fill it out. Plus, we can use Friday’s show in Charlotte to actually start building whatever we add.”
Sarah Palin nodded in agreement.
Sarah Palin: “I agree. A PPV should feel bigger than a regular TV show. If we only have five matches, it’s going to feel thin. We can use the go-home show to introduce or build something new instead of just doing follow-ups to last week’s angles.”
Cowboy nodded slowly, thinking it over.
Cowboy Watts: “Fair. We’ve got enough people floating around that we can add something without stretching ourselves too thin. What are we thinking for the extra match?”
Jim Ross leaned forward slightly.
Jim Ross: “If we’re adding something, we should probably make it mean something. Either it sets up future storylines after the PPV, or it gives someone a real push. We don’t want to just throw a random match on there for the sake of having more matches.”
Joan Rivers shrugged.
Joan Rivers: “Could be anything right now. We’ve got people like Pam Beesly debuting, JoJo Siwa getting involved with Boxxy, and we still haven’t done much with some of the other girls. We could do another tag match, a singles match to give someone a win, or even start something new entirely. Either way, we’ve got Friday to start building it.”
Bill Parcells grunted.
Bill Parcells: “As long as it’s not another stupid comedy match like the cheese shit. We already have one of those. If we’re adding something, it should at least feel like it matters.”
Joan Rivers: “What about Rebel Wilson? She hasn’t been on TV in a while. We could bring her in and give her a real program. Pair her with someone new.”
Sarah Palin nodded.
Sarah Palin: “Yeah. We haven’t touched her in weeks. If we’re adding another match to the PPV, she’s a fresh name we can actually build something with.”
Bill Parcells leaned forward.
Bill Parcells: “Who are we putting her with though? We need someone who can actually work with her and make it feel like a real feud.”
Jim Ross flipped through his notes for a moment.
Jim Ross: “What about Chrissy Metz? She’s never been used on the show. She’s a legitimate 300-pounder, she’s got presence, and she hasn’t been on TV at all. We could bring her in as Rebel’s opponent.”
Joan Rivers raised an eyebrow.
Joan Rivers: “Rebel vs Chrissy? That’s two big girls going at it. We could make Rebel the nasty, loud, shameless one and bring Chrissy in as someone who actually stands up to her. Could work.”
Sarah Palin nodded slowly.
Sarah Palin: “It gives us something different. We’ve been doing a lot of mean, nasty stuff lately. Two bigger women going at each other could stand out. Plus neither of them were on the last show or are currently planned for anything.”
Cowboy Watts looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “So we’re saying Rebel Wilson vs Chrissy Metz on the PPV? We bring Chrissy in on Friday in Charlotte and start something between them?”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “Yeah. We can have Rebel come out and run her mouth, then Chrissy makes her debut and stands up to her. Gives us something new to build toward Atlanta without stepping on anything we’re already doing with Emma, Mila, or the other stuff.”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair and nodded.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. Let’s run with it. Rebel Wilson vs Chrissy Metz added to the PPV. We’ll start it on Friday in Charlotte and finish it in Atlanta. Now we just need to figure out how we actually kick it off this week.”
Sarah Palin: “What if we do a ‘fat and proud’ thing that backfires?”
Everyone looked over at her.
Sarah Palin: “We bring Chrissy out first and have her do this whole confident, body-positive promo. She talks about how she’s proud of who she is, how she’s not ashamed of her size, all that kind of stuff. Then Rebel comes out and completely tears her down. Makes fun of her for it, calls her delusional, says nobody actually wants to see that shit. Turns the whole ‘fat and proud’ thing against her and makes Chrissy look stupid for even trying.”
Joan Rivers nodded slowly, a small smirk on her face.
Joan Rivers: “That could work. Rebel’s already positioned as the nasty, shameless fat bitch. If Chrissy comes out acting proud and positive, Rebel can rip that apart and make her look weak and delusional. It gives Rebel instant heat and gives Chrissy a reason to want to fight back.”
Bill Parcells grunted.
Bill Parcells: “It’s simple. We don’t have to overcomplicate it. Rebel shuts down the ‘fat and proud’ bullshit and makes Chrissy look like an idiot for even trying it. Then we run the match at the PPV.”
Jim Ross looked over at Cowboy.
Jim Ross: “It’s not a bad idea. It’s easy to do on Friday, it gives us a clear dynamic between the two of them, and it doesn’t step on anything else we’re already doing. We can have Chrissy come out, do her thing, and then Rebel comes out and buries her.”
Cowboy nodded, writing it down.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. So we bring Chrissy out on Friday, she does the fat and proud promo, Rebel comes out and shuts it down hard. That sets up the match for Atlanta. Simple and effective.”
Joan Rivers leaned forward after Sarah pitched the “fat and proud” idea.
Joan Rivers: “I like the fat and proud thing backfiring, but we should go deeper with Rebel. Instead of just making her a generic nasty fat bitch, what if we play into her being delusional about her own size?”
The table went quiet for a second as everyone looked at her.
Joan Rivers: “Either she genuinely doesn’t realize she’s just as fat as Chrissy, or — and I think this one’s more interesting — she knows she’s a fat cunt too, but she’s so self-hating about it that she tries to tear Chrissy down even harder. Like she’s projecting. She humiliates herself and degrades herself in the process, thinking that if she’s loud and mean enough about someone else being fat, the fans will side with her instead.”
Sarah Palin tilted her head, thinking it over.
Sarah Palin: “So Rebel’s not just a bully… she’s insecure as fuck and using Chrissy as a punching bag to feel better about herself?”
Joan Rivers: “Exactly. She can be vicious, but there’s this pathetic, self-loathing layer underneath it. She knows she’s a fat bitch too, so she goes twice as hard on Chrissy to try and deflect it. It makes her more interesting than just another loudmouth heel. The fans might even start feeling a little bad for her at some point, even while they hate her.”
Jim Ross nodded slowly.
Jim Ross: “It gives Rebel more depth. If we play her as someone who’s deeply insecure about her own body and takes it out on Chrissy, it makes their dynamic more layered. Rebel can be cruel, but there’s a sad, pathetic edge to it.”
Bill Parcells grunted.
Bill Parcells: “As long as we don’t make her too sympathetic too fast. She can be a self-hating mess, but she still needs to be a bitch. We can always soften her up later if we want.”
Cowboy Watts looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “So we’re saying Rebel knows she’s a fat cunt too, and she’s so self-hating about it that she tries to tear Chrissy down even harder to make herself feel better?”
Joan Rivers: “Yeah. She can be loud, nasty, and degrading, but every time she talks shit about Chrissy, it’s also low-key about herself. That kind of self-destructive energy can be really interesting if we play it right.”
Cowboy nodded and wrote it down.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. So on Friday we have Chrissy come out and do the fat and proud thing. Rebel comes out and shuts it down hard, but we play her as someone who’s clearly projecting her own self-hatred. That sets up the match for Atlanta.”
He looked around the table again.
Cowboy Watts: “Anyone against that direction?”
Joan Rivers: “So we’re all on the same page then. Chrissy comes out fat and proud on Friday, Rebel shuts it down and projects all her self-hatred onto her. We run it back at the PPV.”
Everyone around the table nodded or gave quiet sounds of agreement.
Jim Ross: “Alright. Before we go any further with this or anything else, I think we should wait until Tony, Arnold, and Elena get back. We’ve already sent them out on stuff, and it doesn’t make sense to keep making decisions without them in the room.”
Cowboy Watts nodded.
Cowboy Watts: “Fair. We’ve covered enough for tonight anyway.”
Jim Ross stood up and started gathering his things.
Jim Ross: “Then let’s just call it for the night. We’ll reconvene once everyone’s back and we have a better idea of what’s going on with Emma, Wendy, and the Sterling situation.”
One by one, the remaining people started getting up from the table. Joan Rivers stubbed out her cigarette, Bill Parcells pushed his chair in without a word, and Sarah Palin followed behind them as they headed out of the office. Within a few minutes, the room had cleared out.
Cowboy stayed behind for a moment, staring at the notes he’d scribbled on his pad before eventually standing up and turning the lights off on his way out.
The booking meeting has ended for the night.
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