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Wednesday, June 10, 2026

CBWL 037

 LIVE EVENT MODE – Gas South Arena, Duluth, Georgia

Doors are closed. The building is sitting at 5,187 in attendance. In a venue built for over 12,000, the empty seats are obvious — especially in the upper levels and corners. The energy is curious but not hot. People are still settling in, some already on their phones.

The house lights cut to black.

A loud, heavy pyro sequence explodes from the stage — multiple bursts of white and gold flames shooting high into the air, the sound cracking through the arena. The crowd reacts with a decent pop as the lights stay down.

The big screens come alive with a Sterling Marlin tribute graphic.

It opens on old footage of Sterling in the ring from years ago, then cuts to more recent shots of him with the crew. A simple, clean graphic appears over the footage:

“IN MEMORY OF THE WORK” Sterling Marlin Weeks ago, Sterling was involved in a serious accident while bringing equipment to this building. As a result, tonight’s show will look different than planned. We appreciate your patience and understanding.

The graphic fades out.

The arena stays dark for a beat.

Then the opening pyro hits again — even louder this time — as Taylor Swift steps out onto the stage.

She’s in the tight white latex jumpsuit, the material shining under the lights, with “DRIVE ME STERLING” stretched across the back in bold lettering. The spotlight follows her as she walks down the ramp with that signature deliberate pace, hips swaying, letting the moment breathe. The crowd reaction is solid — better than before — a mix of cheers, whistles, and phones coming out.

She steps through the ropes (laid out flat as part of the large spray-painted circle on the floor) and walks to the center. A stagehand hands her a microphone. She takes it, waits for the noise to settle, and brings it to her mouth.

Taylor Swift: “First of all… I just want to take a second and talk about something that’s been on my mind.”

The crowd quiets down.

Taylor Swift: “A few weeks ago, Sterling Marlin was in a really bad car accident. A lot of you already know that. What some of you might not know is that he was bringing the ring with him that night. That’s why we don’t have one here tonight.”

She looks around the building, taking in the empty seats without commenting on them.

Taylor Swift: “I was supposed to come out here and do what I usually do… but after everything that’s happened, it didn’t feel right to just pretend like this is a normal night. So I’m gonna keep this short and say what I actually want to say.”

She shifts her stance slightly, the latex creaking.

Taylor Swift: “Sterling… if you’re watching this right now, I just want you to know that we’re thinking about you. All of us. And I hope you’re okay.”

She pauses for a second, then lets a small, knowing smirk form.

Taylor Swift: “And I hope you like what I’m wearing tonight.”

She turns just enough to show off the back of the jumpsuit again. A louder reaction rolls through the crowd this time — cheers, laughter, and a few loud whistles. Taylor lets it land, then turns back to face the hard camera.

Taylor Swift: “Hope you like it, Sterling.”

She lowers the mic slightly but doesn’t walk away. She stays in the center of the circle, looking out at the crowd like she’s waiting for something — or someone — to tell her what’s next.

The lights stay low on her as the crowd reaction continues to roll.

Taylor is still standing in the center of the spray-painted circle, mic in hand, having just finished her short tribute to Sterling. The crowd reaction has started to die down, and there’s a slight awkward pause in the air — not dead, but not hot either.

Backstage:

Cowboy Watts is standing near the gorilla position with an earpiece in, watching the monitors. He speaks calmly but firmly into the mic.

Cowboy Watts: Arnold, you got her?

Arnold Palmer: (through the earpiece, already moving) Yeah, I got her. What do you need?

Cowboy Watts: Tell her to stay out there. Stall. Have her shake her ass for the hard cam so they can really see the “DRIVE ME STERLING” on it. And tell her to play it up like Sterling’s watching from the hospital bed. Then have her do “The Locomotion.” We’ll ride the crowd reaction out of the segment.

Arnold Palmer: Got it.


In the ring:

Taylor is still standing there when one of the producers quickly steps through the ropes and walks up to her. He leans in and quietly relays the instructions in her ear.

Taylor listens, nods once, then brings the mic back up with a small smile, like she’s deciding to have a little fun with it.

Taylor Swift: You know what… since we’re all here, and since Sterling’s probably laid up in that hospital bed watching right now…

She turns slightly, looking over her shoulder toward the hard camera, and gives her ass a slow, deliberate shake — just enough for the stitching on the back of the jumpsuit to be clearly visible.

Taylor Swift: Hope you’re getting a good look, Sterling.

The crowd reacts with a loud mix of cheers, laughter, and whistles. Taylor grins, clearly leaning into it now.

Taylor Swift: Since we’re already doing this… how about we give him something to really smile about?

She lowers the mic for a second, then starts singing — a cappella at first, then motioning for the sound guy to hit the track.

The familiar beat of “The Locomotion” kicks in over the speakers.

Taylor Swift: (singing, playful and energetic) Everybody’s doin’ a brand new dance now… Come on baby, do the locomotion…

She starts doing the dance right there in the middle of the circle — simple, fun, exaggerated movements, shaking her hips and moving her arms as she sings along with the track. The crowd starts clapping and singing along with her. It’s light, it’s fun, and it’s working. The energy in the building picks up noticeably.

Taylor keeps performing the song, feeding off the crowd, really selling it like she’s doing it just for Sterling. She’s smiling, laughing a little between lines, and making sure to hit the choreography in a way that keeps the back of the jumpsuit visible to the hard cam.

After the final chorus, she lets the music fade out and brings the mic back up, breathing a little heavier but still smiling.

Taylor Swift: That one’s for you, Sterling. Feel better soon.

She lowers the mic and stands there in the circle, still smiling as the crowd continues to react — clapping, cheering, and chanting her name. She doesn’t walk off. She just stands there, waiting, like she’s expecting something else to happen.

The camera stays tight on Taylor Swift’s ass as she continues lightly moving to the fading music — the sweat making the white latex cling even tighter, the black “DRIVE ME STERLING” lettering clearly visible. The shot holds for a few seconds before cutting to black.

The screen fades in on Mariska Hargitay’s office.

Mariska is standing behind her desk with her arms crossed, looking genuinely pissed. Sitting and standing in front of her are the four women who showed up unbooked: Boxxy, Jennette McCurdy, Miranda Cosgrove, and Anya Taylor-Joy.

Mariska Hargitay: (sharp, no-nonsense) Do you four have any idea how badly you fucked this up?

The room is quiet for a second. Jennette already looks over it. Miranda looks tense. Boxxy shifts in her seat like she’s about to say something. Anya stays quiet, just watching.

Mariska Hargitay: I made it very clear — multiple times — that unbooked talent weren’t supposed to be in the building tonight. And what did you do? You walked in like this was some kind of open call. Like we needed the extra bodies.

She leans forward on the desk.

Mariska Hargitay: Now I’ve got Cowboy on my ass, the show’s already running behind, and I have to fix your mistake by making room for you on the card. So here’s what’s happening.

She looks at all four of them.

Mariska Hargitay: You’re in a tag match tonight. Jennette and Miranda, you two are a team. Boxxy and Anya, you’re the other team.

Jennette McCurdy: (dry, sarcastic) Great. Can’t wait.

Miranda Cosgrove: (carefully) …What kind of match is it?

Mariska Hargitay: (flat) Escape the stall. Inside the handicap bathroom. First team to get both members out of that stall wins. And before any of you start thinking this is some cute little angle — this is happening exactly where you think it’s happening.

She lets that sit for a second before continuing.

Mariska Hargitay: Since you decided to show up without being asked, this is your punishment. You wanted to be here so bad? Now you’re on the show. And if any of you go into business for yourselves out there, I promise you it’ll be a lot worse than a bathroom stall.

Boxxy: (defensive, loud) Wait, that’s not even fair though—

Mariska Hargitay: (cutting her off, firm) I’m not asking. This is what you get for not following instructions. Now get the fuck out of my office and go get ready.

She looks at all four of them one last time.

Mariska Hargitay: And just so we’re clear… your match? Is next.

She sits down at her desk like the conversation is over.

The four women start getting up. Jennette rolls her eyes as she stands. Miranda looks stressed. Boxxy looks pissed. Anya stays quiet but her jaw is tight as they head for the door.

The camera lingers on Mariska for a second as she picks up her phone, already moving on.

Fade to commercial.

The show fades back in from commercial.

We’re in the dimly lit hallway outside the handicap bathroom stall. Security has cleared the area. A referee and two medical staff members are standing nearby. The camera is positioned to catch both the inside and outside of the stall.

Inside the stall, the four women are already locked in.

Jennette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove are on one side. Boxxy and Anya Taylor-Joy are on the other. The door is shut and locked from the inside.

A stagehand outside starts the count.

Stagehand: Five… four… three… two… one… Go!

The bell rings.


Inside the stall, it’s immediate chaos.

Jennette grabs Anya by the hair and slams her head into the side of the stall wall. Miranda goes right after Boxxy, shoving her hard into the toilet. Boxxy tries to fight back, throwing wild punches and elbows, but she’s in a bad spot from the jump.

Boxxy: (panicking, struggling) Get the fuck off me—!

Miranda Cosgrove: (gritting her teeth, holding her down) Shut up and stay still!

Anya manages to create some space and starts climbing the stall wall, using the top of the partition to pull herself up. Jennette grabs her leg and yanks hard, trying to drag her back down.

Jennette McCurdy: (yelling) Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!

Anya kicks her off and finally gets over the top. She drops down on the other side of the stall, officially escaping first.

The crowd pops.

But the bell doesn’t ring.

Anya stands outside the stall, breathing hard, looking confused as to why the match hasn’t been stopped.

Anya Taylor-Joy: (quiet, confused) …What the fuck?

Inside the stall, Jennette and Miranda immediately turn their full attention to Boxxy, who is now trapped in there alone with both of them.

Boxxy: (desperate, realizing she’s alone) Anya?! Anya, what the fuck?! Get back in here!

She tries to fight, but Jennette grabs her by the back of the head and violently shoves her face-first into the toilet. Miranda helps hold her down, keeping her there.

Boxxy’s legs kick and thrash as she struggles. The sound of splashing water and muffled choking can be heard from inside the stall. She’s fighting hard, but she’s losing.

Boxxy: (muffled, desperate) Get off—! Stop—!

Jennette and Miranda don’t let up. They keep her head submerged until her struggling starts to slow down. Eventually, her body goes limp.

Right then, the medical staff breaks protocol. One of the doctors quickly unlocks the stall door and rushes in with another staff member.

In one smooth motion, Jennette and Miranda slip right past the doctors as they’re entering the stall. They don’t run. They don’t panic. They just casually walk out of the bathroom like they’re done with their shift.

The second they clear the doorway, the bell rings.

DING DING DING.

Inside the stall, the doctors are now giving Boxxy CPR as she lies on the floor with her head near the toilet. The camera stays on the scene as they work on her.

Outside in the hallway, Anya Taylor-Joy is still standing there. She didn’t go back in to help. She just watches from a few feet away as medical tends to Boxxy, looking lost and unsure of what just happened.

The crowd reaction is loud and mixed — some people are booing heavily, others are yelling “What the fuck?!” and “She left her!”

The camera cuts to a quiet backstage hallway. Emma Watson is walking through when she spots Hilary Duff standing near a production table, stretching out her shoulders.

Emma slows down as she approaches.

Emma Watson: Hey.

Hilary Duff: (looking over, nodding) Hey.

There’s a short pause. Emma leans against the wall across from her.

Emma Watson: You ready for this?

Hilary Duff: (shrugging slightly) As ready as I’m gonna be. Been a weird night, but… I’m not here to complain about it. I just wanna go out there and wrestle.

Emma Watson: (nodding) Yeah. Same. I know things haven’t gone exactly how anyone planned tonight, but I still want to have a real match. Not some half-assed thing where we’re just going through the motions.

Hilary Duff: (looking at her directly) Good. Because I’m not in the mood to do that either. If we’re doing this, I want it to actually mean something. I want to go out there and wrestle like it matters.

Emma studies her for a second, then gives a small, genuine smile.

Emma Watson: That’s all I want too. I’ve got a lot of respect for what you bring. You’ve been doing this a long time. I don’t want to waste that.

Hilary Duff: (after a beat) Appreciate that. And I know you’re not just here to collect a check either. So let’s not make this some bullshit “respect” match where we hug it out and call it a day. Let’s actually go out there and have a match.

Emma Watson: (nodding firmly) Deal.

Hilary pushes off the table and starts walking past her, but stops for one last thing.

Hilary Duff: Just don’t hold back. I’m not gonna.

Emma Watson: I wasn’t planning on it.

Hilary gives her one last look, then keeps walking down the hallway. Emma watches her go for a second before heading in the opposite direction.

The show fades back in from commercial.

We cut to a backstage interview area. Florence Pugh is standing in front of the CBWL backdrop, casually leaning against a production crate while aggressively eating a big brick of cheese like it’s a sandwich. She’s already made serious progress on it.

Wendy Williams walks into frame with a mic, immediately clocking what Florence is doing.

Wendy Williams: Girl… what the hell are you doing?

Florence Pugh: (mouth half full, looking up) Eating cheese?

Wendy Williams: (staring at her like she’s stupid) No shit you’re eating cheese. I’m asking why you’re out here inhaling a whole brick of it like it’s your last meal on death row. You do know you’re supposed to be making your debut next week, right?

Florence Pugh: (chewing) Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m eating now. I’m hungry.

Wendy Williams: (squinting) You’re hungry… so you decided to eat an entire block of cheese backstage? On the night before your first match? You trying to show up constipated next week or something?

Florence Pugh: (pausing mid-bite, then shrugging) I mean… I didn’t really think that far ahead. It was just sitting there and it looked good.

Wendy Williams: (laughing in disbelief) It looked good? Florence, you’re out here stress-eating dairy like it’s going out of style and you don’t even have a match tonight. What are you gonna do if they put you in one of them nasty matches next week? You gonna be in there all stopped up?

Florence Pugh: (still chewing, unfazed) I’ll figure it out if it happens. I’m not really the type to plan ahead like that.

Wendy Williams: (staring at her) You really are just out here winging it, huh?

Florence Pugh: (nodding) Pretty much. I just showed up, they gave me some cheese, and now I’m eating it. That’s about as far as my plan went.

Wendy Williams: (shaking her head) Lord have mercy. Well, good luck next week, girl. Try not to be too backed up when they throw you in whatever disgusting shit they got planned for you.

Florence Pugh: (giving a small, awkward smile while still holding the cheese) Thanks… I think.

Wendy gives her one last judgmental look before turning to the camera.

Wendy Williams: This one right here… y’all better keep an eye on her next week.

The show fades back in from commercial.

We open cold on the concession stand area in the concourse. Laura Prepon is already standing there in her gear, looking around like she’s waiting for her opponent. She checks her wrist tape, shifts her weight, and glances around the area, clearly unsure why she’s been sent here.

After a few seconds, Mila Kunis walks into frame from the side hallway. She doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t even acknowledge Laura at first. She just walks straight up to her and, without warning, slaps her hard across the face.

The sound cracks through the concourse.

Laura stumbles back, shocked. Before she can react, Mila grabs her by the hair and slams her face-first into the metal counter. Laura drops to a knee as Mila immediately starts stomping her.

Mila Kunis: (cold, almost casual) You really thought this was gonna be a regular match?

She grabs Laura by the back of the head and drags her along the concession stand, knocking over cups and trays. Mila then yanks her up and throws her into a stack of boxes, sending everything crashing down.

Laura tries to fight back, landing a couple of wild punches, but Mila eats them and fires back harder. She knees Laura in the stomach, then grabs her and shoves her toward the deep fryer station. Laura’s hands slap against the hot metal as she tries to stay on her feet.

Mila grabs a metal basket and swings it, cracking Laura across the back. She then shoves Laura’s arm toward the fryer. Hot oil splashes up and lands on Laura’s shoulder and side of her face. Laura screams and pulls away, clutching her arm as Mila keeps the pressure on.

Laura Prepon: (in pain) Fuck—!

Mila doesn’t let up. She grabs Laura by the hair again and slams her head into the side of the fryer, then throws her down onto the greasy floor. Laura tries to crawl away, but Mila stomps her in the back and keeps her down.

Mila looks around, spots a big container of nacho cheese, and dumps it all over Laura’s head and back. The thick orange cheese pours down her face and gear as the crowd reacts with a mix of disgust and laughter.

Mila Kunis: (smirking) Look at you.

She grabs Laura by the waistband of her pants and yanks them down in one rough motion, exposing a pair of plain, high-waisted granny panties. The camera zooms in as Laura tries to cover herself, clearly embarrassed. Mila stands over her and laughs.

Mila Kunis: This is what you get for showing up like you belonged here.

Laura tries to pull her pants back up, but Mila stomps her hand and keeps her down. She then grabs Laura by the hair one more time and drags her back toward the deep fryer area. She shoves Laura’s face close to the hot oil again, threatening to dunk her before pulling her back at the last second.

Laura is clearly out of it now — covered in cheese, pants around her ankles, breathing hard.

Mila finally decides she’s had enough. She pulls Laura up one last time, sets her up, and hits her finisher (a hard spinning heel kick to the head). Laura drops.

Mila drops down and hooks the leg.

Referee: One! Two! Three!

DING DING DING.

Mila gets to her feet and stands over Laura, looking down at her with clear disdain as the referee raises her hand. Laura lies on the floor in a mess of cheese, oil, and shame while Mila just smirks at the camera before walking off.

The show fades back in from commercial.

The arena lights dim as the big screens light up with a simple graphic:

“JOJO SIWA – UPDATE”

A pre-taped video begins to play.

It opens with older footage of JoJo Siwa from a few months ago — smiling big, full of energy, dancing and talking excitedly to the camera in her usual over-the-top style. The footage then cuts to more recent clips of her looking noticeably quieter and more tired, sitting in what appears to be a medical or recovery room.

JoJo’s voice plays over the images:

JoJo Siwa (Voiceover): “Hey everyone… I know a lot of you have been wondering where I’ve been and how I’m doing. I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff lately and it’s been pretty hard. I’m not gonna lie — it’s been one of the toughest times I’ve had in a while.”

The video cuts to a shot of her sitting on a couch, looking directly into the camera. She’s still trying to smile, but it’s much softer and more subdued than her usual self.

JoJo Siwa: “I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who’s been reaching out and checking on me. It really does mean a lot. I’m working on getting better every day, but I’m just not ready to come back yet. I miss being out there with all of you. I miss the energy, the dancing, the crowds… all of it.”

She pauses for a second, then continues.

JoJo Siwa: “I’m gonna keep working and hopefully I’ll be back soon. I just wanted to let you all know that I’m okay… or at least I’m getting there. Thank you again for all the love and support. It really helps.”

The video ends on a shot of her giving a small wave and a tired smile before fading out.

The arena lights come back up as the crowd reacts. There’s a decent amount of applause and some “aww”s, but there are also scattered laughs and indifferent reactions from parts of the audience who clearly aren’t buying into the sympathy video.

The show fades back in from commercial.

We cut to a small production area backstage where several referees are standing around. Larry David (Head Referee), Jack Black, Sarah Silverman, and Urkel (Jaleel White) are all present.

Larry is holding a small piece of paper with the main event written on it.

Larry David: (annoyed, looking around) Alright, listen up. One of you is getting the main event tonight. Emma and Hilary. I’m not doing it. I already worked the bathroom stall match and I’m not going back out there for another one. So we’re doing this the old-fashioned way.

He holds up his fist.

Larry David: Rock, paper, scissors. Best of one. Loser gets the main event. Let’s go.

The four of them put their fists out.

Larry David: One… two… three… shoot!

  • Larry David throws Rock
  • Jack Black throws Paper
  • Sarah Silverman throws Scissors
  • Urkel throws Rock

Jack wins with Paper. Sarah wins with Scissors. Larry and Urkel both lose with Rock.

Jack Black: (grinning) Hell yeah! Not it!

Sarah Silverman: (smirking) Sucks to suck.

Larry David: (staring at Urkel) …You.

Urkel: (looking around nervously) Wait… me?

Larry David: (deadpan) Yeah, you. You lost. You’re reffing the main event.

Urkel: (panicking slightly) But I— I don’t even have my glasses on right now! What if I mess up the count?!

Jack Black: (laughing) Then don’t mess it up, Urkel. It’s the main event. No pressure.

Sarah Silverman: (patting Urkel on the back) Have fun out there, champ. Try not to get involved in whatever the hell they’re doing tonight.

Urkel: (muttering as he walks off) This is how I die…

Larry just shakes his head as Urkel leaves.

Larry David: (to the others) See? That’s how you handle these things. Democracy.

The house lights dim as the show returns from commercial.

A simple graphic hits the screens:

MAIN EVENT Emma Watson vs Hilary Duff

The crowd gives a decent reaction — not huge, but solid for the half-empty building.


Hilary Duff’s Entrance

Hilary’s music hits. She walks out with a focused, no-nonsense look on her face. She’s not playing to the crowd much — she just walks straight down the ramp, climbs through the ropes (laid flat as part of the large spray-painted circle), and heads straight to her corner. She bounces on her feet a couple times and stares across the circle, already locked in.


Emma Watson’s Entrance

Emma’s music plays next. She comes out looking calm but clearly a little nervous. She walks down the ramp with her head up, trying to look confident. When she steps through the ropes and into the circle, she glances around at the mostly empty seats for a split second before turning her attention to Hilary.

Both women stand on opposite sides of the big spray-painted circle. The referee (Urkel) checks them both quickly and calls for the bell.

DING DING DING.

The match starts.


Right as they’re about to lock up, Mariska Hargitay’s music hits.

The crowd reacts as she walks out onto the stage with a microphone in hand. She’s dressed sharply, looking very much like the on-screen authority figure. She walks down to the circle slowly, taking her time.

Emma and Hilary both stop and look at her, confused.

Mariska steps into the circle and raises the mic.

Mariska Hargitay: Hold on.

She looks at both women, then turns toward the entrance ramp and makes a hand signal.

A few seconds later, several agents and production crew members come down carrying tools. They walk straight to the center of the circle and start pulling up a square section of the plywood that had been covering the ice.

Once it’s removed, a thick layer of dry ice is revealed underneath. Thick white smoke immediately begins rising from the center of the circle. The crowd reacts with a mix of “oohs” and confused murmurs.

Mariska lowers the mic and speaks directly to Emma and Hilary.

Mariska Hargitay: There. Now you’ve got something to work with.

She drops the mic and walks out of the circle without another word, heading back up the ramp as the smoke continues to rise from the center.

Emma and Hilary both look down at the smoking ice patch, then at each other. Neither of them looks thrilled, but they don’t have time to argue about it.

The referee waves them on.

They slowly circle each other inside the big spray-painted ring. The crowd is quiet, watching.

Emma and Hilary finally lock up in the center. It’s stiff and a little awkward — two untrained women trying to wrestle on a hard plywood surface. They push and pull for a few seconds before Hilary breaks the lockup and shoves Emma backward. Emma stumbles but stays on her feet.

Hilary moves in and grabs Emma in a headlock. Emma fights out of it and pushes Hilary into the ropes (which are just laid on the floor). When Hilary comes back, Emma catches her with a basic shoulder tackle. Hilary goes down but gets right back up.

The two women continue trading basic holds and strikes, both clearly trying to feel each other out while also trying not to look completely lost on the hard surface. Every bump sounds loud and flat against the plywood.

Emma shoots in for a takedown and gets Hilary down, but Hilary reverses it and ends up on top. They scramble on the floor for a moment before both getting back to their feet.

The match is even so far — 50/50.

The show returns from commercial.

The match picks up with Hilary Duff in control. She has Emma Watson down on the plywood and is working her over with basic but effective submission holds. Hilary has wrapped Emma up in a body scissors, squeezing tight while Emma tries to fight out of it. Every time Emma tries to power out, Hilary adjusts and cranks it harder.

Hilary’s thick ass and thighs are on full display as she squeezes — noticeably fatter and softer compared to Emma’s more toned frame. Every time Hilary shifts or adjusts her grip, her ass jiggles heavily against the hard plywood.

Hilary Duff: (gritting her teeth, low) Stay down…

Emma fights her way out of the body scissors and gets back to her feet, but Hilary stays on her. She grabs Emma and locks in a headlock, dragging her around the circle while grinding the hold in. Every few seconds, Hilary starts dragging Emma closer to the exposed dry ice in the center, teasing that she’s going to dump her on it.

Emma fights out of the headlock and shoves Hilary off her. For a moment she gets some momentum — landing a few stiff forearms and a sloppy but effective clothesline that takes Hilary down. The crowd gives her a small reaction as she tries to build some fire.

But Hilary cuts her off quickly. She catches Emma coming in and locks her into a tight abdominal stretch, really wrenching it. Emma’s face twists in pain as Hilary leans into the hold, keeping her trapped near the edge of the ice patch.

Hilary Duff: (quietly, while wrenching the hold) You feel that? I can put you right on it.

Emma fights out of the stretch and reverses it, spinning Hilary around and muscling her toward the center. She manages to trip Hilary up and sends her stumbling backward — right onto the exposed dry ice.

The second Hilary’s back and ass hit the ice, her whole body reacts.

Hilary Duff: (screaming, high-pitched and uncontrolled) AHHH— FUCK!!

She immediately starts thrashing, trying to get off the ice as fast as possible. The chemical burn is instant and vicious. Hilary’s face is twisted in real pain as she rolls off the patch, clutching at her back and ass.

Emma sees the opening and takes it. She grabs Hilary and hits a series of basic but stiff strikes, trying to keep control. She even manages a sloppy but hard suplex, sending Hilary back down near the ice again. Emma’s clearly trying to build something, but she’s moving slower now too — the earlier submissions have taken a toll.

Hilary fights back through the pain. She grabs Emma and, with visible effort, lifts her up and hits a sidewalk slam, driving Emma’s back and side directly onto the dry ice patch.

Both women scream.

Hilary Duff: (yelling in pain) Shit!!

Emma Watson: (screaming) Fuck—!!

Emma rolls off the ice holding her side, clearly burned. Hilary is also hurting badly now, breathing heavy and moving slower. The ice is visibly doing damage to both of them.

Hilary grabs Emma again, looking like she’s trying to set something up. She gets Emma in position for what looks like a power move, but as she’s lifting her, she suddenly hesitates. It looks sloppy — like she lost her grip or forgot what she was doing mid-spot.

Hilary Duff: (strained, trying to hold Emma up) Emma… I can’t—

Before she can finish, Emma reverses it. She slips out of Hilary’s grip, grabs her, and in one stiff, selfish motion drives her hard with her finisher directly onto the dry ice patch.

The impact is nasty.

Hilary Duff: (screaming, raw and uncontrolled) AHHHHHH— FUCK!! OH MY GOD!!

Hilary’s whole body reacts violently. She thrashes on the ice, screaming in real pain as the chemical burn hits her back and ass hard. She’s clearly not selling — she’s actually hurting.

Hilary Duff: (screaming, voice cracking) Get me off it!! Get me the fuck off it!!

Emma doesn’t check on her. She just drops down and hooks the leg tight.

Referee: One! Two! Three!

DING DING DING.

Emma stays on her knees for a moment, breathing hard and clearly in pain herself from the ice. She eventually gets to her feet as the referee raises her hand. Hilary is still down on the ice, writhing and holding her back as medical staff rushes out to check on her.

The crowd reaction is loud and uneasy — some people are cheering Emma’s win, but a lot of the noise is confused and concerned because of how real Hilary’s screaming sounded when she hit the ice.


End of Main Event.

This version makes the spot look like a genuine botch on Hilary’s part (she lost the power move and Emma just took over), while still protecting that Emma went into business for herself at the end. Hilary’s screaming is now much more visceral and panicked.

The bell has already rung. Emma Watson is still standing in the center of the circle as the referee raises her hand. She looks exhausted and clearly in pain, but she keeps her arm up as the crowd gives a mixed reaction — some cheers, some scattered boos, and a lot of confused noise from the half-empty building.

Hilary Duff is still down on the dry ice patch, visibly hurt. Medical staff is already with her, checking her back and trying to get her off the ice as carefully as possible. Hilary is moving slowly and grimacing in real pain.

Emma glances over at Hilary and the medical team for a second, then turns and walks out of the circle without saying anything. She heads up the ramp alone as the crowd continues to react.

The big screens light up with a simple graphic:

THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING CBWL Friday Night Filth

There’s no big pyro. No final celebration. No post-match angle. The lights stay at a low level as people start getting up from their seats and heading for the exits. The building feels even emptier now that the show is over.

In the ring area, the medical staff is still helping Hilary to her feet. She’s moving stiffly and holding her back as they walk her out through a side curtain.

The show ends with the sound of the crowd leaving and the low hum of the arena lights coming back up.

The show is over. Most of the crowd has cleared out and the building is quieting down. Cowboy Watts is standing near the loading dock area with a cigarette in his hand when two of the medical staff members approach him.

One of the doctors, a middle-aged man still in his scrubs, speaks first.

Doctor: Cowboy. Got the reports from tonight.

Cowboy takes a drag and nods for him to continue.

Doctor: Hilary Duff took the worst of it. She got significant chemical burns on her lower back, ass, and the back of her thighs from the dry ice. It’s pretty bad in a couple spots. We treated it on site but she’s gonna need proper burn care for the next week or two. She was in a lot of pain when we got to her.

Cowboy exhales smoke and rubs his face.

Cowboy Watts: Fuck. How bad we talking?

Doctor: Bad enough that she was screaming for real out there. Second-degree burns in a couple places. She’s lucky it wasn’t worse, but she’s not gonna be moving right for a while.

The second doctor chimes in.

Doctor 2: Emma Watson got burned too, but not as bad. She took some on her side and lower back when Hilary slammed her. It’s mostly first-degree with a couple spots that might blister. She’s in pain but she’s walking fine. We gave her some cream and told her to keep it clean.

Cowboy Watts: (grumbling) Jesus Christ… I knew that ice was gonna be nasty but I didn’t think it was gonna cook ‘em like that.

Doctor: It’s not regular ice. That dry ice shit is no joke when it’s sitting there that long. Both of them were hurting bad by the end.

Cowboy takes another drag and stares out toward the empty loading dock for a second.

Cowboy Watts: What about the other ones? The girls from the bathroom match?

Doctor 2: Boxxy’s got some bruising and she swallowed some water, but she’s okay. We kept an eye on her after CPR. She’s shaken up but nothing serious. Laura Prepon from the concession brawl has some cuts and bruises, nothing major. She’s already gone.

Cowboy nods slowly, still looking tired.

Cowboy Watts: Alright. Keep me updated on Hilary and Emma. Make sure they get whatever they need for the burns. Last thing I need is two girls out for weeks because we turned the floor into a goddamn hot plate.

The doctors nod and walk off. Cowboy stays where he is, smoking in silence as the arena continues to empty out behind him.

CBWL 036

 Scene: Gas South Arena – Backstage / Loading Area – Morning

The backstage area is starting to fill up as more people arrive. Some of them are actually booked for the show. Others… not so much.

Taylor Swift walks in with her gear bag, already in casual clothes, heading toward the locker room area. She gives a small nod to a couple of crew members as she passes.

Not far behind her, Kristen Bell arrives, sunglasses on, looking like she’s already over the day. She spots Taylor but doesn’t say anything, just keeps walking.

Mila Kunis shows up next with a hoodie on, earbuds in, looking focused. She’s clearly ready to work.

On the other side of things, people who weren’t booked for tonight are also rolling in:

Boxxy (Catie Wayne) wanders in with a backpack, looking around like she’s hoping someone will put her on the show last minute. She spots one of the agents and starts heading in their direction.

Jennette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove arrive together, both clearly not on the card tonight but showing up anyway. Jennette looks annoyed, while Miranda seems more curious about the chaos.

Anya Taylor-Joy quietly slips in, keeping to herself near the wall, watching everything unfold with that usual distant expression.

A couple of the lower midcard girls who weren’t used this week are also hanging around — some talking to production, others just standing around like they’re hoping to get pulled into something.

Cowboy Watts walks through the area with Jim Ross and spots the growing mix of people. He mutters under his breath.

Cowboy Watts: (quietly, to JR) Half these girls weren’t even supposed to be here tonight. What the fuck are they doing?

Jim Ross: (sighing) Word travels fast when there’s drama. Some of them probably heard things were falling apart and figured they’d show up just in case.

Cowboy Watts: (grumbling) This ain’t a goddamn open call. We already got enough problems without a bunch of unbooked talent wandering around looking for face time.

He watches as more people keep filtering in — some with purpose, others just drifting around like they’re waiting for something to happen.

Cowboy Watts: (mutters) This day just keeps getting better…

Cowboy Watts is standing near a stack of equipment crates when Stanley Kubrick and John Wick approach him. Kubrick has a small notebook in his hand and looks like he’s already been thinking about this for a while. Wick, as usual, is quiet and direct.

Stanley Kubrick: (straight to the point) We need to figure out the sets for tonight. Without a ring, we’re going to have to designate specific areas inside the building for the matches. Lighting, camera placement, crowd sightlines — it all changes.

John Wick: (nodding) Security too. We need to know where everything’s happening so we can control the flow and keep people out of the wrong areas.

Cowboy Watts: (rubbing his chin) Yeah… I’ve been thinking about that. We can’t just throw matches wherever. We need designated spots that actually work for TV and for the live crowd.

He looks between the two of them.

Cowboy Watts: Who else do you think we should pull in on this? I don’t want to make these calls by myself and then have half the building complaining later.

Stanley Kubrick: (without hesitation) Production should be involved. At least one of the camera leads and whoever’s running lighting tonight. If we’re setting up multiple areas, we need to know what we can actually shoot cleanly.

John Wick: Security and maybe one of the match agents. Someone who knows the layout of the building and how the crowd moves. We don’t want people wandering into active match areas.

Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Yeah… that makes sense. I’ll get Sarah or Bill in on it — they’ve got a good feel for how these things play out live. And I’ll pull one of the production guys too.

He exhales and looks out at the empty floor again.

Cowboy Watts: We’re gonna have to get creative. Some matches in the ring area even without the ring, maybe one or two out in the concourse or near the entrance. We just need to make sure it doesn’t look like complete chaos on camera.

Stanley Kubrick: It won’t look clean no matter what we do. But we can make it intentional. That’s the difference.

John Wick: As long as we lock in the locations soon, we can control the rest.

Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Alright. Let’s pull the right people and figure this out before it gets any later. I don’t want us still deciding this shit an hour before doors.

He flicks his cigarette and starts walking.

Cowboy Watts: Come on. Let’s go find Sarah and one of the camera guys. We’re burning daylight.

Cowboy Watts stands with Stanley Kubrick, John Wick, and Jim Ross near a stack of unused production equipment. He’s been quiet for the last minute, staring out at the empty arena floor like he’s working something out in his head. Finally, he speaks.

Cowboy Watts: Alright. Here’s what we’re doing.

He points out toward the middle of the arena floor.

Cowboy Watts: We’re not waiting on a ring that ain’t coming. We’re gonna use what’s already here. They got plywood laid down over the ice for the event. We’re gonna spray paint a big circle right in the center of it — old school Olympic style. No ropes. No turnbuckles. Just hard, splintered particle board. That’s gonna be our “ring” for most of the night.

Stanley Kubrick: (already thinking visually) It’ll look raw on camera. We can lean into that.

Cowboy Watts: For the main event — Emma and Hilary — we’re gonna cut a three-by-three square out of the boards right in the middle of that circle. Expose the ice underneath. I want the FX guys to hit it with dry ice so it smokes up when they land on it. Make it look nasty. I want that match to feel like it actually matters. No bullshit. Just two women beating the shit out of each other on ice and plywood in the middle of the building.

Jim Ross: (nodding slowly) That’s… different. But it could work. Especially if we sell it like they’re fighting in the most stripped-down environment possible.

Cowboy Watts: And for Mila and Laura… we’re doing a concession stand brawl. Full-on, messy, Tupac-style chaos. They can tear the whole thing apart if they want. I don’t care. That one doesn’t need to be pretty.

He looks at Kubrick and Wick.

Cowboy Watts: We’re also gonna need one more spot later in the show. Mariska’s gonna call an impromptu match. That one’s happening in the handicap stall of the oldest, nastiest, most out-of-date bathroom in this building. No cameras in there except the ones we control. We’ll figure out the logistics later.

John Wick: (practical) We’ll need to lock down the area and control who goes in and out. That bathroom’s gonna be a nightmare for security.

Stanley Kubrick: (already planning shots) We can make it feel claustrophobic. Tight angles. Bad lighting. It’ll stand out.

Cowboy Watts: (firm) Good. That’s the plan. We’re not gonna sit around crying about not having a ring. We’re gonna use what we’ve got and make it look like we meant to do it this way.

He looks at the three of them.

Cowboy Watts: Anybody got a problem with any of that?

The group stays quiet for a moment. Nobody pushes back.

Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Then let’s get to work. We don’t have much time.

The entire crew, booked talent, and most of the power structure have been called down to the middle of the arena floor. There’s no ring — just a large, freshly spray-painted circle on the plywood covering the ice. People are standing around in loose groups, some looking confused, others already annoyed.

Cowboy Watts stands in the center of the circle with Jim Ross beside him. He looks around at the crowd — wrestlers, agents, production, security, and a few people who probably didn’t even need to be there.

He doesn’t waste time.

Cowboy Watts: (loud, direct) Alright, listen up! Doors are in two hours. We don’t have a ring. That’s not changing. So here’s how this is gonna work.

He gestures around at the spray-painted circle on the floor.

Cowboy Watts: This is our ring tonight. Right here in the middle of the building. Hard plywood over ice. No ropes, no turnbuckles. We’re telling the fans that Sterling Marlin crashed with the ring weeks ago during the same wreck that put him in the hospital. That’s the story. We’re sticking to it.

A few people murmur, but nobody interrupts.

Cowboy Watts: Most of the show is gonna happen in or around this circle. Some of it won’t. Mila and Laura are doing a concession stand brawl. The main event — Emma and Hilary — is happening right here in the center, on the ice. We cut a square out and we’re gimmicking it up with dry ice. It’s gonna smoke when they hit it. That’s intentional.

He looks around at the agents and production.

Cowboy Watts: We’re making this up as we go in some places. I expect you to work with what you’ve got and not use the missing ring as an excuse to phone it in. The opening with Taylor and the main event matter the most tonight. Everything else, just make it work.

He pauses for a second, then continues.

Cowboy Watts: Later in the show, Mariska’s calling an impromptu match. That one’s happening in the handicap stall of the oldest, nastiest bathroom in this building. We’ll give you the details when it’s time.

He looks around at everyone one more time.

Cowboy Watts: We’ve had a fucked up morning. I know that. But we’ve got two hours until doors and five thousand people coming through them. We either pull this together or we embarrass ourselves. Your choice.

He nods once.

Cowboy Watts: Get to work. We open in two hours.

He turns and walks off with Jim Ross as the group starts to disperse, some people already talking among themselves about what they just heard.

Cowboy Watts had started walking away after his speech when he hears some low murmuring and complaining from the group. He stops dead in his tracks and turns back around, his face hardening.

Cowboy Watts: (snapping) Do I hear people complaining?

The murmuring dies down immediately. Everyone goes quiet.

Cowboy steps back into the middle of the spray-painted circle, looking around at the large crowd that had gathered.

Cowboy Watts: (raising his voice) Let me make something real fucking clear. Too many of you are here right now. Way too many. If you weren’t booked for this show, you shouldn’t have shown up. This ain’t a goddamn social club. This ain’t open mic night. We already got enough problems without a bunch of unbooked talent wandering around looking for face time or trying to get themselves pulled into something.

He scans the crowd, his tone getting sharper.

Cowboy Watts: If you’re not on the show tonight, you don’t need to be here. Period. I don’t care if you’re under contract. I don’t care if you’re “just checking in.” If you’re not booked, stay the fuck home next time. You’re not helping. You’re in the way.

There’s an uncomfortable silence. A few of the unbooked girls shift awkwardly.

Then Sheri L. Dew speaks up from the side, nodding in agreement.

Sheri L. Dew: He’s right. We’re already over budget and behind schedule. The last thing we need is extra bodies who weren’t supposed to be here taking up space and resources. This isn’t professional.

Cowboy nods once at her, then looks back out at the group.

Cowboy Watts: Since some of you clearly don’t understand how this works, here’s what’s gonna happen. All the girls who don’t have a segment on the show tonight — I want you in Jim Ross’s office. Right now. We’re gonna have a little conversation about showing up when you’re not supposed to be here.

He pauses, letting it sink in.

Cowboy Watts: And if I have to say this shit again next week, we’re gonna have a much bigger problem. Now get moving.

He turns and starts walking again, this time with Jim Ross beside him. A handful of the unbooked girls look at each other nervously before slowly heading toward the office area.

The unbooked girls who were told to report to the office slowly file in and stand around awkwardly. Among them are Boxxy (Catie Wayne), Jennette McCurdy, Miranda Cosgrove, and Anya Taylor-Joy. Some look annoyed, others look nervous. No one from management is there yet.

Ten full minutes pass in uncomfortable silence. The tension in the room steadily rises. Boxxy keeps shifting her weight. Jennette looks like she’s already regretting showing up. Miranda keeps checking her phone. Anya stands quietly against the wall, watching everything with that usual distant expression.

Finally, the door opens.

Mariska Hargitay walks in first. She’s dressed sharp — blazer, hair done, every bit the on-screen General Manager. She doesn’t greet anyone. She simply walks over to Jim Ross’s desk, leans against it, and looks over the group with a faint, amused smirk. It’s very clear she’s not here as talent. She’s here with management, and she’s enjoying this.

A few seconds later, Cowboy Watts and Joan Rivers enter.

Cowboy doesn’t sit. He stands near the door, staring at them like they’ve already wasted his time.

Cowboy Watts: (flat, cold) You were told not to show up if you weren’t booked tonight. And yet… here the fuck you are.

He lets the silence hang.

Cowboy Watts: I don’t like when people don’t listen. And I really don’t like when people waste my time on a day that’s already gone to complete shit.

The door opens again.

Butterbean walks in carrying his black duffel bag. Without saying a word, he steps into the middle of the room and starts doing slow, heavy shadow boxing right in front of the girls’ faces — not touching them, but close enough that some of them instinctively lean back.

Joan Rivers slowly walks down the line, sizing each of them up with that signature sharp, unimpressed look.

Joan Rivers: (dryly, stopping in front of Boxxy) You really thought showing up uninvited was gonna get you TV time? That’s adorable.

She moves down to Jennette.

Joan Rivers: And you. What exactly were you expecting? A last-minute miracle because you decided to grace us with your presence?

Mariska Hargitay lets out a quiet, amused breath from where she’s leaning against the desk, clearly enjoying the tension.

Cowboy Watts: (cold) You’re all gonna stand here until I decide what to do with you. And if any of you even think about causing problems tonight because you’re pissed you didn’t get booked… we’re gonna have a much bigger problem.

Butterbean keeps shadow boxing slowly in front of them, his heavy breathing filling the silence.

Cowboy lights a cigarette right there in the office and takes a long drag, staring at the group.

Cowboy Watts: Welcome to the show, ladies.

The room is dead silent after Cowboy’s last comment. He takes another drag off his cigarette and looks over the four girls — Boxxy, Jennette McCurdy, Miranda Cosgrove, and Anya Taylor-Joy.

Cowboy Watts: (flat, cold) Because you showed up here without being asked, here’s what’s gonna happen. You four are in a tag match tonight. Right after Taylor’s opening segment.

None of them look happy about it.

Cowboy Watts: And let me be real with you — nobody’s gonna give a shit. We’re not giving you video packages. We’re not giving you entrances. Everyone’s still gonna be coming down from Taylor’s segment when you go out there. So don’t expect a reaction.

He looks directly at them.

Cowboy Watts: Jennette and Miranda, you two are going over. Boxxy and Anya, you’re taking the loss.

He takes another slow drag before continuing.

Cowboy Watts: We’re doing an “escape the cage” finish… but we’re doing it in the handicap stall of the bathroom. The only way to win is to get out of the stall. Anya’s gonna escape first. But Mariska’s not gonna ring the bell.

He glances at Mariska Hargitay, who’s still leaning against the desk with that same amused look on her face.

Cowboy Watts: While Anya’s standing outside the stall, Jennette and Miranda are gonna drown Boxxy in the toilet. She’s not gonna die, but they’re gonna hold her down long enough to make it look bad. Then they’ll open the stall, drag her out, and give her CPR like they give a fuck. Once she’s breathing again, the two of them are just gonna casually walk out like nothing happened.

He looks at Anya Taylor-Joy.

Cowboy Watts: Which is gonna leave you standing there looking like a fucking coward who left her partner to get drowned in a toilet.

The room stays quiet. Boxxy looks pissed. Jennette and Miranda glance at each other but don’t say anything. Anya’s face is unreadable, but she’s clearly uncomfortable.

Mariska Hargitay lets out a small, satisfied breath through her nose, clearly enjoying the plan.

Cowboy Watts: (to the four of them) That’s your match. That’s your finish. Don’t like it? Then next time, don’t show up when you’re not supposed to be here.

He flicks his cigarette into an empty coffee cup on the desk.

Cowboy Watts: Now get the fuck out of this office and go find somewhere to be until we need you.

The bathroom is quiet this early. Cowboy Watts is finishing up at the urinal while Jim Ross washes his hands at the sink. Cowboy zips up, steps over to the sink next to JR, and turns the water on.

He keeps his voice low, just two veterans talking business before showtime.

Cowboy Watts: One hour. How we looking?

Jim Ross: (calm, drying his hands) Better than it was this morning. Tony’s here now with Wendy and Butterbean. The spray-painted circle’s down, production’s locked in the camera angles for the ice spot in the main event, and the concession stand’s already getting torn apart for Mila and Laura. We’re as ready as we can be without a real ring.

Cowboy nods, shaking the water off his hands.

Cowboy Watts: And the bathroom match?

Jim Ross: All set. Mariska’s already picked the stall. Security’s gonna keep that hallway locked down until it’s time.

Cowboy grabs a paper towel and dries his hands, then leans against the counter next to JR.

Cowboy Watts: What about those four girls we stuck in that tag match after Taylor? They behaving?

Jim Ross: They’re in your office right now with Mariska and Joan. Pissed off, but they’ll do the match. They know they brought it on themselves by showing up unbooked.

Cowboy lets out a short breath through his nose.

Cowboy Watts: Good. Long as they don’t cause any extra problems tonight, I don’t give a damn how mad they are.

He crumples the paper towel and tosses it.

Cowboy Watts: (quietly) We get through Taylor’s opening and that tag match clean, the rest of the show can be as sloppy as it needs to be. I don’t care. Just make sure the open and the main event actually look like we meant to do this without a ring.

Jim Ross: (nodding) Agreed. Everything else is just noise at this point.

Cowboy glances at JR.

Cowboy Watts: You good?

Jim Ross: I’m good. You?

Cowboy Watts: (after a short pause) I will be once that first bell rings.

He claps JR lightly on the shoulder.

Cowboy Watts: Let’s get back out there.

The two of them head toward the door, keeping it low-key — just two old hands quietly going over last-minute details one hour before doors.

CBWL 035

Gas South Arena – Duluth, Georgia – Morning

The loading area is getting busier as more people arrive from the hotel and elsewhere. Some of the crew is starting to trickle in, but everything still feels disorganized. There’s still no ring on the floor.

Cowboy Watts is standing near the loading dock, smoking and looking stressed. Jim Ross is next to him, trying to get some answers. Jack Black is also there, looking around like he just woke up.

Jack Black: (casually) Hey, uh… is there any catering set up yet? I’m starving.

Jim Ross: (ignoring him, looking at Arnold Palmer) Any word on the ring?

Arnold Palmer: (holding up his phone) I finally got Tony on the line. He said he’ll be here in about an hour.

Cowboy Watts: (turning around) About fucking time. Where the hell has he been?

Arnold Palmer: Didn’t say much. Just said he was handling something and that he’s on his way. He also said he’s bringing Wendy and Butterbean with him.

Jim Ross: (frowning) Wendy? Why’s he bringing her this early?

Arnold Palmer: I don’t know. He just said they’ll all be here in about an hour.

Cowboy Watts: (rubbing his face) Jesus Christ… this morning’s already a disaster.

He looks out at the mostly empty floor where the ring should already be.

Cowboy Watts: (mutters) We’re supposed to have a show tonight and we don’t even have a fucking ring yet.

The loading area is getting noticeably busier as more people from the power structure start showing up. Some of them actually need to be there. Others clearly don’t.

Cowboy Watts stands near the loading dock with Jim Ross, watching the growing crowd with increasing irritation.

People who should be there:

  • Bill Parcells shows up looking half-asleep, coffee in hand, asking about the ring situation.
  • Sarah Palin and Joan Rivers arrive together. Sarah’s already on her phone, while Joan is loudly complaining about how disorganized everything looks.
  • Larry David is talking with two of the other referees, trying to figure out where they’re supposed to set up.
  • A few members of the actual production and ring crew are starting to trickle in, looking confused about the lack of a ring.

People who don’t really need to be there this early:

  • Dan Schneider walks in with two young developmental guys following behind him. He’s already on his phone talking loudly.
  • Sheri L. Dew and Karin Pouw show up dressed like they’re attending a corporate meeting, looking around with visible disapproval.
  • Steve Jobs arrives with an assistant, already making notes on his phone about “branding opportunities” and “social media moments” for the show.
  • Dr. Phil strolls in casually, holding a coffee and chatting with one of the crew like he’s just there to hang out.

Cowboy Watts watches all of this with a deepening scowl.

Cowboy Watts: (under his breath) Half these people don’t even need to be here yet… and the ones who do are still missing.

Jim Ross: (quietly) It’s turning into a goddamn circus already.

Joan Rivers: (walking up) Where the hell is the ring? We can’t run a show with no ring, Cowboy.

Cowboy Watts: (gritting his teeth) I know, Joan. Believe me, I fucking know.

He takes a long drag off his cigarette and stares out at the growing crowd of people who are either in the way or asking questions he doesn’t have answers to yet.

Cowboy Watts: (mutters) This is gonna be a long fucking day…

Scene: Gas South Arena – Loading Dock – Morning

The black SUV pulls up near the loading dock. Tony Soprano is driving, Wendy Williams is in the passenger seat, and Butterbean is in the back — still wearing his old-school boxing gear and bright red gloves.

They get out of the truck. Butterbean grabs his bag and follows behind them as they walk toward the group.

Cowboy Watts, Jim Ross, and a few others are standing nearby. Cowboy spots them first and immediately clocks Butterbean’s outfit.

Cowboy Watts: (frowning) The fuck are you dressed like that for?

Butterbean: (shrugging, casual) Long morning.

Tony doesn’t say anything about it. He just walks up with Wendy beside him.

Wendy Williams: (trying to sound composed) Hi… I’m Wendy. Wendy Williams. I’m supposed to be doing the backstage interviews tonight.

Jim Ross: (looking at her face) Jesus… what happened to you? You got a black eye and a bruise the size of a golf ball on your cheek.

Wendy instinctively touches her face but doesn’t answer right away. Tony steps in before she can.

Tony Soprano: (flat, defensive) There was a problem earlier. I dealt with it.

The way he says it is casual, but there’s weight behind it. Cowboy looks at Tony for a second, then at Wendy’s bruised face. He doesn’t ask any follow-up questions. He just gives a small, knowing nod — like he already understands exactly what kind of “problem” Tony had to deal with.

Cowboy Watts: (quietly, to Tony) As long as it’s handled.

Tony nods once. Cowboy doesn’t push it any further.

Jim Ross: (still looking at Wendy, concerned) You sure you’re alright to work tonight?

Wendy Williams: (forcing a small smile) Yeah… I’ll be fine. Just had a rough morning.

Tony stands next to her, quiet but present, like he’s making sure she doesn’t say anything else.

Cowboy Watts: (to the group) Alright. Tony’s here. Let’s try to get this shitshow moving before it gets any worse.

He glances at Butterbean one more time, still in his gear.

Cowboy Watts: (mutters) And somebody get him out of that fucking outfit…

Scene: Wendy’s – Across the street from Gas South Arena – Lunchtime

The group sits in a corner booth at the Wendy’s across from the arena. It’s not exactly a strategic war room, but it’s quiet enough to think for five minutes. Cowboy Watts, Jim Ross, Tony Soprano, Sarah Palin, Joan Rivers, and Bill Parcells are all crammed into the booth and surrounding tables. The energy is tense and exhausted.

Nobody’s really eating much. Most of them are just picking at their food or staring at their phones.

Jim Ross is the first to speak, keeping his voice low.

Jim Ross: Alright. Let’s just get this out on the table. This morning has been a disaster. We still don’t have a ring. Half the crew showed up late or not at all. And now we got Wendy walking around with a black eye the size of Texas. Somebody wanna tell me what the hell is going on?

All eyes slowly turn to Cowboy Watts. He’s sitting at the head of the table, staring down at his untouched burger like it personally offended him.

Cowboy Watts: (after a moment) Tony said there was a problem earlier. He said he handled it.

Tony Soprano: (defensive, but calm) I did handle it. It’s not gonna affect the show.

Joan Rivers: (raising an eyebrow) She’s got a golf ball sticking out the side of her face, Tony. That’s gonna affect something.

Sarah Palin: (leaning forward) Look, I don’t care what happened between you and her. But if this turns into some kind of scandal or she can’t do her job tonight, that’s on all of us. We already look like a fucking mess.

Bill Parcells: (gruff) We need to get the ring situation sorted first. Everything else is secondary. We can’t run a show with no ring.

Jim Ross: (looking at Cowboy) You got any ideas on that? Jack’s useless right now. Tony’s been MIA all morning. We’re running out of time.

Everyone goes quiet again, waiting for Cowboy to speak. The pressure in the booth is thick. They’re all looking at him like he’s supposed to have the answers, even though nobody really does.

Cowboy Watts: (finally speaking, voice low) I don’t have a magic fix. We’re gonna have to make some ugly calls and get that ring here however we can. As for Wendy… she’s here, she’s working. That’s all I care about right now.

He looks around the table at everyone.

Cowboy Watts: We got a show in a few hours. I don’t care how fucked up this morning’s been. We either pull it together or we go out there and embarrass ourselves in front of five thousand people. Your choice.

He picks up his burger and takes a bite, signaling that the conversation is over for now.

The table stays quiet. Everyone is still on edge, but at least they have some direction.

The group is still sitting in the corner booth. The mood is tense and tired. Most of them are just pushing food around their trays.

Arnold Palmer takes a sip of his drink and leans back, deciding to fill the silence with a story.

Arnold Palmer: You know, back in the day I played some tournaments out in the Midwest during a real bad drought one summer. Showed up to these courses and the grass was just… dead. Brown, patchy, looked like somebody took a blowtorch to it. But we still had to play. No choice. Greens were hard as concrete, fairways were dirt. We just adapted and got through it.

He chuckles lightly.

Arnold Palmer: Hell, imagine trying to wrestle without a ring. That’d be something.

The table goes quiet for a second.

Jim Ross: (calmly) It’s been done before.

Everyone looks at him.

Jim Ross: Back in the territories, especially down in Memphis and parts of Texas, there were times the ring truck broke down or just flat out didn’t make it. They’d end up doing street fights or parking lot brawls instead. Jerry Lawler used to talk about working matches in parking lots with nothing but a couple of ropes and some hay bales when they had to.

Cowboy Watts had been staring down at the table, half-listening. But something in what JR said makes him sit up straighter. His eyes narrow slightly as an idea starts forming.

Cowboy Watts: (slowly) …We don’t need a ring.

The table turns to look at him.

Jim Ross: (raising an eyebrow) Come again?

Cowboy Watts: (getting more animated) We don’t need a fuckin’ ring. Not tonight. We got five thousand people coming. We can do this old school. Street fight style. Parking lot brawls. Hell, we can even do some of it inside the building if we have to. We don’t gotta wait on some jackass who can’t get a ring here on time.

Joan Rivers: (blinking) You’re serious?

Cowboy Watts: (nodding, warming up to the idea) Dead serious. We adapt. We’ve done worse with less. If the ring ain’t showing up, then we work without one. Make it part of the show. Tell the people the ring truck broke down and we’re doing this the old way.

He looks around at the group, clearly feeling like he just had a breakthrough.

Joan Rivers: If we’re running without a ring tonight, we need a clean reason for it. We tell the fans Sterling crashed with the ring weeks ago — during the same wreck that put him in the hospital. That’s why it’s not here.

Jim Ross: (nodding) That works. It protects his current condition and gives us a believable story.

Sarah Palin: And it actually helps the opening. Taylor’s coming out first in that white jumpsuit with “DRIVE ME STERLING” on her ass. If we lean into the story that he crashed with the ring, her segment is gonna hit harder. She can play it up — wish him well, do the whole “hope you like it, Sterling” thing while shaking her ass. It’ll pop even more now that we’ve got a reason tied to it.

Joan Rivers: Exactly. Instead of just looking like we couldn’t get our shit together, we make it part of the story. Taylor comes out, does her thing, and now it feels like she’s addressing something real instead of just doing a horny tribute.

Bill Parcells: It’s simple. We go out there and say Sterling had the ring with him when he went down weeks ago. That’s why there’s no ring tonight. Then we move on with the rest of the show.

Cowboy Watts: (thinking it over) So we lie and say he crashed with it weeks ago… and we use that to make Taylor’s opening hit harder.

Jim Ross: That’s the move. It’s the cleanest way to explain it without breaking what we’ve already established with Sterling being in the hospital.

Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Alright. That’s what we’re doing. We’re telling the fans Sterling crashed with the ring weeks ago. Taylor opens with it, we lean into the sympathy, and we run the rest of the show without a ring.

He looks around the table.

Cowboy Watts: Anybody got a problem with that?

Nobody pushes back.

Scene: Wendy’s – Across the street from Gas South Arena

The group is still sitting in the booth. They’ve decided on the new direction for the show. Cowboy looks around the table.

Cowboy Watts: Alright. One last time. Let’s run through it clean so everybody’s on the same page.

He looks down at the booking sheet.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 1 — Taylor opens in the white latex jumpsuit with “DRIVE ME STERLING” on her ass. She does the whole bit — shaking her ass, mouthing “Hope you like it, Sterling” to the camera. We’re leaning into the story that he crashed with the ring weeks ago, so this should hit harder now.

Jim Ross: Yeah. She can play it like she’s wishing him well and acknowledging what happened. It gives it more weight.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 2 — Kristen comes out, does the sympathy bit, tells Taylor that Sterling needs to die and that he’s going to The Bad Place. They brawl off, no finish.

Joan Rivers: That’s still good heat. Keep it nasty.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 3 — Mariska comes out, cameras go straight down her chest while she’s all oiled up. She makes Taylor vs Kristen official for next week.

Sarah Palin: That part stays the same. It’s already nasty enough.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 4 — Emma and Hilary backstage. They shoot off their real personalities, back-handed compliments, it turns into a challenge. We’re still using this to slowly turn Hilary.

Bill Parcells: Keep it respectful but with some edge. Emma should come out of it looking strong.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 5 — Mila vs Laura. Mila does the fake-friendly shit, beats the piss out of her, rips her pants off, shows the granny panties. Commentators go in hard on how nasty it is.

Joan Rivers: That one’s staying mean as hell. Good.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 6 — Florence’s promo, then the cheese bit backstage. Keep her sweet and a little ditzy.

Jim Ross: Yeah. We want the crowd to like her before she gets jumped.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 7 — JoJo video. Play it mostly straight. Some people will buy the sympathy, some won’t. Either way, it keeps her name out there.

Cowboy Watts: Segment 8 — Main event. Emma vs Hilary. They try to have a real technical match but it’s gonna be stiff and awkward. Emma goes over clean. They hug after like it’s a workrate moment. Then they close the show plugging Taylor vs Kristen for next week.

He looks around the table one last time.

Cowboy Watts: That’s the show. We’re running without a ring, we’re telling the fans Sterling crashed with it weeks ago, and we’re moving forward. Any last changes?

The table stays quiet for a few seconds.

Jim Ross: It’s not perfect, but it’s the best we can do with what we’ve got.

Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Then that’s what we’re doing. Let’s get back to the building.

The group is still sitting in the booth after finalizing the new direction for the show. Cowboy Watts looks around at the four agents — Tony Soprano, Sarah Palin, Joan Rivers, and Bill Parcells.

Cowboy Watts: (firm, no-nonsense) Alright, listen up. Since we’re running without a ring tonight, you four are gonna have to work with your talent on the fly in your segments. I need you thinking outside the box. We’re not gonna have the usual structure, so you’re gonna have to adjust as you go.

He leans forward slightly, his tone getting a little harder.

Cowboy Watts: But let me be clear — this ain’t an excuse to call it in. I’m cutting you some slack because of the situation, but I still expect you to work with what you got. Don’t half-ass it just because we’re missing the ring. Save the deep, heavy stuff for the main event and Taylor’s opening segment. Everything else, just keep it moving and make it work.

The agents nod, listening closely.

Cowboy Watts: I’m splitting you up into pairs. Here’s how it’s gonna go:

He looks at Tony Soprano and Joan Rivers.

Cowboy Watts: Tony, Joan — you two are handling Mila vs Laura and the Florence Pugh segment. Keep Mila’s beatdown nasty, and make sure Florence’s promo and the cheese bit land. Keep it simple but effective.

He then looks at Sarah Palin and Bill Parcells.

Cowboy Watts: Sarah, Bill — you’ve got the Emma and Hilary backstage segment and the main event. The main event is one of the ones I want you to actually put some work into. Everything else, just make it work with what we’ve got.

He sits back and takes a sip of his coffee.

Cowboy Watts: Any questions?

The table stays quiet for a moment. Nobody pushes back.

Cowboy Watts: Good. Then let’s get back to the building and make this shit work.

The group piles into a couple of vehicles. Arnold Palmer ends up driving one of the vans back to the arena with Cowboy Watts, Jim Ross, and a couple of the agents. The ride is mostly quiet — everyone is tired and mentally preparing for what’s about to be a very long, very messy day.

When they pull up to Gas South Arena, most of the group heads inside through the loading dock. Cowboy and Jim Ross hang back near the entrance.

Arnold Palmer: (as he’s getting out) I’ll go see if anybody from the building finally showed up with some answers.

He walks off, leaving just Cowboy and Jim Ross standing near the popcorn stands inside the concourse. It’s mostly empty this early — just a few crew members moving around in the distance.

Cowboy lights a cigarette even though they’re inside and takes a long drag. JR stands beside him, hands in his pockets, watching him quietly for a moment before speaking.

Jim Ross: You holding up alright?

Cowboy Watts: (exhaling smoke) I’ve had better mornings.

He stares out at the mostly empty arena floor in the distance.

Cowboy Watts: We’re running a show with no ring, half the crew showed up late or not at all, Tony’s been off doing God knows what, and now we’re lying to the fans about Sterling crashing with the ring weeks ago just to cover our asses. This ain’t how I wanted this day to go.

Jim Ross: (calmly) It’s not ideal. But we’ve worked through worse. You’ve worked through worse.

Cowboy Watts: (grunting) Yeah, well… I’m getting too old for this kind of shitshow. I used to be able to put a show together with half the problems we got right now and still make it look like we knew what we were doing.

He takes another drag and shakes his head.

Cowboy Watts: I just hope we can get through tonight without everything falling apart in front of five thousand people.

Jim Ross: We will. We always do. One way or another.

Cowboy doesn’t answer right away. He just stands there smoking, staring out at the arena like he’s already bracing for whatever’s coming next.

Cowboy Watts and Jim Ross are still standing near the popcorn stands, away from the growing noise of the crew inside. Cowboy takes another drag off his cigarette and exhales slowly before speaking.

Cowboy Watts: Be honest with me, JR. What do you really think about tonight?

Jim Ross: (after a moment) I think it’s gonna be messy. But I also think we can make it work. We’ve got enough pieces in place that if we hit the important parts, the rest can just be functional. It won’t be pretty, but it doesn’t have to be a total disaster.

Cowboy Watts: (nodding slightly) Yeah… that’s about where I’m at too. I’m not expecting a classic. I just don’t want us looking like complete amateurs in front of five thousand people.

He flicks some ash onto the floor.

Cowboy Watts: Speaking of amateurs… what do you think Tony’s been up to all morning?

Jim Ross: (sighing) I don’t know. But whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Wendy showing up with a black eye and a bruise on her face like that… and him saying he “dealt with it”? That’s not nothing. I’ve got a bad feeling about it, but right now I’m more focused on getting through the show.

Cowboy Watts: (quietly) Yeah. Me too.

He leans against the wall and looks out toward the arena floor.

Cowboy Watts: Truth is, I don’t give a damn where we put the Mila match. She can beat the shit out of that girl in the concourse for all I care. But the main event? That one matters. Emma and Hilary need to have a real match tonight. Right in the center of the building. Ring or no ring.

Jim Ross: (listening) You want it to feel traditional?

Cowboy Watts: Yeah. The original plan was to have it be “pure.” Two women trying to wrestle. No bullshit. Well… how much more pure can it get than doing it with no ring at all? Just them, in the middle of the floor, with nothing but space and whatever they bring to it. That’s as old school as it gets.

He takes another drag and shakes his head.

Cowboy Watts: I don’t care if it looks weird. I want that match to feel like it means something. The opening with Taylor and the main event are the only two segments I actually give a shit about tonight. Everything else can be whatever it needs to be. But those two? We need to make sure they hit.

Jim Ross: (nodding) I agree. If we get Taylor’s opening and the main event right, the rest of the show can survive being a little rough around the edges.

Cowboy Watts: (quietly) Then that’s what we focus on. The rest of it… we’ll just have to make it work.

He stares out at the empty floor for a few more seconds before speaking again.

Cowboy Watts: Let’s get back in there. We’ve got work to do.