my dad took me to a Bob Dylan concert when i was 20 which meant i was not old enough to drink enough to enjoy that fucking concert at all. it was bad enough that every song what arranged like shit and he didn’t even sing. but this woman behind us (in her fuckin 40s so she was definitely old enough to not do this shit) yelled “I WANNA FUCK YOU BOB” at least 11 times the entire show. like three feet away from my right ear. and first of all, it’s like… no you don’t. no one has wanted to fuck Bob Dylan since 1969. his sternum would collapse into a fine dust if you tried to fuck him. i would put money on the fact that Bob Dylan has experienced less than 4 orgasms since 2009 because he probably prefers to have a cup of chamomile or some shit. second of all i am still befuddled as to why she thought a quiet bluegrass concert was an appropriate arena for screaming how hard you wanna fuck old people. i get that NO place is super appropriate for that but it definitely wasn’t that room full of erudite white ppl and their Warby Parker bullshit ass fits. still not as bad as that guy who was fried off his fuckin nuts at Oasis last year who tried to fistfight me because he fell down on top of me. but that nigga was on hard shit tweek in while FaceTiming his kids goodnight so he clearly was already in a less than ideal state of mind
