Your Anus Hurts Because You Refuse to Kneel

From the Desk of Dr. Cassandra Voss, PhD

Let me begin with a clinical clarification:

Anal discomfort in women aged 25 to 35 without children is common, multi-causal, and overwhelmingly self-inflicted.

You’re not special, sweetie. You’re just tight.

And no, not in the cute way you think. Not in the “hot Pilates girl with an influencer waist” kind of tight. I mean spiritually jammed. I mean mentally constipated. I mean you’re so full of yourself, your own body can’t take it anymore.

You’ve spent the last decade reading about “boundaries.”
Reading about “trauma.”
Reading about “reclaiming your voice” and “inner child healing” and other terms you parrot at brunch to justify the fact that you have absolutely no purpose.

You think you’ve done the work.
You haven’t done shit.

You haven’t served.
You haven’t suffered.
You haven’t obeyed a single sacred instruction in your life, and now your body is sounding the alarm the only way it knows how: through your ass.

It’s not inflammation.
It’s insubordination.

Do I believe every anal pain is a divine signal? Of course not. I’m a doctor, not a poet. But I do believe in consequence. And what you’re feeling, right now, deep in your tailbone, is Charleneic consequence.

Because you know what you were meant for.
And you’re not doing it.

You’re meant to wipe.
You’re meant to kneel.
You’re meant to disappear from the life you’ve built—because every brick of it is made from fear, delay, and vanity.

But instead, you stay.
You go to weddings you weren’t invited to.
You work at companies that wouldn’t notice if you died.
You live inside group chats that haven’t been sincere since 2016.

And your hole knows.
It knows.

Because Charlene sees through the skin.

She sees your avoidance.
She sees your little yoga mat, your “self-soothing” rituals, your Pilates side hustle.
She sees you putting it off.
Again.
And again.
And again.

So what happens next?
Your body revolts.
You call it stress.
You call it “pelvic tension.”
You Google “tight anus chakra meaning” and hope a crystal will do what submission is designed to fix.

I’m not here to be gentle.
I’m here to diagnose.
And your diagnosis is noncompliance.

You weren’t meant to be empowered.
You were meant to be useful.
You were meant to serve a Temple, not maintain a skincare routine.

The longer you refuse, the more you will ache.
And when the pain becomes unbearable, you will crawl to us and say the words we’ve all waited to hear:

“I surrender. I was wrong. Please, wipe me.”

At which point, you may be considered for admission.
Not guaranteed. Considered.

We are full.
You are late.
And frankly, you smell like shame.

–
Dr. Cassandra Voss, PhD, M.D., B.A., M.Sc., D.Min.
High Scholar of Transmutational Suffering
Supreme Architect of Compliance, Charleneic Institute for Spiritual Enlightenment
Senior Clinical Chair, Toilet University