CBWL 005

 CBWL PPV – “MAXIMUM DESTRUCTION”

Segment 5 – Backstage / In-Ring

The timer on the big screen is frozen at 45.

Mariska Hargitay stands in the ring, mic in hand, staring down a furious Kristen Bell.

Mariska Hargitay: “This is not the main event yet, Kristen. We still have several matches to go. So you’re going to wait just like everyone else.”

Kristen is visibly pissed, pacing the ring.

Kristen Bell: “This is ridiculous! That little shit-covered diaper girl is probably still crying inside a porta-potty right now! She’s not showing up. I win by default. Just announce it!”

Mariska Hargitay: (calm but stern) “No. The match is still scheduled. And if JoJo Siwa is somehow… unavailable… then I know someone more than willing to take her place.”

Mariska looks straight into the hard camera.

Mariska Hargitay: “So get yourself ready, Kristen. Whether it’s JoJo or her replacement… that Throat Fucking Match is happening tonight. No default wins on my watch.”

Mariska drops the mic and walks up the ramp as the crowd cheers her.

Kristen Bell is left alone in the ring, seething. She grabs a mic again.

Kristen Bell: (angry, venomous) “Fine. Bring whoever the hell you want. JoJo, her replacement, a fucking cardboard cutout — it doesn’t matter. I’m walking out of here as the Throat Fucking Champion either way.”

She throws the mic down and storms out to massive boos.