CBWL Offices – Atlanta, Georgia
Cowboy had his boots kicked up on the desk, sipping on a cup of coffee while Jim Ross flipped through a few notes in front of him. They’d been sitting in relative silence for a minute when Cowboy finally spoke up.
Cowboy Watts: “Traffic in this city’s gettin’ worse every damn time I come through. Takes forever just to get from one side of town to the other.”
Jim Ross: “Yeah, it’s bad. I stopped at that little diner off the highway on the way in. Food’s still decent, but it took damn near forty minutes just to get a plate of eggs.”
Cowboy grunted and set his coffee down.
Cowboy Watts: “Speaking of time… who all we got coming in for this meeting today? We got a lot to lock down before tomorrow’s show, and even more before Sunday.”
Jim Ross: “Elena’s already here. Tony should be on his way once he’s done with Wendy. Arnold’s supposed to show up too. I imagine Sheri’s gonna want to sit in, especially with everything going on with Wendy’s surgery. Conrad and Dr. Eisenberg will probably pop in at some point as well once we start talking about Sterling.”
Cowboy nodded slowly, staring at the papers on his desk.
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah… we got a lot to figure out. Between Emma’s direction, Taylor’s involvement, Sterling’s situation, and whatever the hell else is gonna come up, this one’s gonna run long.”
Jim Ross: “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee before speaking.
Cowboy Watts: “Just so we’re clear — I only want the agents in here for this. No Sheri, no doctors. I’ll deal with them later. Right now I just want the people who actually have to book this shit.”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “Fair enough. Keeps things simpler.”
Cowboy glanced at the clock on the wall, then looked back at JR.
Cowboy Watts: “We’re still waiting on a few. Arnold should be here soon. Joan and Sarah are on their way. Tony’s probably still dealing with Wendy, but he should show up. And Bill said he’d be here.”
Jim Ross checked his phone.
Jim Ross: “Joan texted me a few minutes ago. She’s about ten minutes out. Haven’t heard from the others yet.”
Cowboy grunted and took another sip of his coffee.
Cowboy Watts: “Figures. Never can get everybody in one place on time. We’ll give ‘em a few more minutes, then we’ll start without whoever’s missing.”
The rest of the agents had already arrived and were making small talk while they waited. Arnold Palmer stood near the window talking with Bill Parcells, while Joan Rivers and Sarah Palin sat at the long table, casually chatting about the upcoming show. Elena was already seated near the head of the table, looking through her phone.
A few minutes later, the door opened again.
Tony walked in looking like he hadn’t slept. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair was a mess, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He shut the door behind him without saying much.
Joan Rivers was the first to speak up.
Joan Rivers: “Well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence. You look like you got hit by a truck and then backed over for good measure. Rough night?”
Tony stopped in his tracks and shot her a look.
Tony Soprano: (snapping) “Yeah, Joan, it was a rough fuckin’ night. You try dealing with half the shit I’ve been dealing with the last couple days and see how pretty you look in the morning. I got Wendy on one side losing her goddamn mind every ten minutes, Butterbean torching buildings like it’s a hobby, and a doctor cutting people up in hotel rooms. So yeah, sorry I’m a little late.”
He pulled out a chair and dropped into it.
Tony Soprano: “And on top of all that, I woke up this morning and Butterbean must’ve taken the fuckin’ car. Couldn’t get ahold of him either. So I had to get a ride over here like some asshole.”
Jim Ross raised a hand before Joan could fire back.
Jim Ross: “Alright, alright, easy. Everybody’s on edge right now. Tony, sit down and relax for a minute. They got some food set up in the back — there’s a Bruschetta sandwich with your name on it if you want it. And hey—” He turned to one of the interns standing near the door. “Go grab him a Sprite with some ice, would you?”
The intern nodded quickly and hurried out of the room.
Tony let out a heavy breath and leaned back in his chair, still looking irritated but slightly less on edge.
Tony Soprano: “…Thanks.”
Cowboy looked around the table once everyone had settled.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. Now that we’re all here, let’s get started.”
Cowboy Watts: “Alright, before we get into booking the shows, I’m gonna lay out where we’re at so we’re all on the same page. Some of this is gonna sound fucked up, but that’s where we are right now.”
He took a breath and started.
Cowboy Watts: “Last week’s show was a mess. No ring, Emma went off script, put Hilary through the dry ice, then came back out after the match and did it again. She cut a promo on her own. Whether she meant to or not, she hurt Hilary pretty bad. Hilary’s dealing with some serious burns and medical issues because of it.”
He looked over at Tony for a second, then continued.
Cowboy Watts: “Elena sent Tony and Butterbean to the hospital to pull Sterling out. She didn’t think the doctors were helping him. While they were there, things got out of hand. Butterbean started swinging on staff. Tony grabbed one of the nurses on the way out, figured we might need somebody who actually knows what they’re doing if we were gonna try and keep Sterling alive in a hotel. That nurse is dead now. Conrad and Butterbean handled that. Conrad harvested what he could from her — organs went to Sterling, and tissue is being prepped for Wendy’s surgery.”
He paused for a moment before going on.
Cowboy Watts: “Wendy’s in bad shape. Her dementia is worse than we thought. She’s in and out, doesn’t retain information, and needs constant watching. Tony’s been dealing with her the last couple days. On top of that, Butterbean was left behind to clean the hotel room after everything went down. Instead, he burned the whole building down. We’re still dealing with the fallout from that.”
Cowboy looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “On the creative side, we’re turning Emma heel. We’re building her as a smug, preachy, holier-than-thou type who acts like she’s better than everybody but sells it all out the second it benefits her. We’re using that to set up a match with Taylor at the PPV. We’re also planning to use Sterling’s condition to help build that angle — Emma’s gonna go after people connected to him, including a planned segment with Nicki. We’re still figuring out exactly how we’re gonna handle Sterling for Friday and Sunday.”
He leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s the situation as it stands right now. It’s messy. Some of it’s out of our control. But we still got a go-home show tomorrow and a PPV on Sunday, so we need to figure out how we’re gonna make this all work without everything falling apart.”
He looked around the room.
Cowboy Watts: “Any questions before we start breaking this down?”
Joan Rivers: “Okay, let’s start with the obvious. Emma’s turning into some smug, preachy bitch who sells out feminism the second it benefits her? That’s the direction we’re going? Because from where I’m sitting, that sounds like we’re turning one of the most recognizable good girls in the world into public enemy number one overnight. Are we sure the audience is gonna buy that this fast?”
Arnold Palmer raised his hand slightly before speaking, looking genuinely confused.
Arnold Palmer: “I’m still a little lost on the Sterling situation. We’re talking about putting a man who’s been through major trauma behind the wheel of a truck? Even with medication? I don’t know much about wrestling, but that doesn’t sound very safe. Is there really no other option here?”
Sarah Palin spoke up next, her tone direct but with that familiar folksy rhythm.
Sarah Palin: “Yeah, and on that note — this nurse situation. We’re talking about a woman who’s no longer with us, and now we’re using parts of her for surgery on Wendy? I mean, I’m all for getting things done, but this feels like we’re crossing into some pretty dark territory here. How are we supposed to keep something like that quiet long-term?”
Bill Parcells leaned forward, arms resting on the table, his voice low and blunt.
Bill Parcells: “And what about Butterbean? Guy burns down a whole hotel and we’re just supposed to act like it’s another Tuesday? I get that we’ve got bigger problems, but if he’s this unpredictable, how much longer are we gonna keep him around? Because from where I’m sitting, he’s becoming a liability.”
Joan spoke up again before anyone else could answer.
Joan Rivers: “And while we’re at it — this whole Nicki Minaj and Sterling thing. We’re really gonna have her sitting there rubbing his dick while he’s unconscious, and then have Emma attack her with chains? That’s the visual we’re going with? Because that’s not just edgy, that’s a whole different level of fucked up.”
She looked around the table.
Joan Rivers: “I’m all for heat, but are we sure we’re not going too far with this one?”
The room quieted down again as everyone waited to see how Cowboy and Jim Ross would respond to the questions.
Cowboy didn’t waste time addressing the questions head-on.
Cowboy Watts: “Before anybody starts running their mouths about Emma, let me make this clear — we’ve already talked to her. We’ve got a direction, and we’re moving forward with it. It’s gonna work. That’s all that needs to be said about it right now.”
Jim Ross nodded in agreement and stepped in before anyone could push back.
Jim Ross: “We’re not gonna sit here and debate it. We’ve already laid it out with her, and she understands what we’re doing. So let’s leave it at that.”
Cowboy continued without giving anyone else a chance to jump in.
Cowboy Watts: “Next thing — yeah, there’s a good chance we won’t have a ring tomorrow. Again. We’re still working on it. But if the angle with Emma and Taylor plays out the way we’re hoping at the go-home show, we should have everything in place by Sunday for the PPV. That’s the goal.”
He looked around the table, his tone getting sharper.
Cowboy Watts: “Now, as far as Wendy goes — that’s a need-to-know situation only. And most of you don’t need to know. So shut the fuck up about it. We’re handling it. That’s all anybody in this room needs to concern themselves with right now.”
Jim Ross gave a small nod, backing him up.
Jim Ross: “We’ve got enough on our plate without adding more noise. Let’s stay focused on what we actually need to book for tomorrow and Sunday.”
Cowboy looked around the room one more time.
Cowboy Watts: “Any other questions that aren’t about shit that’s already been handled?”
After Cowboy shut down the Wendy conversation, the room stayed quiet for a few seconds before the questions started coming again.
Joan Rivers spoke up first, not bothering to sugarcoat anything.
Joan Rivers: “Okay, so we’re just supposed to pretend the Wendy situation doesn’t exist? Fine. But what about tomorrow? You’re saying there’s a good chance we still won’t have a ring for the go-home show? How the hell are we supposed to run a show without a ring two weeks in a row? The crowd’s already getting restless.”
Arnold Palmer raised his hand slightly, looking genuinely confused.
Arnold Palmer: “I’m still trying to understand the Sterling situation. If he’s not in any condition to drive on Friday… are we just supposed to ignore that? Or are we going to have to come up with some kind of explanation on the show? Because if we keep saying he’s coming back and he doesn’t show up, won’t that hurt us more in the long run?”
Bill Parcells leaned forward, his voice low and direct.
Bill Parcells: “And what about Butterbean? You told us he burned down a whole hotel. Are we really just gonna act like that didn’t happen? Because if the cops start digging and that shit comes back on us, we’re all in trouble. What’s the plan there?”
Sarah Palin spoke up next, her tone straightforward.
Sarah Palin: “Yeah, and on that note — if we’re trying to keep things quiet, is it really smart to have Emma going after Nicki Minaj in that kind of segment? I mean, I get wanting to get heat on her, but that feels like it could blow up in our faces real fast if we’re not careful.”
Joan jumped back in before anyone could answer.
Joan Rivers: “And while we’re at it — this whole Emma and Taylor thing. You said you’ve already talked to Emma and she’s on board. But how are we actually gonna explain her turning on Sterling and going after the people around him? Because right now it just sounds like she’s attacking a guy who’s half-dead in a hospital bed. That’s not just heat, that’s gonna make people think she’s completely heartless.”
Cowboy looked around the table, clearly getting annoyed with the back-and-forth.
Cowboy Watts: “Jesus Christ. One at a time. We’re not gonna solve everything in the next five minutes.”
Jim Ross raised a hand to settle things down.
Jim Ross: “Let’s slow down. We’ve got a lot to go over, but we’re not gonna get anywhere if everybody’s talking over each other. Let’s take it one thing at a time.”
Cowboy Watts: “Alright, here’s what we’re doing on Sunday. I want the go-home show tomorrow built around this, so everybody pay attention.”
He looked around the room before continuing.
Cowboy Watts: “Main event is Taylor Swift against Emma Watson. Emma’s turning full heel. We’re done with that polite, good-girl bullshit. She goes out there and beats Taylor clean — makes her look soft and in over her head. After the match, we rebrand Emma as a nasty UK chav. The kind of bitch who’ll knock your lights out and then rob you while you’re laid out.”
Jim Ross nodded, flipping through the notes in front of him.
Jim Ross: “Yeah, that lines up with what we talked about earlier. She’s gotta come across mean. No more of that UN spokesperson stuff.”
Arnold Palmer looked down at his own notes and spoke up.
Arnold Palmer: “I’ve got the same thing written down. Emma needs to look completely different after Sunday.”
Cowboy kept going.
Cowboy Watts: “Co-main is Kristen Bell against Florence Pugh in that ‘Eat My Shit’ match. Florence has been eating cheese for two weeks straight and she’s all stopped up. She can’t win because she can’t shit. We make her look stupid and weak while Kristen looks strong. It’s an embarrassment match for Florence.”
He glanced at his notes again.
Cowboy Watts: “Tag match is The iCarlys against Boxxy and Anya. Anya leaves Boxxy for dead again. JoJo Siwa makes the save, runs off the iCarlys, then turns around and beats the hell out of Anya for ditching Boxxy.”
Jim Ross nodded again.
Jim Ross: “We’ve also got Pam Beesly making her debut. She comes out, talks shit to the crowd, says she can beat anybody, and throws out an open challenge. Mila Kunis comes out through the crowd, beats her bad, and then cuts a real nasty promo on her while she’s getting stretchered out. Calls her an ugly old bitch and brags about fucking Jim.”
Arnold looked at his notes and added,
Arnold Palmer: “I’ve got that written down too. It’s a strong debut for Mila.”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “And we open with Mariska. She thanks the fans for sticking with us, tells the competition we’re coming for them, and announces that we’re gonna start a tournament to crown the first CBWL Champion.”
After Cowboy finished laying out the PPV direction, he looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. Let’s hear it. What do you all think?”
Tony was the first to speak, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.
Tony Soprano: “It’s fine. The Emma and Taylor stuff makes sense. We turn Emma, she beats Taylor clean, and we move on. The rest of the card is whatever. The ‘Eat My Shit’ match is stupid as hell, but if that’s what we’re doing, then fine. Just don’t expect me to get excited about it.”
Joan Rivers didn’t hold back.
Joan Rivers: “The main event’s good. Emma turning and beating the hell out of Taylor works. But that Florence match? Jesus. We’re really gonna have a grown woman who can’t shit on pay-per-view? And we’re calling it an ‘Eat My Shit’ match? It’s not edgy, it’s just gross. And the Pam Beesly debut feels like a throwaway. Mila beats her and talks shit? Okay. But what’s the point of bringing Pam in if we’re just gonna squash her in her first appearance?”
Jim Ross spoke next, keeping his tone measured.
Jim Ross: “I think the main event direction is solid. Emma needs to look like a real threat after this, and beating Taylor clean helps with that. I also like the idea of using Sterling’s condition to build heat on her. But I do think we need to be careful with how far we push the Nicki and Sterling stuff. It’s one thing to get heat on Emma… it’s another to make the audience too uncomfortable. As for the rest of the card, it’s fine. Nothing special, but it fills the time.”
Elena was the last to speak, her voice calm and direct as usual.
Elena Ceaușescu: “The main event works. Emma turning and destroying Taylor is the right move. The rest of the card is secondary. The Florence match is embarrassing, which is the point. The tag match sets up JoJo turning on Anya, which we can use later. The Pam segment is fine for what it is. My only concern is Sterling. If we’re going to use his condition to build Emma, we need to make sure it actually lands. Right now it still feels a little thin.”
Cowboy looked around the table again.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. So we’ve got some notes. Let’s start figuring out how we’re gonna build tomorrow’s show around all this. Who’s got ideas on how we open, and how we’re gonna handle the Emma and Taylor stuff leading into Sunday?”
Elena spoke up after the agents had given their initial thoughts.
Elena Ceaușescu: “Before we start breaking down the go-home show, I had my people put together some information on both Taylor and Emma. Arnold has the reports.”
She nodded at Arnold Palmer, who adjusted his glasses and opened the folder in front of him.
Arnold Palmer: “Alright… let’s see what we’ve got here.”
He flipped through the first few pages.
Arnold Palmer: “Emma Watson. Born in Paris, raised in England. Rose to fame with the Harry Potter films. Graduated from Brown University. Very outspoken about feminism and women’s rights. UN Women Goodwill Ambassador. Launched that HeForShe campaign. She’s kept a pretty clean image overall, but there’s been some online criticism over the years about her being out of touch or leaning too hard into certain causes.”
He turned to the next section.
Arnold Palmer: “Taylor Swift. Massive global star. Known for writing songs about her personal life and relationships. Has had several very public disputes over the years — with other artists, with her old record label, with Scooter Braun. She’s spoken openly about feeling like she has to stay in control of her own narrative. Huge, very loyal fanbase. Also keeps a very tight grip on her public image.”
Arnold looked up from the papers.
Arnold Palmer: “So… what are we looking for here? Ways to create some friction between them?”
Elena nodded.
Elena Ceaușescu: “Exactly. We need something we can use on the go-home show to make their match feel personal. Something that gives Emma a reason to go after Taylor, and something Taylor can fire back on.”
Jim Ross leaned forward slightly.
Jim Ross: “Well, Emma’s already turning into this smug, preachy type. If we lean into that, maybe she starts taking shots at Taylor for being too calculated. Or for using her personal life for attention. Something along those lines.”
Tony spoke up from his seat, sounding unimpressed.
Tony Soprano: “Or we just have Emma call her soft. Say she’s never had to actually fight for anything. That she’s used to everyone kissing her ass because she’s Taylor Swift. That could work.”
Joan Rivers raised an eyebrow.
Joan Rivers: “Or we go the other way. Have Emma act like she’s above all of Taylor’s drama. Like she’s too smart and too important to be dealing with some pop star who writes songs about her ex-boyfriends. That fits the holier-than-thou character we’re giving her.”
Arnold flipped through a few more pages.
Arnold Palmer: “There’s also the whole thing about both of them being very controlled with their public image. Maybe Emma accuses Taylor of being fake. Or Taylor accuses Emma of being a hypocrite for preaching about women supporting women while she’s out here tearing people down.”
Elena looked around the table.
Elena Ceaușescu: “We don’t need it to be too complicated. We just need something that feels real enough for the audience to buy into. Give me some options we can use tomorrow.”
Cowboy leaned forward and started laying out the opening of the go-home show.
Cowboy Watts: “We open with Mariska. She’s already in the ring when the show starts — lights are dimmed. She’s wearing something purple and strapless. She apologizes to the crowd for the second week in a row with no ring. Keeps it short, then shifts into talking about hard-working men just trying to do their jobs while society keeps kicking them down.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “She ties it into Sterling. Says he wishes more than anything he could be out there driving the truck tomorrow because he knows how much this company means to the fans. She puts it on society and the system for holding him down when all he wants to do is work. Then, in honor of Sterling and to wish him a better recovery, she announces that there’s gonna be a major announcement at the PPV on Sunday regarding the future of CBWL.”
Jim Ross nodded slowly as he wrote it down.
Jim Ross: “So we’re using Sterling’s absence to build sympathy and buy ourselves some time in case he’s not ready by Sunday.”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. This gives us breathing room. If he’s still not in any shape to show up on Sunday, we’ve already set it up that there’s gonna be some kind of big announcement anyway. And it also gives us space to focus on the Emma stuff later in the show without having to rush anything with Sterling.”
Arnold Palmer looked at his notes.
Arnold Palmer: “So Mariska’s positioning Sterling as this hardworking guy who’s being held back by forces outside his control?”
Cowboy Watts: “That’s right. Makes the fans feel for him. Makes Emma look even worse when she starts blaming him and going after people connected to him later in the night. We’re setting her up as the one kicking a man while he’s down.”
Elena nodded once.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It works. It gives us flexibility and sets up Emma’s character at the same time.”
Cowboy looked around the table.
Jim Ross: “Any other ideas on how we can make this promo stronger? I think the bones are there, but I’m open to tightening it up or adding some layers.”
Joan Rivers spoke up first, not holding back.
Joan Rivers: “Right now it feels a little soft. She’s apologizing and talking about hardworking men being held down, but it’s not hitting hard enough. If we want the audience to really feel for Sterling and turn on Emma later, Mariska needs to sound more pissed off. Less ‘poor Sterling’ and more ‘this is bullshit and someone’s responsible.’ She should hint that someone in this company is kicking him while he’s down without actually saying Emma’s name yet. Let the audience connect the dots themselves.”
Tony leaned forward and added his thoughts.
Tony Soprano: “She should talk less about ‘society’ and more about how some people in this business only care about themselves. Make it personal. Have her say that while Sterling’s laid up in a hospital bed, there’s people around here more worried about their own spot than whether or not he’s gonna make it. That way when Emma starts blaming him later, it feels like she’s one of those people.”
Elena nodded slightly.
Elena Ceaușescu: “We can also use this to quietly set up the Emma angle. Have Mariska say something about how some people are using Sterling’s absence as an opportunity instead of respecting what he’s been through. It plants the seed without being too on the nose.”
Arnold Palmer raised his hand like he was in a meeting.
Arnold Palmer: “What if she ends the promo by saying that no matter what happens, CBWL is going to do right by Sterling? That we’re not going to forget about the people who helped build this place? It makes her look like the voice of reason while also making anyone who goes after Sterling later look even worse.”
Bill Parcells spoke up next, his tone blunt as usual.
Bill Parcells: “Keep it short. The second she starts rambling, people are gonna tune out. Hit the apology, hit the hardworking man angle, tie it to Sterling, then hit the announcement about Sunday. Get in, get out, and let the rest of the show do the heavy lifting.”
Jim Ross nodded as he wrote a few things down.
Jim Ross: “All good points. We can tighten it up and make it hit harder without making it too long. Anyone else got anything?”
Jim Ross was still going over ways to tighten up Mariska’s promo when Cowboy suddenly cut in.
Cowboy Watts: “And while we’re talking about Mariska, I want her out there in something strapless. Purple, like I said before. I want the fans to see her body. She’s sixty-one years old and still looks better than half the women half her age on this roster. I want that on display.”
A few people at the table exchanged quick glances, but nobody said anything right away.
Cowboy Watts: “I’m serious. She’s been carrying herself like some classy, respectable authority figure. That’s fine for the character, but I want the audience reminded that she’s still got it. Strapless. Let ‘em see the arms, the shoulders, the chest. She’s not some young girl anymore, and that’s the point. I want people looking at her and thinking, ‘Goddamn, she still looks good for her age.’”
Jim Ross shifted in his seat slightly but kept his tone even.
Jim Ross: “…We can do strapless. Just make sure it still looks professional enough for an opening segment. We don’t want it coming off like she’s trying too hard.”
Cowboy Watts: “She’s not trying too hard. She’s sixty-one and she looks better than most of these young bitches running around here. I want that seen. Plain and simple.”
Elena didn’t react much, but she made a quick note on the pad in front of her.
Elena Ceaușescu: “We can have wardrobe put something together. Strapless, purple, form-fitting. It’ll work.”
Cowboy nodded, satisfied.
Cowboy continued laying out the show.
Cowboy Watts: “After Mariska’s promo, we go to Wendy interviewing Pam Beesly. Wendy does her usual thing — loud, all over the place, asking Pam what the hell she’s doing in CBWL, why she thinks she belongs here, all that shit. Pam plays it straight, talks some shit back, makes it clear she’s not here to play nice.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “After the interview, Wendy goes out to the plywood where the ring’s supposed to be. No ice this time, just the slabs. She’s out there waiting on her opponent, talking to the crowd, acting like she’s running the show. She waits… and waits… and it starts looking like nobody’s coming out.”
Jim Ross nodded, already seeing where this was going.
Jim Ross: “Then Mila comes out of the crowd.”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. Mila Kunis comes out through the crowd, no music at first, just slides in and jumps Pam from behind. She beats the absolute shit out of her. We don’t hold back on this. Mila stomps her, throws her into the plywood, whatever we can do to make it look nasty. Then once Pam’s laid out, Mila grabs a mic and cuts a promo.”
He leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “She talks about how she just fucked Jim. Straight up. Says Pam talks all that shit but she’s the one who actually took her man. Makes it personal, makes it nasty. We want the crowd to hate her for it. Then she drops the mic and leaves Pam laying there on the plywood.”
Joan Rivers raised an eyebrow.
Joan Rivers: “So Pam’s getting squashed in her first appearance?”
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah. But it’s not about making Pam look strong right now. It’s about getting heat on Mila and making her look like a real bitch. Pam can get her win back later. This is about establishing Mila as someone who doesn’t give a fuck.”
Elena nodded.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It works. We get Wendy involved without giving her too much, we debut Pam, and we make Mila look vicious. Clean segment.”
Cowboy looked around.
Cowboy Watts: “Anyone got notes on this before we move on?”
Joan Rivers spoke up after Cowboy finished explaining the Pam Beesly segment.
Joan Rivers: “I don’t know if this works. If we’re trying to get heat on Mila, why are we bringing Pam in just to have her get squashed in her first appearance? It feels like we’re wasting a debut.”
Tony leaned forward and cut in before anyone else could respond.
Tony Soprano: “Because the people in this office actually hate Pam. I’m telling you right now, nobody here gives a shit about her. They’ve been waiting for someone to knock her down a peg for years.”
Jim Ross looked genuinely confused.
Jim Ross: “Wait, hold on. I thought Pam was supposed to be a babyface?”
Arnold Palmer nodded, trying to explain.
Arnold Palmer: “Well, yeah… for people who don’t actually know her, she comes off as a babyface. But the ones who really know her? They think she’s kind of shitty. So this is actually a good spot to feed her to Mila. Last week we had that ugly bitch Donna out there in her granny panties getting embarrassed, and now Pam’s out here fucking Jim? She thought she was gonna cuck him, but look at her. She looks terrible standing next to Mila. The audience is gonna love seeing Mila beat her ass.”
Tony nodded in agreement.
Tony Soprano: “Exactly. Nobody’s rooting for Pam here. They’re gonna be happy to see Mila stomp her out and talk shit about her. It’s an easy way to get heat on Mila without having to turn someone the fans actually like.”
Joan still didn’t look fully convinced.
Joan Rivers: “I get what you’re saying, but if we’re gonna do this, we need to make sure Mila’s promo actually lands. If it comes off too try-hard, it’s gonna backfire.”
Cowboy looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “So we’re all in agreement on feeding Pam to Mila then?”
Most of the table nodded, though Joan still looked a little skeptical.
Joan Rivers sat back for a second, thinking about what Tony and Arnold had just said. After a moment, she spoke up again.
Joan Rivers: “Alright, you know what? I was looking at this the wrong way. I was thinking we needed to protect Pam or make this feel competitive, but that’s not what this is. Mila’s one of those rare ones. Even when she does heel shit, she comes off like a badass. The crowd loves her for it. They’re gonna cheer her even while she’s stomping Pam out and talking about fucking Jim.”
She shrugged.
Joan Rivers: “It’s not often you get a heel that people root for no matter what, but that’s what Mila is right now. So fuck it. Let’s just go with it. Let her beat Pam’s ass, let her talk her shit, and let the crowd eat it up. We don’t need to force anything.”
Tony nodded, looking satisfied.
Tony Soprano: “Exactly. She’s got that ‘it’ factor. People are gonna love watching her be a bitch. No point in trying to turn her babyface or soften her up. Just let her cook.”
Jim Ross looked around the table.
Jim Ross: “So we’re all good on this then? Mila beats Pam, cuts the promo, and we move on?”
Most of the table nodded in agreement.
Joan Rivers: “Wait a second. Wasn’t this whole Pam and Mila thing supposed to happen at the PPV? Why are we doing it tomorrow instead?”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair and shook his head.
Cowboy Watts: “I changed my mind. I want it on the go-home show instead.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “We do the beatdown and the promo tomorrow. Then later in the night, once Mila’s already got the crowd behind her after stomping Pam, we set up her actual match for the PPV. That way we give her a real opponent on Sunday instead of just having her squash somebody and leave. It gives us something to actually build toward.”
Jim Ross nodded, seeing the logic.
Jim Ross: “So we’re using Pam as a way to get heat on Mila and then immediately giving her a real match for Sunday?”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. Pam’s just there to get beat up and make Mila look like a problem. Then we pivot and give Mila something real for the PPV. It keeps the momentum going instead of wasting it on a one-off squash.”
Elena nodded in agreement.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It works better this way. We get the visual of Mila being dominant on Friday, and then we can announce her PPV match the same night while the crowd is still hot on her.”
Cowboy looked around the room.
Cowboy Watts: “Anybody got a problem with moving it to tomorrow?”
No one objected.
Cowboy Watts: “Good. Then that’s how we’re doing it. Pam gets fed to Mila on the go-home show, and we set up Mila’s real match for Sunday later in the night.”
Jim Ross looked over at Cowboy.
Jim Ross: “Alright. What’s next?”
Cowboy flipped to the next page in his notes and kept going.
Cowboy Watts: “After that, we’re gonna cut to a shot of Sterling Marlin in a hospital bed. And listen — we’re not gonna shoot all them fuckin’ machines and tubes on him. That’s gonna make him look weak as hell. We’re gonna frame it to make him look strong. Like he’s just resting up, not on his deathbed.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Nicki Minaj is gonna be in the room with him. She’s gonna be giving him a lapdance and stroking his cock under the blanket. We’re hoping the crowd pops for it. If they don’t, we’ll just pump in some crowd noise. Either way, it’s gonna play.”
Jim Ross raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt.
Cowboy Watts: “This is the soap opera part. Nicki’s gonna talk about how CBWL relies on hard-working men like Sterling all across America. She’s gonna say she just knows he’s gonna be good to go by Sunday. Real emotional, real supportive. Like she believes in him.”
He leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “Then we’re gonna cut to Emma Watson watching from the shadows. She’s gonna have this disgusting little grin on her face, like she just got an idea. Real creepy, real calculated. Then we fade to black and go to commercial.”
He looked at everyone.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s the segment. It keeps Sterling in the audience’s mind without making him look helpless, it gives Nicki something to do, and it plants more seeds for Emma’s character. Any problems with it?”
Bill Parcells spoke up after Cowboy finished describing the hospital segment.
Bill Parcells: “What’s that whole thing supposed to lead to?”
Cowboy didn’t look up from his notes.
Cowboy Watts: “I’ll explain it after. Let’s keep moving for now.”
He flipped to the next page.
Cowboy Watts: “Next up, we got a match on the plywood boards. Kristen Bell versus Anya Taylor-Joy. Kristen’s gonna go over in a fucked finish. Nothing fancy, just something quick to get us through the segment.”
Jim Ross raised an eyebrow.
Jim Ross: “Any reason we’re doing it this way?”
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah. Kristen’s got her own match on the PPV Sunday, so she needs a win here to keep her momentum going. Anya, on the other hand, is probably getting written off at the PPV anyway, so it don’t really matter if she takes the loss. Same with Boxxy. Their wins and losses ain’t gonna mean shit after Sunday, so we can afford to use them however we need to right now.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “It’s a filler match, plain and simple. We need something to fill time on the go-home show, and this works. Kristen gets the win, Anya takes the loss, and we move on.”
Arnold Palmer looked at his notes.
Arnold Palmer: “So we’re not trying to build anything long-term with this match?”
Cowboy Watts: “Nah. Not with these two. We’re just getting through the show and protecting the people who actually matter for Sunday.”
Jim Ross spoke up after Cowboy finished explaining the Kristen Bell vs Anya match.
Jim Ross: “Instead of putting Anya in there with Kristen, what if we use Boxxy instead? That way we can get a little more out of the segment. We can have Anya at ringside, and then at some point she has a clear chance to help Boxxy… but she doesn’t. She just stands there and lets Kristen beat on her. Makes Anya look even more cowardly and selfish without having to do anything too complicated.”
Cowboy thought about it for a second and nodded.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s not bad. We can still have Kristen go over, but now we’re also getting some character work on Anya at the same time. Makes her look worse for not helping her own partner, and it plants more seeds for when JoJo eventually turns on her.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Anybody got a problem with switching it to Boxxy instead of Anya?”
No one spoke up against it.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright then. We’ll do Kristen Bell versus Boxxy on the plywood. Kristen gets the win, and we have Anya at ringside doing nothing while her partner gets beat. Keeps it simple but still gives us something to work with.”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “Yeah, that works better than just having Anya take the loss for no reason. At least now we’re building something with her character.”
Jim Ross looked over at Cowboy after the Kristen vs Boxxy match was locked in.
Jim Ross: “Before we move on… why are we bringing up JoJo Siwa right now?”
Cowboy looked up from his notes.
Cowboy Watts: “Because she’s already involved in the PPV. We got her making the save for Boxxy on Sunday and then turning around and beating the shit out of Anya. If we’re gonna do that, we might as well start planting some seeds tomorrow instead of just dropping her in cold on PPV night.”
Joan Rivers raised an eyebrow.
Joan Rivers: “So you want her to show up on the go-home show?”
Cowboy Watts: “Not necessarily in the match. But we can have her appear after the Kristen and Boxxy match. Maybe she comes out and checks on Boxxy after Anya leaves her hanging again. Just a quick moment to remind the audience she’s around and that she gives a shit about Boxxy, unlike Anya. That way when she actually gets involved on Sunday, it doesn’t come out of nowhere.”
Jim Ross nodded slowly.
Jim Ross: “That makes sense. It gives us a little more story instead of just throwing her into the PPV cold. We can keep it short — she doesn’t even have to say anything. Just show up, help Boxxy to the back, and stare down Anya on the way out.”
Elena spoke up.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It’s smart. It makes Anya look worse for abandoning Boxxy twice, and it makes JoJo look like the one who actually cares. Then when she turns on Anya at the PPV, it’ll hit harder.”
Cowboy looked around.
Cowboy Watts: “So we’re good on having JoJo appear after the match tomorrow? Just a quick moment, nothing big.”
Most of the table nodded.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. We’ll add that in. Now let’s keep moving.”
Jim Ross nodded after hearing the suggestion about JoJo appearing on the go-home show, but before anyone could fully agree, Cowboy spoke up.
Cowboy Watts: “Nah. Scratch that. We’re not gonna have JoJo show up tomorrow.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “If we have her come out on the go-home show, even for just a second, it takes away from the surprise when she makes the save at the PPV. I want that to hit clean on Sunday. If the audience already sees her involved on Friday, it won’t feel as big when she runs in to help Boxxy. Let’s keep her off TV until the PPV.”
Jim Ross nodded in agreement.
Jim Ross: “That’s fair. We don’t want to tip our hand too early. Better to keep it a surprise.”
Elena also seemed on board.
Elena Ceaușescu: “Agreed. The save will land harder if nobody’s expecting it. We’ll leave JoJo out of the go-home show completely.”
Cowboy looked back down at his notes.
Cowboy Watts: “Good. Then we’re keeping it clean. No JoJo tomorrow. We’ll save her for Sunday.”
Arnold Palmer flipped through his notes, adjusting his glasses as he started going over everything that had been discussed so far.
Arnold Palmer: “Alright, let me just make sure I’ve got all of this straight. We’re opening the show with Mariska in the ring under dim lights, wearing something purple and strapless. She’s going to apologize for not having a ring again, talk about hardworking men being held down by the system, tie it into Sterling, and then announce that there’s going to be a big announcement at the PPV on Sunday regarding the future of CBWL.”
He flipped the page.
Arnold Palmer: “After that, we’re doing a segment with Wendy interviewing Pam Beesly. Wendy does her usual loud, all-over-the-place interview style. Then Pam goes out to the plywood where the ring should be, waits for an opponent that doesn’t show up, and then Mila Kunis comes out of the crowd and beats her up. After that, Mila cuts a promo about how she slept with Jim. We’re doing this on the go-home show instead of the PPV so we can set up Mila’s actual match for Sunday later in the night.”
He continued down his list.
Arnold Palmer: “Then we have Kristen Bell versus Boxxy on the plywood boards. Kristen’s going over in a quick, messy finish. We’re doing this because Kristen has a match on the PPV and needs the win, while Boxxy and Anya’s wins and losses don’t really matter since they’re probably getting written off at the PPV anyway.”
Arnold turned another page.
Arnold Palmer: “We’re also doing a hospital segment with Sterling. We’re not going to show all the machines on him so he doesn’t look weak. Nicki Minaj is going to be in the room giving him a lapdance and… well, you know. She’s going to talk about how CBWL depends on hardworking men like Sterling and how she knows he’ll be ready by Sunday. Then we cut to Emma watching from the shadows with a creepy smile before fading out.”
He looked up from his notes.
Arnold Palmer: “And we’re keeping JoJo Siwa completely off the go-home show so her involvement at the PPV stays a surprise. Is that everything so far, or am I missing something?”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “That’s pretty much everything we’ve locked in up to this point.”
Cowboy looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Next up, another match on the plywood. Jennette McCurdy versus Florence Pugh. Florence is gonna go over, but it’s gonna be a fluke win. Nothing clean. We want it to look like she barely scraped by.”
Jim Ross nodded, already seeing where this was headed.
Jim Ross: “So we’re using this to show that The iCarlys aren’t unbeatable?”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. We plant the idea that they could actually lose on Sunday. At the same time, we start showing that Florence’s constipation is kicking in. She’s moving slower, she’s uncomfortable, she’s clearly not 100%. We don’t overdo it yet, but we want the audience to start noticing that something’s off with her.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “After the match, Wendy’s gonna do a post-match interview with Florence. While they’re talking, the two of them are just sitting there eating cheese together like it’s nothing. Florence is stuffing her face with it, and Wendy’s right there with her. It’s stupid, but it reinforces that Florence is still eating the cheese and digging herself deeper into this problem before her match with Kristen on Sunday.”
Joan Rivers raised an eyebrow.
Joan Rivers: “So we’re really gonna have them just sitting there eating cheese on TV?”
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah. It’s dumb, but it works. It makes Florence look like an idiot for not realizing what she’s doing to herself, and it keeps the constipation storyline alive without having to explain it too much.”
Arnold Palmer looked at his notes.
Arnold Palmer: “And this also protects The iCarlys a little bit since Jennette’s taking the loss here, not both of them.”
Cowboy Watts: “Right. Jennette can eat the loss. It doesn’t hurt them too bad, but it does make them look beatable heading into Sunday.”
He looked around the room again.
Cowboy Watts: “Any issues with this before we keep moving?”
Jim Ross looked over at Cowboy after he finished explaining the Jennette vs Florence match.
Jim Ross: “Before we keep going, I gotta ask — how are we actually gonna establish the ‘Eat My Shit’ match stipulation for Sunday? Right now it just feels like it’s coming out of nowhere.”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair and thought for a second.
Cowboy Watts: “We can set it up on the go-home show. After Florence gets her fluke win over Jennette, we have her do a post-match interview with Wendy. While they’re sitting there eating cheese together like idiots, Kristen Bell comes out and interrupts.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Kristen calls Florence out for running her mouth and acting like she’s some big deal, when really she’s been stuffing her face with cheese for two weeks and can barely function. Florence, being dumb and full of herself, starts talking shit back. That’s when Kristen proposes the stipulation.”
He continued.
Cowboy Watts: “Kristen says if Florence is so confident, then they should make it an ‘Eat My Shit’ match at the PPV. Florence, not really thinking it through and still riding the high of her fluke win, agrees to it on the spot. She doesn’t fully realize what she’s walking into until it’s too late.”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “So we establish the match on Friday through Florence’s own stupidity. That way it doesn’t feel like it’s being forced on her.”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. It makes Florence look like an idiot for agreeing to it, and it gives Kristen the moral high ground heading into Sunday. Plus, it reinforces that Florence is digging her own grave with all the cheese she’s been eating.”
Elena spoke up.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It works. We can even have Florence brag in the interview about how she’s unstoppable now that she got a win, which makes her agreeing to the stipulation feel even dumber.”
Cowboy looked around.
Cowboy Watts: “Anybody got a problem with setting it up like that?”
Joan Rivers: “I don’t love the idea of Kristen just walking out there and forcing this stipulation on Florence. It makes her look like she’s taking advantage of the situation. I think it would work better if Mariska was the one putting this match together. Like she’s the one hoisting it on both of them for whatever reason.”
Tony nodded in agreement.
Tony Soprano: “Yeah, Joan’s right. If Kristen’s the one pushing for it, she just comes off like an opportunist. But if Mariska’s the one making this match happen, then it feels more like she’s got her own reasons for doing it. Maybe she’s trying to punish Florence, or maybe she’s trying to send some kind of message. Either way, it makes more sense than Kristen just deciding this on her own.”
Jim Ross looked between them.
Jim Ross: “So instead of Kristen proposing the stipulation in the interview, we have Mariska come out and make the match official? Like she’s stepping in and forcing both of them into it?”
Joan Rivers: “Exactly. It keeps Kristen from looking like a snake, and it gives Mariska a little more edge. Plus, it makes Florence look even dumber for running her mouth and ending up in a match she clearly doesn’t want.”
Tony shrugged.
Tony Soprano: “Works for me. Let Mariska be the one calling the shots. Makes the whole thing feel more official instead of just Kristen bullying Florence into it.”
Cowboy thought about it for a second, then nodded.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. We can do it that way. Mariska makes the match on the go-home show instead of Kristen. Keeps everyone looking a little cleaner.”
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah, that works better. Florence shouldn’t see this coming. She’s been walking around like her constipation isn’t a big deal, like it’s not gonna affect anything. She has no idea that not being able to shit or fart is gonna become a real problem in this business.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “So here’s how we do it. After Florence gets her fluke win over Jennette, she does the post-match interview with Wendy. They’re sitting there eating cheese together, Florence is running her mouth, acting like she’s on top of the world now that she got a win. While that’s happening, Mariska comes out.”
He leaned forward slightly.
Cowboy Watts: “Mariska’s pissed. She’s heard through the grapevine that Florence hasn’t been doing enemas or taking care of herself like she should. So instead of just letting Florence celebrate, Mariska steps in and punishes her on the spot. She tells Florence that since she wants to act like her body issues aren’t a problem, she’s gonna make it one. Then she officially makes the ‘Eat My Shit’ match for the PPV right there in the interview.”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “So Florence is completely blindsided. She thought she was just getting a win and moving on, and now Mariska’s forcing her into a match where she’s at a massive disadvantage.”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. It makes Florence look stupid for not taking care of herself, and it makes Mariska look like she’s running a tight ship. She’s not gonna let people slack off or embarrass the company, even if it means putting them in a fucked up match.”
Elena spoke up.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It also protects Kristen. She’s not the one forcing the stipulation — Mariska is. So Kristen still looks strong without looking like she’s taking advantage of Florence’s situation.”
Cowboy looked around.
Cowboy Watts: “Anybody got a problem with doing it this way?”
No one objected.
Cowboy Watts: “Good. Then that’s how we’re setting up the match. Florence gets the win on the go-home show, then gets completely blindsided by Mariska and forced into the ‘Eat My Shit’ match for Sunday.”
After some back and forth about the Kristen Bell and Florence Pugh situation, Jim Ross spoke up.
Jim Ross: “I just want to make something clear before we keep moving. I know we’ve got Taylor Swift and Emma Watson on the roster — two massive names — but Kristen Bell is in a different category. She’s technically a Disney Princess. That kind of star power is huge, and it’s something this company can build around long-term. She could very well end up being the face of this promotion if we play our cards right.”
Cowboy nodded in agreement.
Cowboy Watts: “He’s right. We can turn Emma into a star, and Taylor’s obviously a big name, but Kristen’s got that Disney machine behind her. That’s mainstream appeal that most of these girls don’t have. We need to protect her a little more than the others. She’s not just another wrestler on the roster — she’s got real crossover value. If we do this right, she could be the one carrying this company in a year or two.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “That’s why we’re giving her the win tomorrow and making sure she looks strong heading into Sunday. We’re not just booking for this week — we’re thinking about what she can be for us down the line.”
Jim Ross added one more thing.
Jim Ross: “We’ve got a lot of big names here, but not all of them have the same kind of reach. Kristen does. We’d be stupid not to take advantage of that while we can.”
Cowboy looked back down at his notes.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. With that out of the way, let’s keep moving. What’s next on the show?”
Cowboy Watts: “After the Kristen and Boxxy match, we cut to Taylor Swift in the ring. She’s out there shaking her ass for the crowd, doing her usual babyface thing. She starts talking about how the hospital was killing Sterling and how fucked up it is. She thanks Nicki Minaj for what she’s doing with him and says she’s gonna take over for her later — then she winks at the camera like it’s some kind of inside joke.”
He flipped a page in his notes.
Cowboy Watts: “She asks the crowd if they wanna see her shake her ass to the Cha-Cha Slide, then she actually does it for a bit. Real over-the-top babyface shit. Then, while she’s still dancing, the screen cuts out and we go backstage.”
He looked up.
Cowboy Watts: “We cut to Emma Watson choking the shit out of Nicki Minaj with the straps she ripped off Sterling’s truck. She’s beating the hell out of her — just stomping her and throwing her around. Then she straps Nicki down to one of those hospital gurneys and takes off running full speed down the hallway with it before crashing it down a flight of stairs.”
Jim Ross raised an eyebrow.
Jim Ross: “So we’re really gonna have Emma run Nicki down the stairs on a gurney?”
Cowboy Watts: “Yeah. We don’t have to show Sterling, but it’s implied he’s hooked up somewhere in the building. The whole point is to make Emma look completely unhinged. She’s not just going after people — she’s going after anyone who’s trying to help Sterling. It makes her look evil as fuck.”
Elena nodded.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It works. It shows how far Emma is willing to go. She’s not just talking anymore — she’s actively trying to hurt people connected to Sterling.”
Cowboy looked around.
Cowboy Watts: “Any issues with this?”
No one spoke up against it.
Cowboy Watts: “Good. Then we’re doing it that way. Taylor does her dancing babyface promo, then we cut to Emma beating the shit out of Nicki and sending her down the stairs. That’s the segment.”
Elena spoke up after Cowboy finished describing the segment.
Elena Ceaușescu: “I want Sterling in this. We went through a lot of trouble to get him out of that hospital. If we’re going to use him to build heat on Emma, we need to actually show him. Not just talk about him.”
Jim Ross nodded in agreement.
Jim Ross: “She’s right. We’ve already gone through all this trouble to pull him out and keep him around. If we’re gonna make the audience care about what’s happening to him, we need to see him on screen. Otherwise it just feels like we’re talking about him without showing anything.”
Cowboy thought about it for a second, then gave a small nod.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. We can do a 2 for 1 deal then.”
He looked around the table as he laid it out.
Cowboy Watts: “We still do the Taylor promo in the ring — her shaking her ass, doing the sob story about Sterling, thanking Nicki and saying she’ll take over for her later, then dancing to the Cha-Cha Slide. While she’s still out there, we cut backstage.”
He continued.
Cowboy Watts: “We see Emma beating the shit out of Nicki Minaj. She’s stomping her and throwing her around. Then Emma cuts a promo talking shit on Sterling — saying he’s weak, that he’s holding everyone back, that he should’ve just died in the hospital. While she’s talking, she dumps Sterling out of the bed and onto the floor, leaving him laying there like a piece of shit. Then she straps Nicki down to the bed and pushes the whole thing down the stairs with her still on it.”
The room was quiet for a moment.
Cowboy Watts: “After that, we cut back to Taylor in the ring. She sees what just happened on the screen and immediately runs to the back to check on Sterling.”
Elena nodded, satisfied.
Elena Ceaușescu: “That works. It shows how far Emma is willing to go and makes her look even more evil. And it actually uses Sterling instead of just talking about him.”
Jim Ross didn’t look thrilled, but he didn’t argue.
Jim Ross: “It’s dark as hell, but it’ll get the reaction we want. Taylor running to the back to help him also makes her look sympathetic.”
Cowboy looked around.
Cowboy Watts: “Anybody got a problem with doing it this way?”
No one spoke up.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright then. That’s the segment. Taylor does her promo, we cut to Emma beating Nicki and dumping Sterling on the floor before pushing Nicki down the stairs, then Taylor runs to the back. We’ll lock that in.”
Cowboy Watts: “After we come back from commercial, we go backstage. Taylor Swift, Mariska, and Wendy are all together. Wendy’s crying over Sterling — real emotional, real messy. Mariska’s trying to keep it together, but she’s clearly pissed about what just happened.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Mariska officially makes the match for Sunday between Taylor and Emma. Then she tells Taylor that if she can get to Emma before they leave the building, she’s fully authorized to take her out. No repercussions. Taylor takes off running.”
He continued.
Cowboy Watts: “We follow Taylor as she hauls ass to the parking garage. She gets there just in time to see Emma peeling out in her car. Taylor’s too late. Emma’s already gone.”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “Then we end the show with a slow pan over Sterling’s truck. We show all the damage — tires slashed, windows busted, the whole thing fucked up. We linger on it for a few seconds before we fade out. That’s the last thing the audience sees before we go off the air.”
Jim Ross nodded.
Jim Ross: “So we’re ending the show on that image. Taylor too late, Sterling’s truck destroyed, and Emma getting away.”
Cowboy Watts: “Exactly. It leaves the audience pissed off and wanting to see what happens on Sunday. Taylor couldn’t stop her tonight, but now she’s got a real reason to go after Emma at the PPV.”
Elena nodded in approval.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It works. It makes Emma look like she got away with it, and it gives Taylor more motivation heading into Sunday. Ending on the truck is smart — it reminds everyone what Emma did without having to say it.”
Cowboy looked around.
Tony Soprano: “That ending’s too soft. We need more of a finish. If Emma’s getting away, let’s make it clear somebody helped her. Have Miranda Cosgrove show up and help her get out of there. Then, after Taylor sees it, she turns around and beats the shit out of Miranda before rushing back to Sterling’s side.”
Cowboy looked over at him.
Cowboy Watts: “So Miranda’s the one helping Emma escape?”
Tony Soprano: “Yeah. She shows up, helps Emma get to her car, and they peel out together. Taylor sees the whole thing, loses it, and stomps the fuck out of Miranda. Leaves her laying in the parking garage. Then she runs back to check on Sterling. It gives us a clean, nasty finish and makes Taylor look like she’s got her priorities straight.”
Jim Ross nodded slowly.
Jim Ross: “It works. It gives Miranda a reason to be involved without overcomplicating things, and it gives Taylor a strong babyface moment at the end. Beating up Miranda also makes it clear she’s not just focused on Emma — she’s willing to go after anyone helping her.”
Elena seemed to like the idea as well.
Elena Ceaușescu: “It adds another layer. Miranda helping Emma escape makes her look just as guilty. And Taylor beating her down before going back to Sterling reinforces that she’s the one who actually cares about him.”
Cowboy thought about it for a second, then nodded.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. We’ll do it that way. Miranda helps Emma get away, Taylor beats the shit out of her in the parking garage, then runs back to Sterling. That’s how we end the show.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Anybody got a problem with that?”
Jim Ross: “Alright, here’s the full go-home show in the right order.”
He started from the top.
Jim Ross: “We open with Mariska in the ring under dim lights, wearing something purple and strapless. She apologizes for not having a ring for the second week in a row, talks about hardworking men being held down by the system, ties it into Sterling, and announces there will be a major announcement at the PPV on Sunday regarding the future of CBWL.”
He continued.
Jim Ross: “After that, we go to Wendy interviewing Pam Beesly. Wendy does her usual loud, chaotic interview. Pam then goes out to the plywood, waits for an opponent that doesn’t show up, and Mila Kunis comes out of the crowd and beats the shit out of her. Mila cuts a promo about how she fucked Jim.”
He moved on.
Jim Ross: “Next is Kristen Bell versus Boxxy on the plywood. Kristen goes over in a fluke finish. Anya is at ringside but doesn’t help Boxxy.”
He kept going.
Jim Ross: “After that match, we go to the hospital segment with Sterling. We’re not showing all the machines so he doesn’t look weak. Nicki Minaj is in the room giving him a lapdance and stroking his cock under the blanket. She talks about how CBWL relies on hardworking men like Sterling and says she knows he’ll be ready by Sunday. Then we cut to Emma Watson watching from the shadows with that creepy grin before fading out.”
Jim Ross flipped the page.
Jim Ross: “After we come back from commercial, we go to Jennette McCurdy versus Florence Pugh on the plywood. Florence gets a fluke win. After the match, Wendy does a post-match interview with Florence while the two of them eat cheese together. During the interview, Mariska comes out and forces the ‘Eat My Shit’ match on Florence for Sunday as punishment.”
He continued.
Jim Ross: “After that, we go to Taylor Swift in the ring. She’s shaking her ass for the crowd, doing the sob story about Sterling, thanks Nicki Minaj for what she’s doing, says she’ll take over for her later and winks at the camera, then asks the crowd if they want to see her shake her ass to the Cha-Cha Slide and dances for a bit.”
Jim Ross kept going.
Jim Ross: “While Taylor is still in the ring, we cut backstage to Emma Watson beating the shit out of Nicki Minaj. Emma uses the straps from Sterling’s truck, beats her down, then dumps Sterling’s body out of the bed and onto the floor. After that, she straps Nicki to the gurney and pushes it down the stairs with her still on it. We cut back to Taylor in the ring — she sees what happened and immediately runs to the back to check on Sterling.”
He looked up.
Jim Ross: “After we come back from commercial, we go backstage where Taylor, Wendy, and Mariska are together crying over Sterling. Mariska officially makes the match for Sunday and tells Taylor that if she can get to Emma before they leave the building, she’s fully authorized to take her out. Taylor takes off running to the parking garage, but Emma is already peeling out. The only person left is Miranda Cosgrove, who was helping Emma escape. Taylor beats the shit out of Miranda and leaves her laying next to Sterling’s vandalized truck. We end the show on that image.”
Jim Ross closed his notes.
Jim Ross: “That’s the full show in the correct order. Anything we still need to fix?”
Cowboy looked around the table after they finished recapping the go-home show.
Cowboy Watts: “Before we keep building out the rest of tomorrow’s show, I got a question. Out of the matches we’ve got planned for Sunday, which ones haven’t been officially announced yet on TV?”
Jim Ross thought for a second before answering.
Jim Ross: “Well, the main event is already being built — Taylor and Emma have been going at it all night. The ‘Eat My Shit’ match between Kristen and Florence is being set up on the go-home show when Mariska forces the stipulation. And the Pam Beesly debut is happening tomorrow with Mila attacking her, so that’s already in motion.”
He flipped through his notes.
Jim Ross: “The only match we’ve got planned for the PPV that hasn’t been announced or built on TV yet is The iCarlys versus Boxxy and Anya. We’ve talked about it in here, but we haven’t done anything with it on the show yet. JoJo’s involvement is still a surprise too.”
Elena nodded.
Elena Ceaușescu: “That’s the one. Everything else has either been built or is being set up on the go-home show. That tag match is the only one that’s still quiet.”
Cowboy leaned back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. So the iCarlys versus Boxxy and Anya is the only PPV match that hasn’t been announced yet. We’ll need to figure out if we want to plant any seeds for it tomorrow or just let it drop cold on Sunday.”
He looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Any thoughts on that before we move on?”
After they finished locking in the last of the segments, Cowboy leaned back in his chair and looked around the table.
Cowboy Watts: “Alright. I think that just about does it for now. Let’s break for lunch and pick this back up after.”
Jim Ross made a face and shook his head.
Jim Ross: “I’m not hungry. All this talk of shit… I’ve heard enough about it for one day.”
Tony let out a short laugh and nodded in agreement.
Tony Soprano: “Tell me about it. I’ve been dealing with enough of that shit — literally — these last couple days. I could go without hearing the word for a while.”
Cowboy smirked and stood up.
Cowboy Watts: “Fair enough. We’ll pick it back up in an hour. Don’t go too far.”
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