Jim Cornette’s Drive-Thru June 11, 2026 CBWL Gas South Arena Review – Segment by Segment
Brian Last: Alright Jim, you said you wanted to go through this show one segment at a time instead of just doing one big rant. So let’s do it that way. First segment of the night — Taylor Swift opens the show with a tribute to Sterling Marlin and explains why there’s no ring.
Jim Cornette: Oh, wonderful. We’re starting off with a pop star doing a tribute to a guy who’s supposedly in the hospital because the ring truck didn’t show up. That’s how you open a wrestling show in 2026? With a girl in a latex catsuit telling everybody the ring’s not here because some old race car driver wrecked? This already feels like a fucking clown show and we haven’t even gotten to the first match yet.
Brian Last: She did the “DRIVE ME STERLING” thing on her ass and then they had her do “The Locomotion” to stretch the segment.
Jim Cornette: Of course they did. Because when you don’t have a ring and your show already looks cheap as hell, the best thing you can do is have a pop star dance around in the middle of a spray-painted circle on some plywood like she’s at a goddamn birthday party. That’s not an opening segment, Brian. That’s covering up the fact that you don’t have your shit together. And the crowd was quiet as hell until she started doing the little dance routine. Then they clapped because at least something was happening. That’s not a good sign.
Brian Last: So you didn’t like the opening at all?
Jim Cornette: I didn’t like the fact that they had to explain why there was no ring to begin with. That’s already a bad start. And then instead of doing something that actually felt like a wrestling show, they had Taylor Swift do karaoke in the middle of the floor. If this is how they’re starting the night, I can only imagine how much worse it’s gonna get.
Brian Last: Alright, let’s move on to the next one. After Taylor, Mariska Hargitay calls the four girls who showed up unbooked into her office and tells them they’re wrestling in a bathroom stall later.
Jim Cornette: Oh good. We’re doing office segments now. Because nothing says “professional wrestling promotion” like dragging four girls into an office and yelling at them for showing up without being booked. And then telling them they’re gonna fight in a toilet. This is already off to a great start.
Brian Last: Alright, next segment. After Taylor’s opening, we go backstage to Mariska Hargitay’s office. She calls in the four girls who showed up unbooked — Boxxy, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jennette McCurdy, and Miranda Cosgrove — and tells them they’re wrestling in a handicap bathroom stall later that night as punishment.
Jim Cornette: Oh, fantastic. So we’re doing punishment segments now. We’re dragging four women into an office and scolding them like they’re children who got caught skipping class. And then we tell them they’re gonna fight in a toilet. This is what we’re doing in 2026? This is professional wrestling?
Brian Last: Mariska was pretty cold and authoritative in the segment. She laid down the law and told them the match was happening whether they liked it or not.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, and that’s the problem. It didn’t feel like a wrestling angle. It felt like a fucking HR meeting. Mariska’s standing there in her little power suit reading them the riot act while they just stand there like they’re in detention. The only one who even tried to say anything was Boxxy, and she got shut down immediately. The rest of them just stood there like wet blankets. There was no heat, no fire, no back-and-forth. It was just Mariska talking down to them for three minutes.
Brian Last: It did set up the bathroom match later, though.
Jim Cornette: It set it up in the most boring way possible. “You showed up without being booked, so now you’re wrestling in a toilet.” That’s the big angle? That’s what we’re supposed to care about? And then she tells them their match is next like she’s announcing a fucking dentist appointment. This segment did nothing for me. It was flat, it was boring, and it made everybody involved look bad — especially the four girls who just stood there and took it like they didn’t have a spine between them.
Brian Last: So you hated it.
Jim Cornette: I didn’t hate it. I was just bored by it. And in a wrestling show, being bored is worse than being mad. At least if I’m mad, I’m invested. This just made me want to fast-forward.
Brian Last: Next up on the show is the bathroom tag match. Boxxy and Anya Taylor-Joy versus Jennette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove. Stipulation is escape the stall to win. This one got pretty ugly.
Jim Cornette: (already raising his voice) Oh, here we fucking go. This is the one that’s got everybody talking, and not in a good way. They put four women in a handicap bathroom stall and told them to fight like it’s a goddamn cage match. And then they had Jennette and Miranda shove Boxxy’s head in the toilet and hold her underwater until she stopped moving. Medical had to come in and give her CPR. What in the blue hell are we even doing here?!
Brian Last: It wasn’t a cage match though, it was a bathroom stall.
Jim Cornette: It might as well have been a cage match, Brian! Because they treated it like one! They had an “escape the stall” rule, which is the stupidest fucking finish in the world! If you’re gonna put people in a confined space and tell them to fight, why the fuck would you make the finish “escape”? That completely kills any drama! If the goal is to win by escaping, then why the hell would you stay in there and fight? The psychology is completely backwards! This is basic fucking wrestling 101!
Brian Last: They had Anya escape first, but the bell didn’t ring, so Jennette and Miranda turned on Boxxy and drowned her in the toilet.
Jim Cornette: (getting louder) And that’s the other problem! If the finish is escape the stall, then why the fuck didn’t the bell ring when Anya got out?! That’s false finish bullshit for no reason! And then instead of making it a tag match, they just had two girls gang up on one while the other one stands outside like a fucking coward! Where’s the psychology in that?! There is none! The booking is all fucked up!
Brian Last: There’s also a lot of heat over the fact that the toilet apparently hadn’t been flushed all day.
Jim Cornette: Oh, I heard about that too. Sheri L. Dew used it earlier in the day, and supposedly Sarah Silverman was encouraging her. And then they dunk Boxxy’s head in it. Now I’m sitting here wondering — was the shit in that toilet even kosher? Because if Sarah Silverman was involved, I’ve got questions. This is the kind of shit that makes wrestling look like a bunch of fucking idiots. You’re telling me nobody thought to check the toilet before they put four women in there to fight? Nobody thought, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have somebody’s head in a toilet that’s been used all day”?
Brian Last: Anya also got some criticism for just standing there after she escaped.
Jim Cornette: She looked like a goddamn coward! She climbs out of the stall, the bell doesn’t ring, and instead of going back in to help her partner, she just stands there like she’s waiting for a bus! What the fuck was that?! Even in a bullshit match like this, you don’t just leave your partner to get beat up while you stand outside doing nothing! That’s not how tag team wrestling works! That’s not how any of this works!
Brian Last: A lot of people are also asking who Boxxy even is.
Jim Cornette: (fully raging now) WHO THE FUCK IS BOXXY?! That’s what I wanna know! Who the fuck is Boxxy and what makes her a wrestler?! What makes her a celebrity?! I’ve never heard of this bitch in my life! She shows up unannounced, gets put in a match, gets her head shoved in a toilet full of piss and shit, and now we’re supposed to care about her? This is the problem with this whole fucking company! They’re throwing random internet people and actresses into matches with no buildup, no story, and no reason for us to give a shit! And then they wonder why nobody’s watching!
Brian Last: So safe to say you hated this segment.
Jim Cornette: I didn’t just hate it, Brian. I’m embarrassed by it. This is the kind of shit that makes wrestling look like a fucking joke. And the worst part is, they probably thought this was edgy and cool. It wasn’t. It was stupid, it was dangerous, and it made everybody involved look bad. Especially the people who booked it.
Brian Last: Before we move on, I feel like we should probably explain who Boxxy even is, because a lot of people might not know.
Jim Cornette: Oh god, here we go…
Brian Last: So Boxxy, whose real name is Catie Wayne, became famous back in 2009 from these weird webcam videos she posted on 4chan. She had this really hyper, awkward, kind of manic energy and for some reason it went viral. She became this weird early internet meme. People were obsessed with her for a little while. Then she kind of disappeared for years and now she’s showing up in CBWL.
Jim Cornette: (already getting loud) So let me get this straight. This girl became famous because she made some weird videos on 4chan, and now we’re supposed to accept her as a wrestler? Are you fucking kidding me?! This is exactly what’s wrong with wrestling today! We’ve got people who became famous for making faces at a webcam fifteen years ago now getting put in matches and having their heads shoved in toilets! What the fuck does that have to do with wrestling?!
Brian Last: Well, to be fair, a lot of people in this company aren’t traditional wrestlers.
Jim Cornette: (fully raging now) I don’t give a shit! At least some of them have some kind of background or reason to be there! This girl was an internet meme! And now she’s in a wrestling match getting drowned in a toilet and I’m supposed to take this seriously?! I’m glad they put her head in the shitter! I’m glad! Maybe next time she’ll think twice before showing up somewhere she doesn’t belong!
Brian Last: You’re really turning on her, huh?
Jim Cornette: Damn right I am! I don’t even know who the fuck she is and now I’m supposed to care that she got her head dunked in a toilet full of piss and shit?! Move on! Let’s talk about something else! This is stupid!
Brian Last: Alright, alright… but real quick, when was the first time you ever saw an “escape the stall” stipulation in a match?
Jim Cornette: (pauses, clearly annoyed) …What?
Brian Last: The finish. Escape the stall to win. When was the first time you remember seeing something like that? Escape the cage, escape the building, stuff like that.
Jim Cornette: Brian, I swear to God, if you bring this back to Boxxy after this I’m hanging up. The first time I saw an escape the cage match was probably some bullshit in the territories back in the day. It was stupid then and it’s stupid now. The whole point of a cage match is to keep people in, not give them a way out! But of course in this fucking company they take a stupid old idea and make it even dumber by putting it in a bathroom stall!
Brian Last: And Anya was the one who escaped first but then just stood there while Boxxy got drowned.
Jim Cornette: (cutting him off, yelling) I SAID MOVE ON, BRIAN! Jesus Christ! I don’t wanna talk about Boxxy anymore! I don’t wanna hear about 4chan or webcams or whatever the fuck she did in 2009! I don’t care! She got her head shoved in a toilet and I’m glad! Can we please talk about something else before I have a fucking stroke?!
Brian Last: (laughing) Alright, alright. We’ll move on.
Jim Cornette: Thank you. Goddamn.
Brian Last: Next up is a short backstage segment with Emma Watson and Hilary Duff. They have a conversation where they both say they want to have a real match and aren’t going to hold back.
Jim Cornette: (sighs) Alright, so we’ve got two women who aren’t wrestlers having a nice little chat about wanting to have a “real match.” That’s cute. That’s adorable. Meanwhile, the rest of us are sitting here wondering why the fuck these two are even in a wrestling ring to begin with.
Brian Last: It was pretty calm and professional. They came across like they respected each other but still wanted to go hard.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, and that’s the problem. It was too nice. Too polite. If you’re gonna put two non-wrestlers in a main event, at least give them some fucking heat. Make it personal. Make it nasty. Instead, they’re out here talking like they’re about to go play tennis or some shit. “I respect you, but I’m not gonna hold back.” Who gives a fuck? This is wrestling, not a goddamn debate club.
Brian Last: It did set up the idea that they were going to have a serious match though.
Jim Cornette: It set up the idea that this company has no idea what the fuck it’s doing. You’ve got two actresses who don’t know how to work, and instead of giving them something simple and physical that they can actually do, you have them cut a calm little promo about “respect” and “real matches.” That’s not how you build a main event. That’s how you put people to sleep.
Brian Last: The crowd was pretty quiet during it.
Jim Cornette: Of course they were! Because it was boring! There was no heat, no tension, no reason to care. It was just two women standing there talking like normal people. In a wrestling show. If I wanted to watch two women have a polite conversation, I’d go to a fucking book club. This did nothing for me.
Brian Last: So you didn’t like it at all.
Jim Cornette: I didn’t like that it existed. It was a waste of time. It didn’t build any heat, it didn’t make me want to see the match more, and it didn’t make either of them look like they belonged in a wrestling ring. It was just there. And in wrestling, “just there” is the worst thing you can be.
Brian Last: Before we move on to the next segment, I want to show you something real quick. I think it’ll help explain who Boxxy actually is.
Jim Cornette: (suspicious) …What are you about to show me?
Brian Last: I’m gonna play one of the original Boxxy videos. The ones that made her famous back in 2009 on 4chan. Just so you can see what we’re dealing with here.
Jim Cornette: Oh Jesus Christ. Fine. Play it. Let’s get this over with.
(Brian plays one of the original Boxxy webcam videos. It’s the one where she’s hyper, talking fast, making weird faces, with the heavy eye makeup and the manic energy.)
Jim Cornette: …What the fuck am I watching?
Brian Last: That’s her. That’s Boxxy. This is what made her famous.
Jim Cornette: (getting louder) This?! This is what made her famous?! She’s just sitting there making faces at a camera like a goddamn lunatic! What is this?! This looks like a 12-year-old who got into her mom’s makeup and then had a goddamn seizure on webcam! This is the person they’re putting in wrestling matches?!
Brian Last: Yeah. This video went mega-viral on 4chan back in the day. People were obsessed with her.
Jim Cornette: (fully pissed off now) Obsessed with this?! Brian, this is the most annoying thing I’ve ever seen in my life. She’s talking a mile a minute, making weird faces, and acting like she’s on fucking meth. And this is who they decided to put in a wrestling match and have her head shoved in a toilet?! I don’t even know what I’m looking at anymore. This isn’t a wrestler. This isn’t a celebrity. This is some weird internet gremlin who got famous for being annoying on a webcam!
Brian Last: So… not a fan?
Jim Cornette: Not a fan?! Brian, I want to go back in time and personally unplug that webcam. This is the kind of shit that makes me lose faith in humanity. And now she’s in a wrestling company getting drowned in a toilet while the rest of us have to sit here and pretend this is normal. I’m done. I’m fucking done with this whole thing already.
Brian Last: (laughing) Alright, alright. I’ll turn it off.
Jim Cornette: Good. And if you ever play that shit again, I’m walking out. Let’s move on before I have an aneurysm.
Brian Last: Alright, next segment. After the bathroom match, we get a short backstage conversation between Emma Watson and Hilary Duff. They talk about wanting to have a real match and not holding back.
Jim Cornette: (sighs heavily) Oh good. More talking. Because that’s exactly what this show needed after four women fought in a toilet — two more women standing around having a calm little chat like they’re about to go do yoga or some shit.
Brian Last: It was pretty straightforward. They both said they wanted to have a real match and that they weren’t going to hold back. It had a little bit of an edge to it.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, a little edge. That’s the problem. It was too polite. Too respectful. If you’re gonna put two non-wrestlers in a main event, at least give them some fucking heat. Make it nasty. Make it personal. Instead, they’re out here talking like they’re coworkers who are about to have a performance review. “I respect you, but I’m not gonna hold back.” Who gives a shit? This is wrestling, not a goddamn HR meeting.
Brian Last: It did set up the idea that the main event was going to be serious.
Jim Cornette: It set up the idea that this company has no idea how to build a main event. You’ve got two women who don’t know how to work, and instead of giving them something simple and physical, you have them cut a calm little promo about “respect.” That’s not how you make people want to see a match. That’s how you put the audience to sleep.
Brian Last: The crowd was pretty quiet during it.
Jim Cornette: Of course they were! Because it was boring as hell! There was no heat, no tension, no reason to give a damn. It was just two women standing there talking like normal people. In a wrestling show. If I wanted to watch two women have a polite conversation, I’d go watch The View. This did absolutely nothing for me.
Brian Last: So overall, not a fan.
Jim Cornette: Not even a little bit. It was a waste of time. It didn’t build any heat, it didn’t make either of them look like they belonged in a wrestling ring, and it didn’t make me want to see the main event any more than I already didn’t. It was just there. And in wrestling, “just there” is the worst thing you can be.
Brian Last: Next up is a backstage interview with Florence Pugh and Wendy Williams. Florence is eating a big brick of cheese like it’s a sandwich while Wendy questions why she’s stress-eating dairy the night before what’s supposed to be an important appearance.
Jim Cornette: (already sounding tired) Oh good. We’re doing food bits now. Because nothing says “serious wrestling promotion” like a girl stress-eating cheese backstage while another girl interviews her about it. This is what we’re doing?
Brian Last: It was pretty light. Wendy was calling her out on it and Florence was just kind of playing dumb and saying she was hungry. It got some laughs.
Jim Cornette: Of course it got laughs. It’s a stupid bit. But that doesn’t mean it was good. This is the kind of shit that makes wrestling look like a fucking comedy show instead of a wrestling show. You’ve got a girl who’s supposed to be making her debut soon, and instead of building her up or making her look like she belongs, you’ve got her out here eating cheese like a goddamn raccoon while Wendy Williams roasts her. What the fuck are we even doing here?
Brian Last: It did make Florence look a little ditzy and unprepared.
Jim Cornette: It made her look like a fucking idiot. And not in a good way. There’s a difference between playing a character who’s a little lost and just making someone look like they have no idea what the fuck is going on. This crossed that line. And the fact that they’re leaning into this “clueless girl eating cheese” thing makes me think they don’t have any real plans for her. They’re just throwing random shit at the wall and hoping something sticks.
Brian Last: Wendy looked pretty rough too. A lot of people backstage were saying she needs more work done.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, well, if you’re gonna put someone on camera interviewing people, at least make sure they don’t look like they just crawled out of a grave. But that’s a whole other problem. This whole segment was just dumb. It was filler. It didn’t build anything, it didn’t mean anything, and it made everybody involved look worse than they did before it started.
Brian Last: So not a fan.
Jim Cornette: Not even a little bit. It was stupid, it was pointless, and it made me want to fast-forward.
Brian Last: Next up is the concession stand brawl between Mila Kunis and Laura. This one got pretty nasty.
Jim Cornette: Oh good. Another brawl in a random part of the building. Because that’s what wrestling needs — more women fighting next to nacho cheese and deep fryers like they’re in a goddamn bar fight instead of a wrestling ring. This company really hates rings, don’t they?
Brian Last: Mila came in hot. She slapped Laura right away and just beat the shit out of her the whole time. She threw her around, dumped cheese on her, ripped her pants off, and finished her with a spinning heel kick.
Jim Cornette: (sighs) Look, I’ll give Mila this — she actually looked like she wanted to hurt the girl. She came in aggressive and didn’t let up. That part was fine. But everything else about this was just stupid. They’re fighting in a concession stand, she dumps cheese on her, rips her pants off and shows her granny panties to the world… what the fuck are we even doing here? This isn’t wrestling. This is some weird fetish shit.
Brian Last: The granny panties spot got a big reaction from the crowd.
Jim Cornette: Of course it did! Because it’s embarrassing as hell! But that doesn’t make it good. It just makes it shocking. And in wrestling, shocking for the sake of being shocking is lazy booking. You’ve got two women fighting in a concession stand, one of them gets her pants ripped off, and now we’re supposed to take this seriously? This is what happens when you let people who don’t understand wrestling try to book wrestling. It turns into a fucking circus.
Brian Last: Mila did look pretty dominant though.
Jim Cornette: She did. I’ll give her that. She looked mean and she looked like she belonged out there more than most of the people on this show. But even that gets overshadowed by the stupid shit around it. The cheese, the panties, the whole “fighting in a concession stand” thing… it’s all just dumb. It’s not edgy. It’s not cool. It’s just stupid.
Brian Last: Laura looked pretty bad by the end.
Jim Cornette: She looked like a fucking joke. And that’s the problem. You can’t just bury somebody this hard and expect people to care about them later. Once you rip a girl’s pants off and show her granny panties on national television, that’s the image that sticks. That’s not heat. That’s just humiliation for the sake of humiliation. And it makes the whole company look trashy as hell.
Brian Last: Before we move on, I gotta ask you something about that granny panties spot. Did you “get” it? Because I heard that Arnold Palmer was completely lost on it during the post-show meeting.
Jim Cornette: (already annoyed) Did I get it? Brian, I understood what they were going for. I just think it was fucking stupid. But go ahead, tell me about Arnold.
Brian Last: From what I heard, Arnold didn’t understand why the granny panties were such a big deal. He was trying to compare it to golf or something. So they had to sit there and explain the whole That ‘70s Show thing to him — that Laura played Donna, Mila played Jackie, and there was this whole history with Donna being the “ugly ginger” who got memed for wearing granny panties on the show.
Jim Cornette: (laughs angrily) Of course Arnold didn’t get it. The man’s been retired from golf since before most of these people were born. What the fuck does he know about That ‘70s Show? They had to sit there and explain to him that the spot only worked because of some old sitcom from twenty years ago? That’s the problem right there! If you have to explain the punchline of your angle to one of your own agents after the show, then the angle was probably shit to begin with!
Brian Last: They said he kept trying to compare it to golf rivalries and stuff. Like he couldn’t wrap his head around why the underwear mattered.
Jim Cornette: Because it doesn’t fucking matter! That’s the whole issue! They’re out here doing this deep-cut That ‘70s Show reference like anybody under 30 gives a shit, and then they’re surprised when an old man doesn’t get it. This is what happens when you book for the smarks and the internet instead of normal people. You end up with spots that only make sense if you watched some sitcom in 2005. And then you have to sit there after the show and explain it like you’re teaching a history class. It’s embarrassing.
Brian Last: So even though you understood the reference, you still didn’t like the spot.
Jim Cornette: I understood it and I still hated it. Just because something has a “reason” behind it doesn’t make it good. They ripped a girl’s pants off and showed her granny panties in the middle of a concession stand. That’s not clever. That’s not edgy. That’s just trashy. And the fact that they had to explain it to Arnold afterward just proves how out of touch the whole thing was.
Brian Last: Fair enough. You wanna move on?
Jim Cornette: Please. Before I have to hear any more about Arnold Palmer trying to understand 2000s sitcom lore.
Brian Last: Real quick, before we move on — have you ever actually seen the That ‘70s Show episode where Donna wears the granny panties?
Jim Cornette: (scoffs) No, Brian. I have not seen the episode where the tall redhead from that show wore ugly underwear. And you know why? Because I don’t give a flying fuck about That ‘70s Show! I was busy actually watching wrestling back then, not some goddamn sitcom about kids smoking weed in a basement.
Brian Last: So you didn’t watch it.
Jim Cornette: Of course I didn’t watch it! Why the hell would I? I don’t need to watch some 2000s TV show to know that ripping a girl’s pants off and showing her granny panties in the middle of a wrestling match is stupid. I don’t care what the “lore” is. I don’t care that it was a callback to some episode from fifteen years ago. It’s still a dumb, trashy spot that made the whole company look like a fucking joke.
Brian Last: But a lot of people online and in the crowd seemed to get the reference and liked it.
Jim Cornette: Of course the internet marks liked it. They love this shit. They love when wrestling does deep-cut references to old TV shows like it’s some kind of clever easter egg. But here’s the problem — most normal people who watch wrestling don’t give a shit about That ‘70s Show. They don’t know who Donna is, they don’t know who Jackie is, and they sure as hell don’t care about some episode from 2006 where somebody wore ugly underwear. All they saw was a girl getting her pants ripped off in a concession stand. That’s it. And that’s all most people are gonna remember.
Brian Last: So even if you understood the reference, you still think it was bad.
Jim Cornette: I understood it and I hated it. Just because something has a “reason” behind it doesn’t make it good wrestling. This was lazy, it was cheap, and it made the whole show look like a goddamn circus. And the fact that they had to explain it to Arnold Palmer afterward just proves how out of touch the whole thing was.
Brian Last: Speaking of Arnold Palmer… have you ever actually met him? Or watched him play back in the day?
Jim Cornette: (scoffs) Met him? Watched him play? Brian, when Arnold Palmer was in his prime, I was busy traveling with The Midnight Express and trying to keep Bobby Eaton from killing himself on some stupid bump. Then I was running Smoky Mountain Wrestling, dealing with a bunch of green kids and trying to keep the doors open every week. I didn’t have time to sit around watching golf. I was too busy actually working in wrestling.
Brian Last: So you were never really into golf?
Jim Cornette: Not even a little bit. While Arnold Palmer was out there hitting little white balls around a grass field, I was in the back of a car driving eight hours to the next town with a bunch of wrestlers who smelled like beer and regret. I was cutting promos, putting together finishes, and trying to make sure the boys didn’t get arrested before we made it to the building. I didn’t have time to worry about what some golfer was doing on a Sunday afternoon.
Brian Last: Fair enough. I just figured since Arnold’s name came up in the meeting, maybe you had some kind of connection.
Jim Cornette: The only connection I have with Arnold Palmer is that we were both working while most of these people on this show were still in diapers. And unlike him, I didn’t retire to go play golf. I stayed in this goddamn business and watched it turn into whatever the hell CBWL is supposed to be. So no, Brian. I never met Arnold Palmer. I was too busy doing real work.
Brian Last: Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.
Jim Cornette: Good. Can we please move on to the next segment before I have to hear any more about golfers and internet memes?
Brian Last: Real quick, before we move on — have you ever actually met any golfers in your life?
Jim Cornette: (sighs) I’ve met a couple over the years, mostly at charity events or when they were doing some crossover bullshit back in the day. But I never went out of my way to hang around them. I was too busy working.
Brian Last: Got it. So speaking of golfers… do you think Arnold Palmer is gonna put in a good word for Tiger Woods? Maybe try to bring him into CBWL in some capacity?
Jim Cornette: (pauses, then starts laughing angrily) Are you fucking serious right now? Tiger Woods? In CBWL? Brian, what the fuck would Tiger Woods even do in that shitshow? Is he gonna come out and cut a promo about his ex-wife while some girl in a latex catsuit dances behind him? Is he gonna wrestle? Is he gonna manage? What role are we even talking about here?
Brian Last: I don’t know, maybe a celebrity appearance or something? Or maybe as a special guest referee?
Jim Cornette: (fully worked up now) A special guest referee?! Brian, Tiger Woods has never been in a wrestling ring in his life! The man swings a golf club for a living! What the fuck is he gonna do? Stand there with a yellow shirt on and count to three while two girls fight in a bathroom stall? This is the kind of stupid shit that happens when you let non-wrestling people run a wrestling company. They start thinking, “Hey, let’s bring in Tiger Woods!” Like that’s gonna draw a fucking dime.
Brian Last: So you don’t think it’s a good idea.
Jim Cornette: It’s one of the worst ideas I’ve heard in a long time, and I’ve heard some bad ones. What’s next? Are we gonna bring in LeBron James to be the special enforcer for the next bathroom match? Or maybe get Tom Brady to come cut a promo about deflating balls? This is wrestling, not a fucking celebrity golf tournament. If Arnold Palmer wants to put in a good word for Tiger, he can tell him to stay the hell away from this mess. Tiger’s already got enough problems without getting involved in whatever the fuck CBWL is doing.
Brian Last: Fair enough. You wanna move on?
Jim Cornette: Please. Before I have to hear any more stupid crossover ideas.
Brian Last: Next up is a short pre-taped video update from JoJo Siwa. She talks about dealing with some personal stuff and says she’s not ready to come back yet.
Jim Cornette: (sighs) Oh good. Another video package. Because that’s exactly what this show needed — more filler. We already had a girl eating cheese backstage, now we’ve got another girl sitting on a couch telling us she’s “working on herself.” This is wrestling?
Brian Last: It was pretty short and straightforward. She thanked the fans for the support and said she’s hoping to be back soon.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, and it was about as exciting as watching paint dry. Look, I get that people have personal issues. I’m not saying she should be forced to wrestle if she’s not ready. But why the fuck are we putting this on TV? It didn’t build anything. It didn’t make me want to see her come back. It just reminded everyone that she’s not here. That’s it.
Brian Last: The crowd reaction was pretty mixed. Some people clapped, but a lot of them didn’t seem to care.
Jim Cornette: Of course they didn’t care! Because this segment didn’t give them a reason to. It was just another “I’m still healing, please be patient” video. These things only work if you’re actually building toward something. If she’s not coming back anytime soon, then stop wasting our time with these updates. Either bring her back or move on. Don’t keep dangling her in front of the audience like some kind of emotional support animal.
Brian Last: A lot of agents backstage felt the same way. They said these updates are starting to lose their impact.
Jim Cornette: Because they are! You can only do the “I’m still not ready but I miss you guys” video so many times before people stop giving a shit. At this point it just feels like they’re stalling. Either she’s coming back or she’s not. Stop dragging it out with these sad little videos and wasting everybody’s time.
Brian Last: Next up is a short pre-taped video update from JoJo Siwa. She talks about dealing with some personal stuff and says she’s not ready to come back yet.
Jim Cornette: (immediately dismissive) I fast-forwarded through that shit.
Brian Last: You didn’t even watch it?
Jim Cornette: Why the fuck would I? I saw the graphic come up that said “JoJo Siwa Update” and I hit the skip button. I don’t need to sit through another sad little video of some girl telling me she’s “working on herself” and “hopes to be back soon.” I’ve seen this shit a hundred times. It’s always the same. It doesn’t build anything, it doesn’t mean anything, and it just slows the show down.
Brian Last: A lot of people felt the same way. The crowd reaction was pretty mixed — some clapped, but most of them didn’t seem to care.
Jim Cornette: Of course they didn’t care! Because this segment didn’t give them a reason to. It was just another “please be patient while I figure my life out” video. These things only work if you’re actually building toward a return. If she’s not coming back anytime soon, then stop wasting everybody’s time with these updates. Either bring her back or move on. Don’t keep dangling her in front of the audience like some kind of emotional support segment.
Brian Last: Some agents backstage said these updates are starting to lose their impact.
Jim Cornette: Because they are! You can only do the sad “I miss you guys but I’m not ready yet” video so many times before people stop giving a shit. At this point it just feels like they’re stalling for time. Either she’s coming back or she’s not. Stop dragging it out with these boring little videos and fast-forward to something that actually matters.
Brian Last: So you skipped it completely.
Jim Cornette: Damn right I did. And I’d do it again.
Brian Last: Next up is a quick backstage bit with the referees. Larry David, Jack Black, Sarah Silverman, and Urkel do rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s going to referee the main event. Urkel ends up losing and freaking out about it.
Jim Cornette: (already sounding annoyed) Oh great. More comedy. Because that’s exactly what this show needed after a match in a toilet and a girl stress-eating cheese — four people standing around playing rock-paper-scissors like they’re in fucking middle school. This is wrestling?
Brian Last: It was pretty short. Larry made it clear he wasn’t reffing the main event again after the bathroom match, so they did rock-paper-scissors and Urkel lost. He started panicking about not having his glasses and messing up the count.
Jim Cornette: Of course he did. Because this company treats referees like they’re fucking clowns instead of actual officials. Look, I get that they were trying to do something light and funny to set up who was reffing the main event. But this was just stupid. You’ve got grown adults playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s going to officiate a match. That’s not clever. That’s not edgy. That’s just lazy writing.
Brian Last: It did get a couple laughs though.
Jim Cornette: It got laughs because Urkel was freaking out. That’s it. The rest of it was just filler. And the fact that they had to do this at all shows how little they think of referees in this company. In a real wrestling promotion, the referee is an important part of the match. Here, they’re treating them like they’re interchangeable comedy props. It’s disrespectful as hell.
Brian Last: So you didn’t like it.
Jim Cornette: I didn’t like that it existed. It was pointless, it was stupid, and it made the whole referee crew look like a joke. If you’re gonna have a segment with the refs, at least make them look like professionals instead of a bunch of idiots playing games in the back. This was just another example of this company not understanding how wrestling is supposed to work.
Brian Last: Before we move on from the referee stuff, I wanted to ask you something. In your career, who would you say were some of the best referees you’ve worked with, worked for, or hired? And who were some of the worst?
Jim Cornette: (thinks for a second) The best? Easy. Tommy Young. That man was a fucking artist in the ring. He knew exactly when to get involved and when to stay the hell out of the way. He could sell a bump better than half the wrestlers on the card, and he never tried to make himself part of the show. He was a referee, not a performer. That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Another one was Earl Hebner back in his prime. He was sharp, he was professional, and he knew how to work with the boys without getting in the way. He understood his role. That’s what made him good.
Brian Last: What about the worst?
Jim Cornette: (immediately) The ones who think they’re part of the fucking show. The ones who try to be cute, or do comedy, or make faces at the camera like anybody gives a shit about them. I’ve worked with referees who thought they were bigger stars than the wrestlers. That shit drives me insane.
And then you’ve got the ones who just don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Bad timing, standing in the wrong spot, missing spots, or trying to be the center of attention. I’ve fired referees for less. If you can’t do the job properly, you don’t belong in the ring.
Brian Last: Any names you want to throw out for the bad ones?
Jim Cornette: Nah, I’m not gonna name names from back in the day. But I will say this — if you’re a referee and you’re trying to get yourself over instead of helping the match, you’re doing it wrong. Your job is to make the wrestlers look good and keep the match moving. That’s it. If you can’t do that, then stay the fuck out of the ring.
Brian Last: Alright, we’re at the main event. Emma Watson vs Hilary Duff. Before we get into it though, I just want to point out — there was no ring tonight. It was just that big spray-painted circle on the plywood over the ice.
Jim Cornette: (annoyed) Yeah, I know there wasn’t a goddamn ring. I keep saying it out of habit because that’s what wrestling is supposed to have. But fine. There was no ring. There was a big circle drawn on some plywood like they were running a fucking middle school gym class. Let’s move on.
Brian Last: The match started with both women being pretty careful around that exposed ice in the middle.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, because they knew if they went down on it, it was gonna hurt. So they’re out there circling each other like they’re scared of the floor. That’s not psychology, that’s two people who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. They’re trying to wrestle, but they’re also trying not to burn themselves. It looked awkward as hell from the start.
Brian Last: It stayed pretty even for a while. They were trading basic holds and trying to stay away from the ice.
Jim Cornette: It was slow and it was ugly. They didn’t know how to work, so everything looked stiff and desperate. Every time they hit the plywood it sounded like somebody dropping a bag of bricks. And the crowd was sitting on their hands for most of it because nothing was happening. They were just waiting for one of them to do something stupid.
Brian Last: Eventually Hilary tried to lift Emma up for an over-the-head press, but she couldn’t hold her and they both went down on the ice.
Jim Cornette: There it is. The big spot. Hilary tries to do something she has no business doing, loses her grip, and they both go crashing down onto that ice. And of course Hilary takes the worst of it because she’s the one who fell backward. That’s what happens when you let two untrained women try to do big spots on a surface that can actually hurt them. It stopped being wrestling and turned into two people trying not to get seriously injured.
Brian Last: Emma ends up winning with a sit-out powerbomb.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, she hits the move and gets the three count. At that point, the match should’ve been over. But no. Emma decides she’s not done yet. She gets her hand raised, starts to leave, then turns around, grabs a microphone, and starts cutting a shoot promo on Hilary like they’re in a bar fight. Then Hilary spits in her face, and Emma decides to lock her in a Boston Crab right on the ice and hold it until Hilary’s screaming like she’s being murdered.
Brian Last: That’s when medical had to come out and stretcher Hilary out.
Jim Cornette: Because Emma decided to keep working after the fucking bell! That’s not a finish. That’s not a worked match. That’s one woman deciding she’s gonna hurt the other one for real. And now Hilary’s got chemical burns on her ass and lower back because Emma wanted to “go into business for herself.” This is the kind of shit that makes me lose my mind. The match is over. The bell rang. Go the fuck home. But no, she had to turn it into a goddamn street fight on live TV.
Brian Last: A lot of people backstage were saying there wasn’t any real heat between them going into the match.
Jim Cornette: Of course there wasn’t! They were fine earlier in the night. This wasn’t some long-standing grudge. This was Emma deciding on the fly that she was done playing by the rules. And now the company has to figure out what the hell to do with it. This is what happens when you put two people who don’t know how to work in a main event and then let one of them decide the finish on her own. It’s a fucking mess.
Brian Last: After Emma wins with the powerbomb, she doesn’t stop. She grabs a mic, cuts a shoot promo, Hilary spits in her face, and then Emma locks in The Watson Wall — that Boston Crab — right on the exposed ice and holds it until Hilary’s screaming in real pain. They had to stretcher her out afterward with chemical burns.
Jim Cornette: (voice rising) This is the part that makes me lose my fucking mind. This isn’t wrestling anymore. This is garbage wrestling. This is Nick Gage in ECW territory bullshit. This is the kind of stupid, dangerous, “let’s hurt each other for real” nonsense that people like me spent years trying to get rid of. You’ve got two women who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, and instead of keeping it simple, they decide to turn the match into a goddamn deathmatch on live television.
Brian Last: You’re comparing this to Nick Gage?
Jim Cornette: (fully worked up now) I’m comparing it to every stupid, reckless piece of shit who ever thought it was a good idea to hurt somebody for real in a wrestling ring! You think Nick Gage putting fluorescent light tubes over somebody’s head is bad? At least that’s a worked spot most of the time. This? This is Emma Watson deciding she’s gonna cook Hilary Duff’s ass on live TV with dry ice because she felt like it. Do you have any idea what chemical burns do to you? Do you?!
Brian Last: I know they’re bad, but—
Jim Cornette: (cutting him off) They fuck you up for life, Brian! That’s not some little red mark that goes away in a week. Chemical burns from dry ice can cause permanent nerve damage. They can cause scarring so bad that the skin never goes back to normal. They can cause chronic pain that lasts for years. You ever seen what happens when somebody gets a bad chemical burn on their ass and lower back? They can’t sit right. They can’t sleep right. They can have nerve pain for the rest of their goddamn life. And for what? So Emma Watson could feel like a badass for five extra minutes after the bell already rang?
Brian Last: A lot of people are saying she completely lost it.
Jim Cornette: She didn’t just lose it — she went full Nick Gage on live television! This is the kind of shit ECW used to do back in the day when they were trying to be “extreme.” And even then, most of those guys knew when to pull back. This? This was just stupid. This was reckless. This was two people who don’t belong in a wrestling ring to begin with deciding to turn a match into a real fight with real consequences. And now Hilary Duff’s got chemical burns on her ass and lower back that are gonna affect her for the rest of her life, all because Emma Watson wanted to “go into business for herself.”
Brian Last: You think this is worse than regular garbage wrestling?
Jim Cornette: At least in garbage wrestling, most of the time the guys know what they’re doing. They know how to work the weapons, they know how to protect each other. This? This was two untrained women throwing each other on ice like it was a fucking parking lot brawl. And one of them decided to keep going after the match was over. That’s not wrestling. That’s not even garbage wrestling. That’s just two rich girls who don’t know any better hurting each other for real while the rest of us have to sit here and pretend this is normal.
Brian Last: Strong words.
Jim Cornette: It deserves strong words! This is the kind of finish that makes wrestling look like a bunch of fucking idiots. And the fact that they’re even talking about leaning into this instead of coming down on Emma for what she did tells you everything you need to know about how this company is run. This isn’t wrestling. This is a goddamn embarrassment.
Brian Last: Real quick, before we move on from the main event — has there ever been a dry ice spot in wrestling before? Like, has anybody ever actually used dry ice in a match to burn somebody like that?
Jim Cornette: (thinks for a second) Not that I can remember. And I’ve seen a lot of stupid shit in this business.
Dry ice has been used plenty of times for visual effects — entrances, fog machines, making the ring look cold or mysterious. But actually using it as a weapon? Actually putting somebody on it so it burns them? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. And there’s a reason for that.
Brian Last: Why do you think that is?
Jim Cornette: Because it’s fucking stupid and dangerous, that’s why! Dry ice isn’t like regular ice. It’s not just cold — it’s chemically cold. It can cause serious burns, nerve damage, and scarring if it touches skin for too long. This isn’t some work. This is actual damage. Even in the worst days of ECW, even when guys like Nick Gage and the rest of those deathmatch lunatics were cutting each other open with light tubes and thumbtacks, I don’t remember anybody ever saying “Hey, let’s throw some dry ice in the ring and cook each other’s asses.”
Brian Last: So this is new?
Jim Cornette: It’s new in the sense that I’ve never seen it done like this in a regular wrestling match before. And I hope to God I never see it again. This isn’t a spot. This is two people who don’t know what they’re doing turning a match into a real injury. Hilary Duff’s got chemical burns on her ass and lower back now because of this. That’s not wrestling. That’s not even garbage wrestling. That’s just reckless.
Brian Last: You think any promotion has ever come close to something like this?
Jim Cornette: Not with dry ice, no. I’ve seen people use regular ice in hardcore matches before — putting people in ice baths, throwing ice at them, stuff like that — but even then, it was never done in a way that was meant to cause real burns. This? This was stupid. This was unnecessary. And the fact that they let it happen in a main event tells you everything you need to know about how little control this company has over its own show.
Brian Last: Before we wrap this up, Jim, you got an email during the break. You want me to read it?
Jim Cornette: (sighs) Go ahead. Let’s hear what some genius has to say about the show.
Brian Last: Alright, here we go. This one’s from somebody named “CBWL4Life69.” It says:
“dear jim and brain you two are so fuking gay fr fr. you dont like the huge fake tits on cbwl so that means your gay asf. cbwl is the best wrestling ever made and you two boomers just dont get it. jim your racist as hell and brian your jewish so both of you can go kys. real wrestling fans love cbwl and all the hot girls and the crazy shit they do. you two are just haters. go die.”
Jim Cornette: (stares blankly for a second, then starts laughing angrily) Are you fucking serious right now? This is what we’re dealing with? Some kid with a goddamn 9th-grade reading level is out here typing death threats with one hand while jerking off to fake tits with the other?
Brian Last: He really went in on both of us.
Jim Cornette: Oh, he went in. I’m racist now. You’re Jewish now. And we’re both gay because we don’t like watching women get their heads shoved in toilets and their pants ripped off on live television. That’s the logic we’re working with here. This is the kind of brilliant mind that thinks CBWL is the greatest wrestling promotion of all time.
Brian Last: He also told us to go kill ourselves.
Jim Cornette: Of course he did! That’s what these little internet warriors do when they don’t like what you have to say. They hide behind a keyboard, type like they just learned how to spell last week, and send death threats like it’s gonna change anything. This kid probably thinks he’s a tough guy because he called us gay and told us to kys in the same email.
Brian Last: He really thinks we’re just “haters” who don’t get it.
Jim Cornette: We don’t get it because there’s nothing to get! This isn’t wrestling! This is a bunch of non-wrestlers doing stupid, dangerous shit while a bunch of marks sit at home jerking off to it and calling it “cinema.” And then they get mad when actual wrestling fans call it out for being garbage.
Brian Last: You want me to respond to him?
Jim Cornette: Nah. Let him stay mad. If the best argument he’s got is that we’re gay because we don’t like watching women fight in toilets, then he’s already lost. These are the same people who think putting dry ice in a wrestling ring so somebody can get chemical burns on their ass is “edgy.” They’re not wrestling fans. They’re just degenerates with Wi-Fi.
Brian Last: Before we wrap this up, I wanted to ask you about the commentary team from last night. They had Freddie Benson on play-by-play, Chelsea Handler on color, and Sofia Vergara as the third voice.
Jim Cornette: (already looking disgusted) Oh Jesus Christ. That’s the team? That’s who they put on commentary for a wrestling show? A nerdy little virgin from a kids’ sitcom, a loudmouth comedian who thinks she’s a wrestler now, and a Mexican actress who can barely speak English? This is who’s calling the action?
Brian Last: Freddie was trying to call it straight, like a traditional play-by-play guy, but he sounded really nervous and out of his depth the whole night.
Jim Cornette: Of course he did! Because he’s not a wrestling announcer! He’s some dorky little kid from a Disney show who’s never called a match in his life. You could hear it in his voice. He was trying so hard to sound like Joey Styles or Jim Ross, but he just came off like a nervous little boy who didn’t know what the fuck was going on. And every time something nasty happened, you could hear him getting uncomfortable. That’s not how you call a wrestling match.
Brian Last: Chelsea Handler was the one doing most of the color. She was pretty mean to Freddie the whole night. She kept roasting him and making fun of him on air.
Jim Cornette: Yeah, because she thinks she’s funny. But here’s the problem — she’s not a wrestling person. She doesn’t know how to call a match. All she knows how to do is be loud and bitchy. So instead of actually helping call the action or putting things into context, she just spent the whole night bullying the play-by-play guy like it was some kind of comedy show. That’s not color commentary. That’s just being an asshole on live television.
Brian Last: Sofia Vergara was the third voice. She had that really thick, broken English thing going on and kept making these weird, horny comments throughout the night.
Jim Cornette: (visibly annoyed) Oh, I heard that shit. She sounded like she was trying to flirt with Freddie the entire show while also struggling to speak English. It was embarrassing. And every time something nasty happened in the ring, she’d start moaning or making some stupid comment like she was getting turned on by it. That’s not wrestling commentary. That’s just trashy. We don’t need some actress with a fake accent sitting there talking about how wet she’s getting while two women are fighting in a toilet.
Brian Last: So overall, not a fan of the team?
Jim Cornette: Not even a little bit. Look, I’m old school. I believe the commentary team should help tell the story of the match, put things into context, and make the wrestlers look good. This team did none of that. Freddie was too green and nervous, Chelsea was too busy being a bitch to actually call the action, and Sofia sounded like she was auditioning for a porn parody instead of calling a wrestling show. It was unprofessional, it was annoying, and it made the whole product feel even cheaper than it already was.
Brian Last: You think they should replace them?
Jim Cornette: I think they should replace the whole fucking thing. Get some actual wrestling people on commentary. People who know how to call a match. People who understand psychology and storytelling. Not a bunch of celebrities and sitcom actors who think wrestling is just about being loud and saying stupid shit. This team was a joke.
Jim Cornette: He didn’t just sound confused — he sounded lost. He said something like “Anya got out… but the bell didn’t ring?” like he was asking the audience instead of telling them what was happening. That’s a basic fucking mistake. Your job as the play-by-play guy is to explain what’s going on, not act like you’re as confused as the fans. And then when Jennette and Miranda started drowning Boxxy in the toilet, he just kept saying “Oh my god” over and over like a little boy who walked in on his parents fucking. That’s not calling the action. That’s panicking on live television.
Brian Last: Chelsea didn’t help much either during that spot.
Jim Cornette: Chelsea was too busy being a bitch to actually call anything. While Boxxy was getting held underwater, Chelsea was making jokes and laughing like it was the funniest thing she’d ever seen. That’s not color commentary. That’s being a fucking ghoul. You’re supposed to help tell the story, not sit there cackling while somebody’s getting drowned in a toilet. It made her sound like a sociopath.
Brian Last: Sofia was making weird comments too.
Jim Cornette: Sofia sounded like she was getting turned on by it. She was moaning and saying shit like “Oh no… she stopped moving…” in that broken English voice like it was some kind of porno. It was disgusting. And the worst part is, nobody reined her in. Freddie was too busy having a panic attack, Chelsea was too busy being mean, and Sofia was just allowed to sit there and be horny on live TV while a girl was getting her head shoved in a toilet. That’s not a commentary team. That’s three people who have no business being on a wrestling show.
Brian Last: It got even worse in the main event.
Jim Cornette: Of course it did. When Emma and Hilary started using the ice and things got nasty, Freddie completely fell apart. He kept saying “Oh no” and “This is getting bad” like he was watching a car crash instead of calling a match. And when Emma went into business for herself after the bell and locked Hilary in that Boston Crab on the ice, he sounded like he was about to cry. That’s not how you call a finish — even a bad one. You’re supposed to stay professional and describe what’s happening, not have a nervous breakdown on air.
Brian Last: Chelsea was still being mean to him the whole time.
Jim Cornette: Chelsea spent the entire main event roasting Freddie instead of actually calling the match. While Emma was cooking Hilary on the ice, Chelsea was making fun of how nervous Freddie sounded. That’s not color. That’s just being an asshole. And Sofia was in the background moaning about how “brutal” it was like she was watching porn. It was embarrassing. The three of them together sounded like a bad improv group that wandered into a wrestling show by accident.
Brian Last: Any other big mistakes stand out to you?
Jim Cornette: The biggest mistake was putting these three on commentary in the first place. Freddie’s too green and nervous to be calling a show like this. Chelsea doesn’t know how to call wrestling and thinks being mean is the same thing as being good at color. And Sofia sounds like she’s trying to flirt with the audience while struggling to speak English. None of them know how to work together, none of them know how to tell a story, and none of them know when to shut the fuck up. It was a mess from start to finish.
Brian Last: Strong words.
Jim Cornette: They’re deserved. If you’re gonna put a show on television, at least have people calling it who know what the fuck they’re doing. This team didn’t. They made a bad show even worse.
Brian Last: Let’s zero in on one specific moment. During the concession stand brawl, when Mila ripped Laura’s pants down and exposed the granny panties. What did you think of how the commentary team handled that spot?
Jim Cornette: (immediately annoyed) Oh, that was a fucking disaster. Let’s break it down.
First of all, Freddie completely choked. The second those panties came out and the camera zoomed in, he went silent for a second and then just started stammering like a virgin who just saw his first pair of tits. He said something like “Oh… uh… those look like…” and then trailed off. That’s not calling the action. That’s having a nervous breakdown on live television. When something big happens in the ring — especially something as deliberate and mean as ripping somebody’s pants off — the play-by-play guy is supposed to react quickly and clearly. Freddie sounded like he was trying to figure out what planet he was on.
Brian Last: Chelsea didn’t exactly help either.
Jim Cornette: Chelsea was too busy being a fucking ghoul to actually call the spot. While the camera was zoomed in on Laura’s granny panties, Chelsea started laughing and saying how disgusting they were and how she was gonna throw up. Look, I get that the spot was meant to be humiliating, but you still have to call it like a professional. Instead, she sounded like some drunk bitch at a bar making fun of another woman’s underwear. That’s not color commentary. That’s just being mean for the sake of being mean. And it made the whole thing feel even trashier than it already was.
Brian Last: What about Sofia?
Jim Cornette: Sofia was the worst of the three. While Laura was standing there with her pants around her ankles and her granny panties on full display, Sofia started moaning in that broken English voice of hers like she was getting turned on by it. She said something like “Oh no… look at them… they go all the way up…” like she was narrating a porno instead of a wrestling match. It was disgusting. And nobody reined her in. Freddie was too busy having a stroke, Chelsea was too busy laughing like a hyena, and Sofia was just allowed to sit there and be horny on live TV while a woman was getting publicly humiliated. That’s not a commentary team. That’s three people who have no business being on a wrestling show.
Brian Last: So overall, the commentary during that spot was bad.
Jim Cornette: It was terrible. When something that big and deliberate happens in a match — especially something as mean-spirited as ripping somebody’s pants off — the commentary team is supposed to help tell the story. They’re supposed to react to it, put it into context, and make it land. Instead, Freddie panicked, Chelsea acted like a bitch, and Sofia sounded like she was jerking off in the booth. It made an already trashy spot feel even worse. That’s not how you call a wrestling match. That’s how you make a wrestling show look like a fucking joke.
Brian Last: I wanted to ask you about Wendy Williams. She did that backstage interview with Florence Pugh where Florence was eating the brick of cheese. What did you think of her?
Jim Cornette: (immediately) She looked like shit.
Brian Last: Straight to the point.
Jim Cornette: I call it like I see it. Wendy looked rough as hell under those lights. Her face was puffy, her skin looked bad, and she just had that tired, worn-out look the entire segment. If you’re gonna put somebody on camera interviewing people, they need to at least look like they give a damn about their appearance. She didn’t. She looked like she just rolled out of bed and walked straight into the building.
Brian Last: A lot of people backstage were saying she needs more work done. More Botox, specifically.
Jim Cornette: They’re not wrong. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with her face lately, but whatever she’s doing — or not doing — it’s not working. If you’re gonna be on television, especially in a role where you’re supposed to be putting other people down and making them look stupid, you need to look sharp. Wendy looked like she was falling apart. That’s not a good look for the company, and it’s not a good look for her.
Brian Last: Do you think they should keep using her in this role?
Jim Cornette: If they’re gonna keep using her, they need to fix her up first. Get her some more work done, get her looking presentable again. Because right now, she’s out there interviewing girls while looking worse than half of them. That defeats the whole purpose. If you’re gonna have somebody playing the “mean interviewer” character, they need to at least look like they have their shit together.
Brian Last: Some people were also saying they should lean harder into Florence’s “clueless” character and maybe keep feeding her the cheese angle.
Jim Cornette: (rolls his eyes) Of course they were. Because when you don’t have any real plans for somebody, you just turn them into a joke. “Let’s keep feeding her cheese so she can’t shit.” That’s the creative direction now? This is what happens when you let non-wrestling people book a wrestling show. Everything turns into a stupid bit. Florence is supposed to be a wrestler, not a fucking comedy prop. But instead of giving her something real to do, they’ve got her eating cheese backstage while Wendy Williams looks like she’s about to pass out on camera. It’s embarrassing.
Brian Last: So overall, not impressed with Wendy’s performance.
Jim Cornette: Not even a little bit. She looked bad, she sounded checked out, and the whole segment made everybody involved look worse. If they’re gonna keep using her, they need to fix her up. And if they’re not gonna fix her up, they should probably stop putting her on camera until she gets herself together.
Brian Last: Well Jim, we’ve gone through the whole show segment by segment. Any final thoughts before we wrap it up?
Jim Cornette: Yeah. This show was a goddamn mess from start to finish. Bad booking, bad presentation, bad commentary, and a main event that turned into a real-life injury because somebody decided to go into business for themselves. CBWL keeps finding new ways to embarrass itself, and last night might’ve been one of the worst ones yet. I don’t know how much longer they can keep running like this before it all falls apart.
Brian Last: Strong words to end on. Anything else?
Jim Cornette: Yeah. This episode of the Drive-Thru is brought to you by ReplacementRemotes.com. If you’ve lost your remote, if your dog ate it, if your kid flushed it down the toilet, or if it just stopped working like everything else in this goddamn world, go to ReplacementRemotes.com. They got remotes for every TV, every cable box, every DVD player, every streaming device — they even got universal remotes that’ll work with damn near everything. No more fighting with your old remote like it owes you money. Just go to ReplacementRemotes.com, find your model, and get a new one. It’s that simple. And tell ’em Jim Cornette sent you. They won’t give a shit, but tell ’em anyway.
Brian Last: There it is. ReplacementRemotes.com — keeping your TV under control even when everything else is falling apart.
Jim Cornette: Damn right. We’ll see you next time. Until then… keep your powder dry.
Brian Last: Take care, everybody.
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