Scene: CBWL Booking Room – The Next Day
It’s the following afternoon. The big emergency meeting from yesterday is over, and the room is much quieter now. Just you, Cowboy Watts, Jim Ross, and the four match agents (Tony Soprano, Sarah Palin, Joan Rivers, and Bill Parcells) are present.
Cowboy has the latest roster printout in front of him, along with a notepad full of half-finished match ideas. Jim Ross is flipping through his own notes, highlighter in hand. The agents are scattered around the table with coffee and cigarettes.
Cowboy lights up and leans back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: Alright. We got Friday Night Filth this week, then the go-home show after that, then the PPV. We need to start putting this together. Sterling’s out, so we’re gonna have to figure out how we’re addressing that on TV — if we even address it at all.
He looks over at Jim Ross.
Cowboy Watts: JR, what are you thinking for the women’s side? We still got Taylor as champion, Kristen’s got all that heat from Maximum Destruction, and now we got all these new names floating around. How do we start sorting this out?
Jim Ross: Well, we probably need to give Taylor something to do this week. She’s the champion, but we haven’t really established who her first big challengers are gonna be. We could start teasing some of the new signings — maybe have one of them come out and confront her, or have a multi-woman match to establish some contenders.
Tony Soprano: What about Kristen? She’s still the hottest heel we got right now. We should keep her strong. Maybe have her cut a promo about what happened to JoJo and how she’s not done yet.
Joan Rivers: And what about JoJo? Is she even cleared to be on TV yet? Last I heard she was still pretty messed up after Maximum Destruction.
Cowboy Watts: She’s not wrestling this week, that’s for damn sure. But we might be able to use her in a segment — something to keep that story alive without putting her in harm’s way again.
He looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: What do you think? You want to start building toward some of the new girls already, or do we keep the focus on the people who were already here before the big signing wave?
Cowboy Watts leans back in his chair after you lay out the plan. He takes a long drag off his cigarette and stares at the roster sheet for a second before speaking.
Cowboy Watts: Alright… let’s break it down.
He taps his finger on the table as he talks.
Cowboy Watts: Taylor opening the show talking about Sterling? That’s fine. It makes the company look like we give a shit, and it keeps Taylor looking like the top babyface. I don’t mind that. But I wouldn’t let it go too long. Five, six minutes max. Then get to the point.
He gestures with his cigarette.
Cowboy Watts: The heel interrupting and it turning into a brawl? That’s good. That’s old-school. But whoever we pick to interrupt her better be somebody we’re actually trying to do something with. Don’t waste that spot on somebody we’re not pushing. If we’re gonna do it, let’s make it mean something for next week’s go-home show.
He nods toward the JoJo idea.
Cowboy Watts: The JoJo recovery video… I’m fine with it. We spent weeks beating the hell out of her, so we might as well get some sympathy out of it. Just don’t overdo it. Keep it short and sweet. People don’t need ten minutes of sad violin music. Thirty, forty seconds is enough.
He leans forward a little.
Cowboy Watts: Now, debuting new girls this week… I’m good with it, but let’s not just throw them out there with nothing. Give ‘em something to say or do that makes people remember who they are. Don’t just have them come out, wave, and leave. That’s how you kill momentum on new signings.
Cowboy looks over at Jim Ross, then back at you.
Cowboy Watts: Overall, I don’t hate the layout. It’s simple, it hits the important stuff, and it gives us something to build toward next week. My only real note is — let’s not spend too much time on Sterling. He’s important behind the scenes, but he ain’t talent. We acknowledge it, we move on. The show still has to be about the wrestlers.
He takes another drag and exhales.
Cowboy Watts: JR, what names you got in mind? For the heel that interrupts Taylor, and for the new girls we’re debuting this week. Who you thinking?
Jim Ross flips through his notes for a second before answering.
Jim Ross: For the heel that interrupts Taylor, I was thinking Kristen Bell could work. She’s still the hottest heel we’ve got right now after what happened at Maximum Destruction. Having her come out and mock Taylor for “caring about the help” would get her nuclear heat, and it keeps that JoJo story alive without needing JoJo to be there.
He pauses, then continues.
Jim Ross: As for new signings… I think we should get Mila Kunis and Florence Pugh on TV this week. Both of them have some name value and they can actually work. We could do quick in-ring debuts for both of them — maybe a short match for one and a strong promo for the other. That way we get them in front of the crowd without overexposing them yet.
Cowboy nods slowly while listening.
Cowboy Watts: Kristen interrupting Taylor… that could work. She’s got the heat for it. And Mila and Florence are solid choices. They’re not just names — they can actually go.
Cowboy Watts leans back after hearing your updated ideas and looks over at Jim Ross.
Cowboy Watts: JR, what do you think about this Florence Pugh thing? New stable jumping her during her debut?
Jim Ross: I like the idea of getting a new group over strong, but we gotta be careful. If we destroy Florence too badly right out the gate, it might kill any momentum she could’ve had. On the other hand… if the group that jumps her looks vicious enough, it could work. We just need to make sure the beatdown feels mean, not just random.
Cowboy nods, then looks over at the agents.
Cowboy Watts: What about you guys? Who do y’all think should be the ones to jump her?
Tony Soprano: If we’re trying to build a new heel group, they gotta look dangerous right away. I wouldn’t use any of the established names for this. We need fresh faces who can come in looking like they don’t give a fuck. Maybe some of the newer signings who haven’t been on TV yet.
Joan Rivers: I agree. We should save the bigger names for later. This should feel like a new threat. If we use someone the crowd already knows, it won’t have the same impact.
Sarah Palin: What about some of the political girls? Boebert and Greene are already getting heat. If we put them in a group with someone else, they could be dangerous without needing much character work.
Bill Parcells: I don’t hate that. But I also wouldn’t sleep on using one or two of the more aggressive new signings. We’ve got some girls who haven’t debuted yet that could fit that “don’t give a fuck” vibe.
Cowboy takes a drag off his cigarette and looks back at the roster.
Cowboy Watts: Alright, let’s go through some names then.
They spend the next few minutes throwing out ideas:
- Jenna Ortega gets mentioned as a possible leader of the group because she’s already established some aggression.
- Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene are floated as members because they already have built-in heat.
- Some of the newer, un-debuted signings are also brought up as potential members.
After some back and forth, they start narrowing it down.
Jim Ross: If we’re gonna do this, I think we should keep it to three or four girls max. Too many and it gets messy. Maybe Jenna as the leader, and then two or three others who haven’t been on TV yet. That way we’re introducing new people while also using someone the crowd already has a reaction to.
Cowboy Watts: That makes sense. We can always add more later if it works.
He looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: So we’re thinking Jenna leads the group that jumps Florence. We’ll fill in the other members with some of the new girls who haven’t debuted yet. Sound good?
He waits for your confirmation before moving on.
Cowboy Watts: And for Mila’s squash… we can just use enhancement talent. No need to give away a roster girl for that.
Cowboy Watts leans back and looks over at Jim Ross after they finish talking about Mila Kunis and Laura Prepon.
Cowboy Watts: Alright, let’s talk about Florence Pugh for a minute. We were thinking about having her get jumped during her debut to get a new group over. But before we lock that in, let’s actually break her down. What’s the upside and downside here?
Jim Ross: Well, from a wrestling standpoint, she’s got some real upside. She’s athletic, she moves well, and she’s got a natural presence. She’s not green — you can tell she’s put some work in. Promo-wise, she’s solid. She’s got that no-bullshit energy and she can talk without sounding like she’s reading off a script. Fanbase-wise, she’s got a decent following from her movies, so she’s not a complete unknown.
He pauses and shrugs.
Jim Ross: Downside? She’s not exactly built like a lot of the girls we’ve been pushing. She’s more athletic than she is “sexy.” That might limit how we can present her in certain angles, especially if we’re trying to lean into the more… visual side of things.
Cowboy Watts: Yeah, that’s the big one. Tits are on the smaller side. She’s not flat, but she’s not giving us much to work with either. If we’re trying to make her a serious player, we might have to work around that instead of with it.
Tony Soprano: She can go in the ring though. That’s the main thing. If we’re gonna have her get beat up to put a new group over, at least she can make it look nasty. She’s got that “tough girl” look. People might actually buy her fighting back instead of just getting squashed like some of these other actresses.
Joan Rivers: The promo ability is there, but she’s not exactly magnetic yet. She’s good, not great. And her fanbase is more “serious moviegoer” than wrestling fan. That could go either way. Some of them might follow her here, but a lot of them might also get turned off once they see what this place actually is.
Sarah Palin: I think the upside is that she’s believable as someone who can fight. The downside is she’s not giving us that instant “wow” factor a lot of the other new girls have. If we’re trying to get heat on a new stable by beating her up, it works better if the crowd actually cares about her first. Right now, I’m not sure they do.
Bill Parcells: She’s got size and she’s tough. That helps. But if we’re being honest, she’s probably a B-tier talent at best right now. She’s not ready to be a top act, but she’s not enhancement either. She’s in that weird middle ground.
Cowboy nods while listening, then looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: So we got mixed feelings. Some upside in the ring and on the mic, but she’s not exactly a home run looks-wise, and her fanbase might not translate. If we go through with having her get jumped, we gotta make sure it actually accomplishes something.
He takes a drag off his cigarette.
Cowboy Watts: You still wanna go through with it, or you wanna rethink how we introduce her?
Cowboy Watts takes another drag off his cigarette and looks around the table.
Cowboy Watts: Alright, while we’re on Florence… let’s be real about it. What are we working with tit-wise?
Tony Soprano: (straightforward) They’re on the smaller side. Not flat, but nothing crazy either. She’s more athletic than she is stacked. If we’re trying to present her in a sexy way, we’re gonna have to work harder for it. She’s not giving us that instant visual pop like some of the other girls.
Joan Rivers: (blunt) Yeah, she’s got a nice body overall, but the tits are… average at best. They’re not doing her any favors. If we put her in anything low-cut or tight, it’s not gonna jump off the screen. We’d probably have to push her more as the “tough girl” type instead of trying to make her a sex symbol.
Sarah Palin: I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker, but it does limit some options. We can still make her look good, but she’s not someone we can just throw in a bikini and have her carry a segment on looks alone.
Bill Parcells: (gruff) She’s built like an athlete, not a model. That’s fine if we’re positioning her as a serious wrestler, but if we’re trying to get her over with the more… visual part of the audience, it’s gonna be an uphill battle.
Jim Ross: From what I’ve seen, she’s not flat, but she’s definitely on the smaller side compared to a lot of the women we’ve been using. It’s not the end of the world, but it does mean we might have to get creative with how we present her.
Cowboy nods slowly while listening.
Cowboy Watts: So we’re all basically saying the same thing. She’s not ugly, but she’s not built like some of these other girls either. If we go through with having her get beat up to put a new group over, at least it won’t feel like we’re destroying some big sex symbol. On the flip side, it also means she’s not carrying much natural appeal on her own.
Cowboy Watts raises an eyebrow after the conversation about Florence Pugh’s breast size.
Cowboy Watts: Speaking of that… is it even worth taking her off TV to get a boob job?
The room goes quiet for a second as everyone considers it.
Tony Soprano: If we’re being honest? Probably not right now. She’s not established enough yet for us to pull her off TV for something like that. With JoJo, at least people already know who she is and we’ve spent months beating the shit out of her. Florence is still new. Pulling her off TV this early might kill whatever little momentum she has before she even gets going.
Joan Rivers: I agree. She’s not a big enough name yet for people to sit around waiting for her to come back with new tits. If anything, it might just make people forget about her. We’d be better off either working with what she’s got or finding another way to present her.
Sarah Palin: It’s also a timing thing. We just signed a bunch of new girls. If we start pulling people off TV left and right for plastic surgery, it’s gonna look like we don’t have faith in them. That could hurt morale with the rest of the roster too.
Bill Parcells: She’s got other things going for her — she can actually work, she’s got presence. I don’t think we need to stop everything just so she can get her tits done. If she wants to do it later down the line on her own time, fine. But I wouldn’t make it a company priority right now.
Jim Ross: I’m with them. She’s not at the level where we need to pause her push for something cosmetic. We can still do stuff with her as-is. If she becomes a bigger deal later and she wants to get it done, that’s different. But right now? I don’t think it’s worth it.
Cowboy nods slowly while listening.
Cowboy Watts: Yeah… I’m leaning the same way. She’s not a lost cause without bigger tits. We can still use her. If anything, pulling her off TV right now would probably do more harm than good.
Jim Ross: From a pure wrestling standpoint, she’s got a higher ceiling than most of the actresses we’ve brought in. She can move, she’s got good timing, and she’s not afraid to take bumps. If we actually train her properly, I think she could be a very solid upper midcard act — maybe even main event level down the line if we’re patient with her. She’s got that natural presence that a lot of these girls don’t.
Tony Soprano: The problem is the look. She’s not built like a star in this business. The tits are average, she’s not super curvy… she’s more athletic than she is sexy. In a company that leans hard into the visual side, that hurts her. She can be a serious wrestler, but I don’t see her being the top girl unless we completely change how we present the women’s division.
Joan Rivers: I think her ceiling is probably upper midcard at best. She’s got the acting background and she can talk, but she’s not giving us that “wow” factor. She’s not someone the crowd is gonna go crazy for just by walking out. If we push her hard, it’ll feel forced. If we let her develop naturally, she could be a reliable hand who has good matches and cuts solid promos. But I don’t see her main eventing PPVs in two years.
Sarah Palin: It also depends on what we do with her now. If we have her get destroyed in her debut to put over a new heel group, that could either help or hurt her long-term. If the beatdown is really brutal and she sells it well, it could make people care about her when she eventually fights back. But if we just squash her and move on, she might get lost in the shuffle.
Bill Parcells: She’s got tools. She’s tough, she’s got size for a girl, and she can work. But she’s not a home run. I see her as a B+ level talent at best. Someone who can have good matches and be in important angles, but probably not the face of the women’s division unless something changes — like if she gets some work done or we find a really strong character for her.
Cowboy nods slowly while listening.
Cowboy Watts: So we’re all kinda saying the same thing. She’s got upside in the ring and on the mic, but her look is holding her back from being a true top star. She could be a very good upper midcarder if we play our cards right, but she’s probably not main event material unless we get creative. Yeah… that’s the thing. If we have her come out all excited for her debut and then get jumped and beaten down, she’s basically a babyface by default. The crowd’s gonna feel bad for her and want to see her get revenge later.
He looks over at Jim Ross.
Cowboy Watts: You agree with that?
Jim Ross: Pretty much. Once you do a beatdown angle like that on someone’s first appearance, it’s hard to go back. The audience is gonna see her as the one who got screwed over. If we want her to be a heel eventually, we’d have to do a lot of work to turn her later. It’s not impossible, but it’s an extra step.
Tony Soprano: That’s why I was asking earlier if we really wanna go this route with her. If we jump her in her debut, we’re locking her in as a babyface for the foreseeable future. If that’s what we want, then fine. But if we were thinking about making her a heel down the line, this might not be the smartest way to introduce her.
Joan Rivers: Exactly. Right now we’re kind of forcing her into the “sympathetic babyface who got screwed” role. Which can work, but we should be doing it on purpose, not by accident.
Sarah Palin: It’s not a bad thing if we actually want her as a babyface. The question is — do we?
Cowboy Watts: Alright, so she’s a babyface. That makes sense if we’re having her get jumped. But now we gotta figure out the why. Why would this new heel group go after her on her very first night? What’s the story?
He looks around the table.
Jim Ross: We need a reason that makes sense, even if it’s heel logic. If they just jump her for no reason, it feels random. We want the audience to understand why this group is targeting her.
Tony Soprano: Could be jealousy. She’s getting a lot of attention as a big new signing. Maybe the group feels like the company is pushing her over people who’ve already been here grinding. So they make an example out of her.
Joan Rivers: Or it could be more personal. Maybe one of the girls in the group has history with her — or just doesn’t like “movie stars” coming into wrestling and getting opportunities they feel they deserve. That could work if we give one of them a strong enough personality.
Sarah Palin: It could also be a power move. New group comes in and immediately takes out one of the company’s big new signings to send a message: “We run this place now.” That’s simple, but it can be effective.
Bill Parcells: Or maybe they see her as weak. They think because she’s an actress, she doesn’t belong here. So they jump her to prove a point — that this isn’t a place for “Hollywood types.”
Cowboy Watts picks up the phone and puts it on speaker.
Cowboy Watts: Arnold, Elena — you two on the line?
Arnold Palmer: Yeah, I’m here.
Elena Ceaușescu: I’m listening.
Cowboy Watts: We’re trying to figure out who on this roster Florence Pugh actually has real history with. We want the attack on her to feel personal, not random. So we’re looking for someone she’s had real-life heat with in the past — or at least someone we can make it look like she does.
There’s a short pause.
Arnold Palmer: From what I know, she worked with Scarlett Johansson on Black Widow. I don’t think there was any public bad blood, but in this business, you never really know what goes on behind the scenes. They could’ve had some tension on set that never made it to the press.
Elena Ceaușescu: Scarlett is already established here. If we use her, it might feel like we’re protecting a bigger name by having her go after a newcomer. That could work, but it might also make Florence look like she’s being fed to someone more important.
Arnold Palmer: What about Anya Taylor-Joy? They’ve both been in big movies around the same time. There’s always some level of competition between actresses in that space. We could build a story that they’ve had issues for years.
Elena Ceaușescu: Anya is very good at playing unsettling characters. If we make her the one with the grudge, it could feel believable. But I’m not sure how much real history they actually have.
Jim Ross: What about Mila Kunis? They’re both big names who came up around the same era in Hollywood. We could manufacture some “we’ve never liked each other” type heat pretty easily.
Cowboy Watts: Mila’s already debuting this week in that angle with Laura Prepon. Might be too much to put on her plate right away.
There’s another pause while everyone thinks.
Arnold Palmer: Honestly, out of everyone on the roster, Scarlett Johansson is probably the one with the most real connection to her. Even if there wasn’t public drama, we could still build something off the fact that they worked together before.
Elena Ceaușescu: If we want it to feel more personal and less “Hollywood rivalry,” we might have to create heat from scratch with someone else. But if you want to use existing history, Scarlett is the strongest option.
Cowboy Watts: Alright, so if we’re doing it this way, we need to pick someone who can be Scarlett’s kayfabe friend — the one who helps spread the rumor and guards the door. Who do we got that fits?
They start going through the roster.
Jim Ross: Jenna Ortega makes a lot of sense. She’s already got some aggression built up, and she hasn’t been tied to too many storylines yet. She could be a good fit as Scarlett’s new ally. Plus, she’s young and hungry — it wouldn’t be hard to believe she’s trying to get in good with someone like Scarlett.
Tony Soprano: Jenna’s a strong choice. She’s got that mean streak already. If we want this new group to feel dangerous, having her as the one guarding the door and getting cheap shots in works. She’s not a big enough name yet that it feels weird for her to be playing second fiddle to Scarlett either.
Joan Rivers: What about Courtney Love? She’s chaotic enough that spreading rumors and stirring shit would feel natural for her. The downside is she might be too unpredictable to be a reliable “friend.” She could easily turn on Scarlett later if it benefits her.
Sarah Palin: Lauren Boebert could work too. She’s already getting heat, and teaming her up with Scarlett could make both of them feel more dangerous. The rumor-spreading fits her character as well — she’s the type who would talk shit behind someone’s back.
Bill Parcells: Anya Taylor-Joy is interesting. She’s got that weird, unsettling energy. If we want the friend to feel a little unhinged, she could fit. But I’m not sure how natural it would feel for her and Scarlett to be close.
Jim Ross: Mila Kunis is already debuting this week in that angle with Laura Prepon, so she’s probably out. Nicki Minaj could work, but she might be too big of a personality to play second fiddle to Scarlett right now.
Cowboy nods while listening.
Cowboy Watts: So right now the strongest options seem to be Jenna Ortega or Lauren Boebert. Both could believably be in Scarlett’s circle and help spread the rumor.
Cowboy Watts picks up the phone again and puts it on speaker.
Cowboy Watts: Arnold, you still there?
Arnold Palmer: Yeah, I’m here. What do you need?
Cowboy Watts: We’re trying to figure out who on the roster has real history with Scarlett Johansson. We want someone who could believably be in her circle for this Florence Pugh angle. Who actually has some kind of real-life connection with her?
There’s a short pause while Arnold thinks.
Arnold Palmer: From what I know, the strongest real connection on the roster is Florence Pugh. They worked together on Black Widow. That’s the most direct professional history we’ve got.
Jim Ross: Yeah, but we’re already using Florence as the one getting attacked. So she’s out.
Arnold Palmer: Right. After Florence, it gets thinner. Anya Taylor-Joy has been in the same circles — both of them were in big franchise movies around the same time. There’s some industry overlap, but I don’t think they have any public history together, good or bad.
Elena Ceaușescu: (who’s still on the line) Mila Kunis was also big around the same era as Scarlett. They’ve both been in the Hollywood scene for a long time. But again, I don’t recall any notable public drama or close friendship between them.
Arnold Palmer: Anne Hathaway has been around the same circles too, especially during award seasons, but nothing stands out as real history. Kristen Bell was in the same general entertainment world, but I don’t think they’ve worked together or had any notable interactions.
There’s another pause.
Arnold Palmer: Honestly, out of everyone currently on the roster, Florence Pugh is really the only one with clear, documented real-life professional history with Scarlett. Everyone else is pretty thin.
Cowboy Watts: So we don’t really have anyone with strong real history we can use as Scarlett’s kayfabe friend…
Jim Ross: We might just have to create the relationship from scratch then. Pick someone who makes sense story-wise rather than relying on real history.
Cowboy Watts raises an eyebrow after you suggest Boxxy (Catie Wayne).
Cowboy Watts: Boxxy? The internet girl?
Jim Ross: That’s… actually not a bad idea.
Tony Soprano: She’s already got that chaotic internet troll energy. It wouldn’t be hard to believe she’s the one stirring shit up online and spreading rumors in message boards and forums. That fits her whole deal.
Joan Rivers: And it makes sense why Florence wouldn’t immediately know who started it. If it’s coming from some unhinged internet personality posting on message boards, it could take a while for it to get back to her. Plus, Boxxy could play the “I was just asking questions” card while secretly being the one fanning the flames.
Sarah Palin: It also protects Scarlett’s character a bit. If Boxxy is the one actually spreading the rumor and Scarlett genuinely believes it, then Scarlett looks more like a victim of bad information rather than just a catty bitch making stuff up.
Bill Parcells: The only downside is that Boxxy isn’t exactly a physical threat. If she’s guarding the door while Scarlett attacks Florence, it might not feel very intimidating. But if we play it as her being more of a schemer who gets other people to do the dirty work, it could still work.
Cowboy nods slowly while thinking it over.
Cowboy Watts: It’s not the worst idea. It gives us a reason why the rumor exists without making Scarlett look like she made it up herself. And it fits Boxxy’s whole internet gremlin personality.
He looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: You want to go with Boxxy as the rumor-spreader who guards the door? Or do you still want to consider someone else who could be more physically involved in the beatdown?
Cowboy Watts spreads the printed 8-segment layout across the table. Jim Ross and the four agents (Tony Soprano, Sarah Palin, Joan Rivers, and Bill Parcells) are all looking it over.
Cowboy Watts: Alright. Let’s go through this thing segment by segment and see what we think.
Segment 1 – Taylor’s Opening Promo
Jim Ross: The outfit is… a choice. Super tight white latex with zippers on the crotch and “DRIVE ME STERLING” on the ass? That’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer. But I guess that’s the point.
Tony Soprano: It’s trashy as hell, but it’ll get attention. People are either gonna love it or call it disgusting. Either way, they’re talking about it.
Joan Rivers: It’s giving “high-class escort who just got off a shift.” I kind of love it. It’s so on the nose it wraps back around to being funny.
Cowboy Watts: It’s stupid, but it fits this place. We’ll go with it.
Segment 2 – Kristen Bell Interrupts
Jim Ross: Kristen suggesting Sterling “needs to die” and going to The Bad Place is pretty rough. That’s gonna get her nuclear heat though.
Sarah Palin: Yeah, that’s good heat. She’s already the top heel. This just cements it. The “boooohooooo” mocking is a nice touch too.
Bill Parcells: The brawl needs to look nasty. Let them really go at it. No pulling punches.
Segment 3 – Mariska Makes It Official
Tony Soprano: Top-down camera angle right down her chest? Jesus. We’re really going for it with the 61-year-old tits, huh?
Joan Rivers: Hey, if we’ve got ‘em, we might as well show ‘em. The crowd will either appreciate it or lose their minds. Either way, it’s memorable.
Cowboy Watts: We’re already this deep in the gutter. Might as well keep going.
Segment 4 – Mila Kunis Debut
Jim Ross: The commentators putting over that “Jackie was way hotter than that ugly bitch Donna” is nasty. I like it.
Tony Soprano: This is the ultimate backstab. It’s perfect for establishing Mila as a two-faced piece of shit. The piss spot is disgusting, but it’ll get talked about.
Joan Rivers: It’s mean, it’s petty, and it fits her character. I’m in.
Segment 5 – Florence Pugh Debut Promo
Sarah Palin: This one’s actually sweet. It’s a nice contrast to everything else on the show. Let her be genuine here.
Bill Parcells: Yeah, keep it wholesome. She’s gonna get destroyed later anyway. Might as well let her have this moment.
Segment 6 – Florence Gets Jumped
Cowboy Watts: We’re getting color here, right?
Jim Ross: Yeah. Scarlett beats her down pretty good. Boxxy guards the door and gets some cheap shots in after.
Tony Soprano: Having Scarlett do it by herself while Boxxy just stands there like a pathetic little tryhard is smart. It makes Boxxy look weak and desperate, which fits her.
Joan Rivers: The rumor about Florence talking shit about Black Widow is a good way to justify it without making Scarlett look completely unhinged. Even if it’s bullshit.
Segment 7 – JoJo Video
Jim Ross: This one’s gonna be divisive. Some people are gonna feel bad for her. Others are gonna laugh their asses off because it’s so over-the-top.
Sarah Palin: That’s fine. Even if jaded fans treat it like comedy, it still gets JoJo sympathy from the people who buy into it. That’s all we need.
Segment 8 – Emma Watson vs Hilary Duff
Bill Parcells: I like this. A straight-up technical match with no bullshit. It shows we’re trying to have some actual wrestling on the show.
Jim Ross: Emma going over clean and them shaking hands afterward is a nice touch. It feels like old-school respect.
Cowboy Watts: And it gives us a clean way to close the show while still plugging Taylor vs Kristen for next week. I’m good with it.
After going through everything, Cowboy leans back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: Overall, this show is nasty, trashy, and mean as hell. Which, let’s be honest, is exactly what this company is right now. I don’t hate it.
Cowboy Watts looks around the table after they finish breaking down the full 8-segment show.
Cowboy Watts: Alright. Before we lock this in, I want to hear from everybody. Agents, talent relations — tell me what you think this show is missing, or what it can do without. Be honest.
He puts the layout in the middle of the table.
Agents’ Feedback:
Tony Soprano: I think it’s pretty solid overall, but it’s heavy on the women’s division. We’ve got Taylor, Kristen, Mila’s angle, Florence getting jumped, and the JoJo video. That’s five out of eight segments. It might feel like we’re ignoring the rest of the roster. Maybe we should add at least one more men’s match or angle so it doesn’t look like we only care about the women this week.
Joan Rivers: I agree with Tony. The show feels very “women’s division heavy.” Which is fine if that’s the direction we’re going, but we should be careful not to make the rest of the card feel like an afterthought. Also, Segment 6 (Florence getting jumped) is strong, but it might hit harder if we give the audience a little more time to actually like her first. Right now she only gets one segment before she gets destroyed.
Sarah Palin: I think the show is missing some hope. Almost everything is mean, nasty, or exploitative. The only real babyface moment is Florence’s promo in Segment 5, and then she immediately gets beat up. We might want one more thing that makes people feel good, even if it’s small. Right now it’s just misery and cheap heat.
Bill Parcells: I don’t mind the nasty tone, but I think Segment 7 (JoJo video) can go. It feels like we’re forcing sympathy. Most people are either gonna feel bad for her or laugh at it. I don’t think it moves the needle that much. We could use that time for something else — maybe another match or a quick angle with one of the new signings.
Talent Relations Feedback:
Cowboy puts Arnold Palmer and Elena Ceaușescu on speakerphone.
Arnold Palmer: From a talent relations side, I think the show is missing some balance. We’re introducing Mila and Florence this week, but we’re also beating both of them down pretty hard. That might be too much for one episode. One of them should probably have a cleaner debut so the audience doesn’t immediately associate both new girls with getting destroyed.
Elena Ceaușescu: I agree with Arnold. Florence especially is getting a very rough introduction. If we want her to be a babyface, we should consider giving her at least one more moment before or after the attack where the crowd can actually root for her. Right now she gets one nice promo and then immediately gets jumped and bled. That might be too much too soon.
Jim Ross: One more thing — Segment 8 (Emma vs Hilary) is fine, but it feels a little out of place with everything else being so mean and sexual. It’s the only “serious wrestling” segment on the show. It might get lost in the shuffle. If we’re trying to show we have work rate, we should probably give it a better spot on the card instead of putting it last.
After everyone finishes, Cowboy leans back and looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: So that’s what we’re hearing. A few people think the show is too mean and one-sided. Some think we’re introducing too many new girls just to beat them up. And a couple think the work rate match at the end might get swallowed up by everything else.
He takes a drag off his cigarette.
Tony Soprano’s comment about adding a men’s match hangs in the air for a second before Jim Ross speaks up.
Jim Ross: Hold on… this is an all-female promotion, right? Everyone knows that?
The room goes quiet for a moment.
Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Yeah. It is. No men’s matches. No male wrestlers. This whole thing is women only.
Tony Soprano: (shrugging) My bad. I forgot we were doing it like that. In that case, the show’s already pretty balanced on that front.
Joan Rivers: Yeah, if it’s all women, then we don’t need to force in any men’s segments. The current layout is fine on that.
Sarah Palin: It actually makes the show feel more focused. Everything on the card is women, so it doesn’t feel like we’re padding it with stuff that doesn’t belong.
Bill Parcells: Only thing I’d still say is that Segment 8 (Emma vs Hilary) feels a little out of place at the end. It’s a serious wrestling match after a bunch of nasty, sexual, and exploitative stuff. It might get lost. But other than that, I don’t think we’re missing anything major just because there’s no men on the show.
Cowboy looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: Alright, so we’re all on the same page now. It’s an all-female roster. That changes the “we need more men’s matches” complaint.
He leans back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: Anything else anyone thinks this show is missing or can do without, now that we’ve cleared that up?
The room looks around for a moment.
Jim Ross: I still think the JoJo video might be skippable if we want to tighten things up, but other than that, it’s pretty tight for an eight-segment show.
Tony Soprano: Yeah. It’s nasty, it’s mean, and it fits what this place is. I don’t think we’re missing anything major.
Cowboy nods and looks back at you.
Cowboy Watts: Alright. This is the final version. Let’s go through it one more time and make sure everyone’s good with it.
Segment 1 – Taylor Swift Opens the Show
Jim Ross: The outfit is already wild, but now we’re telling her to arch her back and shake her ass the whole time while mouthing “Hope you like it, Sterling” to the camera? That’s… a lot. But it’ll definitely get people talking.
Tony Soprano: It’s trashy as hell, but that’s what this place does. The “Sterling’s life depends on it” line is funny as fuck too. I say we go for it.
Joan Rivers: It’s so over-the-top it’s almost performance art. I’m into it.
Segment 2 – Kristen Bell Interrupts
Sarah Palin: Kristen telling Taylor that Sterling needs to die and that he’s going to The Bad Place is nasty. That’s going to get her real heat. Good.
Bill Parcells: They just brawl off with no winner? That’s fine. Keeps it hot for next week without blowing the match off too early.
Segment 3 – Mariska Makes It Official
Tony Soprano: Oiling up her tits with fake tanner and spraying her with water so she looks sweaty? Cowboy, you’re not even trying to hide it anymore.
Cowboy Watts: (grinning slightly) What? The crowd should appreciate what we’ve got.
Joan Rivers: It’s shameless. I respect it.
Segment 4 – Emma Watson & Hilary Duff Segment
Jim Ross: Letting them shoot off their real personalities is smart. It’ll feel more natural than scripted lines.
Sarah Palin: This is a good way to start building Emma as the top babyface while slowly turning Hilary. I like it.
Segment 5 – Mila Kunis Debut Angle
Tony Soprano: Stripping Laura’s pants off and revealing granny panties after already beating the piss out of her? That’s nasty. In a good way.
Joan Rivers: The commentators putting over that Jackie was hotter than Donna is mean as hell. Perfect.
Bill Parcells: This is the kind of beatdown that makes people hate Mila immediately. Good.
Segment 6 – Florence Pugh Debut Promo + Cheese Bit
Jim Ross: Her promo sounds good — sweet and genuine. But then we have her eating a brick of cheese and playing dumb when they ask how she’s gonna shit it out later? That’s… weirdly funny.
Sarah Palin: It’s stupid in the right way. It makes her come off as a little ditzy but still likeable.
Segment 7 – JoJo Siwa Video
Tony Soprano: This is the “tease of a tease.” We’re not saying boob job, but we’re heavily implying her problems would be solved if her tits were bigger. That’s cold.
Joan Rivers: Jaded fans are gonna laugh their asses off at this. Which is fine. At least some people will feel bad for her.
Segment 8 – Main Event: Emma Watson vs Hilary Duff
Jim Ross: They’re gonna try to have a real technical match but it’s gonna be stiff and choreographed as hell because they’re actresses. That’s actually kind of funny in its own way.
Bill Parcells: Emma goes over clean and they hug afterward? That’s fine. It keeps Emma looking strong without burying Hilary too badly.
Cowboy Watts: It’s not gonna be a great match, but that’s okay. The point is to show we’re at least trying to have wrestling sometimes.
After going through everything, Cowboy leans back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts: Alright. This show is mean, trashy, horny, and occasionally stupid. Which, again, is pretty much what this company is right now.
He looks around the table.
Cowboy Watts: Any last objections before we lock it in?
The room stays quiet for a few seconds.
Jim Ross: It’s not perfect, but it’s on brand.
Tony Soprano: It’s nasty. I like it.
After everyone finishes going over the full 8-segment show, Elena Ceaușescu speaks up from her seat near the end of the table. Her voice is calm and matter-of-fact, as usual.
Elena Ceaușescu: There is one issue we have not addressed.
The room quiets down as everyone turns to look at her.
Elena Ceaușescu: We do not have a backstage interviewer hired. Looking at this show plan, we have at least two segments that will require one — Florence Pugh’s cheese interview and the Emma Watson versus Hilary Duff backstage meeting. We cannot run these segments properly without someone in that role.
Jim Ross: (rubbing his chin) She’s right. We’ve been so focused on the wrestlers and the power structure that we never actually hired a backstage person.
Tony Soprano: We could just throw one of the girls out there for now, but that’s gonna look cheap if we keep doing it.
Joan Rivers: Or we could use one of the agents temporarily, but that also feels sloppy.
Sarah Palin: We need to figure this out fast. The show is in a few days. We can’t keep winging it with random people holding microphones.
Bill Parcells: We should either pull someone from the roster who can talk, or bring in an outside person on short notice. Either way, we need to decide quick.
Cowboy Watts: JR, what do you think? You’re the one running Talent Relations.
Jim Ross: (shaking his head) I’m gonna sit this one out. I work too close with the announce team already. Feels like a conflict of interest if I’m the one picking who’s gonna be doing backstage interviews. I’d rather stay hands off on this.
Cowboy Watts: (nodding) Fair enough.
He then looks toward the phone on speaker.
Cowboy Watts: Elena, Arnold — what do you two think?
Elena Ceaușescu: (calm and direct) We need someone who can be professional but also not afraid to ask uncomfortable questions. This is not a normal wrestling company. A normal backstage interviewer will either get eaten alive or will refuse to play along with the tone of this place. We should either bring in someone who already understands how this company operates… or someone who is willing to be humiliated on camera if needed.
Arnold Palmer: I agree with Elena. We don’t need another pretty face holding a microphone. We need someone who can handle chaos and isn’t going to get offended when things get nasty. If we throw in some random person from outside, they’re either going to quit after one show or they’re going to make everything feel too corporate and clean. Neither option is good.
He pauses for a second before continuing.
Arnold Palmer: We could use someone who’s already on the roster temporarily, but that might take away from their in-ring character. Or we could bring in someone new who’s willing to play ball with how unhinged this place is. Either way, we need to decide fast.
Elena Ceaușescu: Whoever we pick also needs to understand that they are not safe from what happens in this company. They will likely be put in uncomfortable situations. If they cannot handle that, they will not last.
Cowboy takes a drag off his cigarette and looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: There it is. Elena and Arnold both think we need someone who can handle the bullshit instead of some clean-cut interviewer type.
He leans back in his chair.
Cowboy Watts and Jim Ross are going through the resumes while Dan Schneider is on speakerphone.
Cowboy Watts: Alright Dan, we got a few names here. Who do you like off this list?
There’s a short pause as Dan looks over what they sent him.
Dan Schneider: Send me the photos too while you’re at it.
Jim Ross sighs but forwards them anyway.
After a minute, Dan speaks again.
Dan Schneider: Okay… I like a few of these. Victoria Justice stands out. She’s got that clean, girl-next-door look. She did some hosting stuff before. She’d look good on camera and probably wouldn’t cause too much trouble.
Jim Ross: (quietly) Of course he picks her.
Dan Schneider: Sarah Hyland is another one. She’s got that sarcastic, quick-witted energy. She could probably handle some of the chaos around here without crying about it. Plus she’s easy on the eyes.
Cowboy Watts: Who else?
Dan Schneider: Jennette McCurdy could work too. She’s got an edge to her. She might actually fit in with how nasty this place can get. She’s not as “sweet” as some of the others.
He pauses again.
Dan Schneider: Miranda Cosgrove is on here too… but I don’t know. She’s a little too wholesome for what we’d probably end up asking her to do. She’d probably get eaten alive.
Tony Soprano: (grinning) Dan’s just picking the ones he used to work with, huh?
Dan Schneider: (laughing) I’m just giving you names that would look good on camera and could probably handle the environment. You asked for my picks.
Cowboy leans back and looks over at you.
Cowboy Watts: There it is. Dan’s top choices are Victoria Justice, Sarah Hyland, and Jennette McCurdy.
He taps the table.
Arnold Palmer: Before we go any further — Jennette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove are already under contract as in-ring talent. Unless Dan thinks they’d actually be better as interviewers than wrestlers, we probably shouldn’t pull them off TV for this.
Dan Schneider: (on speaker) I was just throwing out names I thought would look good on camera. If they’re already booked as wrestlers, then yeah… probably not ideal to move them backstage.
Cowboy Watts: (leaning back) I’ll be honest — I don’t even want someone young and hot in that role. I’d rather have someone old and ugly holding the microphone. That way the fans’ eyes stay on the actual talent instead of getting distracted by the interviewer. We already got enough pretty faces walking around. The backstage person should be invisible.
Jim Ross: (nodding) I agree with that. We don’t need another distraction. The focus should stay on the girls in the ring. Someone older, maybe a little rough around the edges, would probably be the smarter move.
Elena Ceaușescu: (calmly) If we are going to bring in someone new, I suggest we hire a Black woman for the role. It would add some diversity to the on-screen product and could help with certain audience demographics. We are already very white-heavy in our presentation.
The room is quiet for a second.
Tony Soprano: (shrugging) I don’t give a shit what color she is, as long as she can do the job and doesn’t cry every time someone says something mean to her.
Joan Rivers: A Black woman could work. Just make sure she’s got thick skin. This place isn’t exactly known for being polite.
Arnold Palmer: Actually… I might have someone. I’ve got a connection to Wendy Williams. She’s been out of the spotlight for a while, but she’s still got name recognition. She knows how to interview, she’s not afraid to ask messy questions, and she’s not some young pretty face that’s gonna pull focus. She might actually be a good fit.
Cowboy Watts: (raising an eyebrow) Wendy Williams? That’s a name. She’s definitely old and ugly enough for what I want.
Jim Ross: She’s got experience. And she’s not gonna get walked all over. That could actually work.
After some back and forth, Cowboy Watts makes the call.
Cowboy Watts: Alright. Tony — you’re getting on the next flight. Go sign Wendy Williams. Take Butterbean with you. We need her here, and we need her fast.
Tony Soprano: (nodding) You got it.
Cowboy Watts: She’s got dementia. Use it. Tell her she’s coming to tape her own show. Make it sound legit. If her agent pushes back, rough him up. Bad. And if Wendy starts asking too many questions or hesitating… offer her new Botox and to get her sagging implants fixed. That should shut her up.
Tony smirks.
Tony Soprano: Easy enough.
Cowboy Watts: And Tony… don’t go too crazy. We need her functional when she gets here.
Tony Soprano: (grinning) I’ll keep her in one piece. Mostly.
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